Fanmail the Fourth

[idolpro]

Who: you and your adoring fan(mail)s ♥
Where: Hotel lobby
When: Day 55, evening

[ It's been pretty quiet lately, huh? Well . . . no. Every day is busy in Imeeji! You just want to relax and go home, right? Especially after going for a fun swim!

Well . . . Going home might be difficult for you. Press open on the elevators and you'll find that they open up to actual mountains of fanmail, haphazardly shoved in like jenga - if you're unlucky, you might even be literally buried in it. You can't even press the button from upstairs to go down to the lobby because the elevators are filled at max capacity. Surely they couldn't be that heavy though, right!?

Is this . . . the weight of love. . . . ?

The staircases are blocked with a couple boxes too, but nothing so obstructive that you can't push them away with a little elbow grease.

There's just . . . so much . . . . ]

Comments

[columbidaring]

[ opens an elevator and is promptly fucking buried by an avalanche of fanmail ]

WHY

[holdhandsandsing]

So much love...?

[Starts digging E out.]

[sleeplessknight]

[well the fact that there's so much of it just makes this easier...

that is to say, wherever most of the TRR fanmail is there's also... mysteriously... a pre-made meal addressed to Sol.

it's pasta.

🤔]

1/?

[bluerosestyle]

[once he's done reading his fanmail he'll

notice and pick it up and

wait this is impossible]

[motorcycle_noises]

[ There's a lot to take in here. There's a pretty nice letter to start with, something sweet enough to go into his "keep" pile. One fan wants him to make out with a boyfriend, which gets an amused snort out of him before it goes in the "keep" pile. Someone thinks his life is so hard, and though he's uncertain about the tone, it and the accompanying fanart are also in the "keep" pile, along with the letter from a fan who is rooting for him.

Some pieces are just plain weird. There's song... lyrics? And someone wants him to put a star in his name. When he reads that one, he looks up and just says: ]

No.

[ One person thinks he's boring and wants him to transfer out, and another wishes he'd been a berserk cannibal because they think it'd be hot. Those are both going in the "toss" pile.

There's a cute plushie... that's full of glass. He yelps when he picks it up. ]

Ow!

[ But he grimaces and keeps going for the rest of it... and promptly wishes he hadn't. There's clown porn. Lots and lots of clown porn.

It's when he gets to this that he groans in defeat. ]

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

[unbr8kable]

That good, huh?

[inspiteful]

[ There's just an arm sticking out of this mountain of fanmail.

Just waving and flailing around trying to find something to hold onto to make his way out. Free him... ]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Grabs onto his hand and pulls.]

[awakenerd]

[You can catch Phoenix gathering fan mail addressed to him in the lobby!]

So it's that time again.

Vid

[awakenerd]

[In the video room he's programmed in a shredder and glasses. He's putting the glasses on and opening various mails and packages to react to each.]

[artificialinelegance]

[ someone was having a good fun exciting time reading fanmail and then she got to these two and now she's just like

staring blankly

whomst the fuck, ]

[neverbeentogeorgia]

[ peeking over her shoulder ]

So're you stealing other peoples' mail, or 've you got a split personality?

[stakesthesame]

[ i just woke up so

gingerly climbing over the boxes down the stairs and floating others out of her way ]

Uh, good morning I guess. What the bleep's up with all the trash?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

First time you've been here for fan mail day?

[bluerosestyle]

[standing against a wall after reading reading baby's first fanmails... the other two are tucked under his arm but he's rereading the last one]

. . . Did he really mean it that way? But we've only spoken once in person...

[furrytailprince]

[ Stalking past but notices him in deep thought ]

Sol?

[lovestained]

[ just staring at this one ]

Hm. Tasteless.

[nohalation]

Uh oh . . . did you get anything nice or was it bad?

[rollwillpowercheck]

Oh no, they're really cute...

[which is to say Anubis is busy collecting a full set of sensitIV monster plushes. and a 99 one.]

[forgottenmercy]

Oh, those, ah, are cute...

LIVE!

[criminaljustice]

[so someone got the Constructive Criticism dumpsterfire ready...

Boss is up and at 'em from a period of not being much of anywhere--and the scars around his eyes definitely give away why, but ASIDE FROM THAT...

already making sacrifices--the last one he tosses in after looking at a camera pointedly:]

Light 'em on fire, huh. I'll start with your commentary.

[anyway, the keychains are cute, the doujin is acceptable, and this nice letter gets him to smile.]

Thanks for the nice letter again. It really does help, even if we don't really agree on some things.

Re: LIVE!

[awakenerd]

[Tossing the shredded mail from his vid into the constructive criticism fire.]

[boomgoesthebirdy]

[ He starts poking a box with his cane. ]

Hey, what's going on?

[ He actually has a few cute offerings, but..... ]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

It's fan mail where our "adoring" fans bury us in their awful commentary.

Some of them can be entertaining. If you're a fan of dark humor.

[artisticliberty]

[fox is sort of bemused by the amount of fanmail. he finds the charms he received to be kind of cute, even if it's kind of weird to have keychains of yourself?]

These are surprisingly well-made... I should extend my thanks to whomever sent them.

[while sifting through the fanmail he finds this nasty letter, this highly suggestive letter, this nice but dangerous letter, and this extremely lewd letter.]

[criminaljustice]

Psssst...

[he's not being quiet at all but hey, a Boss out and about for once.

he is also gesturing to a fire he made.

a dumpsterfire.

in a dumpster with Constructive Criticism written on the side.

where bad things go to burn.]

[floriographys]

[You know like... the kid on Christmas that is just used to getting a pair of socks? Nya very much doesn't intend on getting any mail, nor does he WANT any, but there was the time when he broke down publicly, so that was. Probably something.

There is at least one that thinks about what he thought about his name, so that's not so bad. Who named him indeed?! And a very sweet drawing that he does quite enjoy. It's crude but cute, and the smell is lovely! He can't even really disagree with one person's sense of humor. It's awful, but also like. Nothing in life matters.]

Well, this isn't so ba-

[Then there's this one that drops Nya's face to a kind of annoyed look. Not even upset, just. Annoyed.]

...Eugh. I'm not surprised, just disappointed.

[motorcycle_noises]

[ Don't mind Sanguine while he's disposing of an obscene amount of clown porn he received. ]

Got some mail of your own, huh?

[searingedgelord]

[She hadn't actually gotten much in the way of fanmail before this but now there are people who want her to eat them.

Honestly she doesn't know what she expected.

Then there's this. Which has her like ???

And also this. Which is awkward, maybe. She's not even sure.

There there's this one...]

Why are they like this?

[Well, at least she got a nice pep talk and a plushie.]

[criminaljustice]

[... plushie 8(]

[asonoficeandfire]

[as he opens the elevator, a box tips over and barely misses his head, spilling letters and things everywhere]

What in the world—?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

I think the phrasing you're looking for is: "What the hell is this?"

[malignstar]

[ Shaking his "blood" vial, as he sorts through his mail ]

I'm going to have to get a necklace for this.

[ He checks out his nails for a second. ]

Hmm, how much do I want to play up my homewrecker image?

[ Time to scoop up all those exciting letters. ]

Man, this is going to be a long video.

[nohalation]

Videos are a lot of fun though!!

[mapsio]

[ Well, she is actually surprised to see she has any fanmail, what with being so new.

Some of them are pretty cute (questionably anyways)!

And then there is THIS. Which is what she most outwardly reacts to. ]

I feel like they wanted me to be flattered... but they just missed the mark.

[criminaljustice]

They tend to do that.

I've got a dumpsterfire ready for any... unseemly ones.

[sup. he's healed and has eyes with some scarring around them, albeit probably has more scarring elsewhere but y'know.]

[liarliarliar]

[Whew stuff. Bless this doujin. That gets a :3 smile and is stuck into B's bag. Then his face falls as the next thing he reads is... this... Yikes. For a minute it looks like he may rip it up but nope into the bag it goes.

This is...]

Wow don't call him out like that.

[Maid video gets a grin from him. And bless this nice letter. B is delighted by this video. WHOA WE'RE HOT! Oh wait, deadeyed stare at this letter. Into the bag with you. He absolutely GASPS at how cute THIS is! ...then makes a face and just shoves another doujin into the bag. BAD.

On the other hand this doujin wow. Into the bag for. Later. Huffs in amusement at this letter. And also at this one

hey alcheme what yall doing when im not here. Into the bag!!1

Fans holy shit what. Doesn't know how to react to that. But then this makes him smile. Phone strap!!

And end on. Well.]

Oh of course our hatedom is witch burning focused. That's clever!!

[worldlyafflictions]

What's the difference between bag and no bag?

[furrytailprince]

[ He is so not healthy enough for the letter avalanche...

But eventually he'll pick his way through and go through a lovely assortment of expressions from very confused to mildly annoyed to more annoyed and finally to just plain disgusted. That said, he won't damage any of the letters and calmly gathers them in a neat pile to shove into his now rather saggy sash. ]

I suppose I shall have to provide my answers later...

[scarvedforlife]

Eeeeh, you answer them all??

[shutthefoxup]

[Just shoving everything in his duffel bag. He'll be pausing to frown at some particularly rude ones. When he gets to the video though, he'll set the box down.]

That looks easy enough to do...

[liarliarliar]

Are you going to dance what?

[rollplayinghouse]

[Maki is sorting her mail into piles.

The acceptable pile contains phantom thief AU doujin, S&M with Intensity, and, after some consideration, doujin with Man Eater and Intensity. She tries to subtly hide this pile though.

The "for the fire" pile contains someone who wants her to be a murder power couple with Whiskey, a foursome doujin she deeply does not enjoy, a note about killing her whole unit, and someone who wants to join her harem.

The ??? pile contains fanart of her and Silk and two worryingly cute letters.]

...I was almost expecting worse.

[criminaljustice]

I think there's a delay on things...

[theyregooddogs]

[going to just be picking through everything idly but thoroughly, hmm hmmmm. yeah, he's probably more in the way than out of it]

Too much free time or purely obsessed . . .

[malignstar]

[ Jeans? Check ]

Man, you are one tough unit to track down sometimes, you know that?

[deicider]

[Cardigan's laughing about this letter proposing a sexual slavery contract between them and Yasuragi because honestly it's not the worst idea.

The 'I loved you' note is concerning but gets tossed aside in favor of this this Yasugan/Cardiragi doujin. They're a little perplexed when Raijuu shows up in it.]

Why Raijuu...? [Ace would be the more obvious choice given Yasuragi's hateboner for him]

[knightceties]

He knows more about Taisho...?

[liftoft]

[ Honestly he looks--a lot of things. Perplexed, pleased, annoyed, vaguely insulted, perplexed again. He's got a small pile of letters in one hand and a little strap of himself in a maid uniform in the other, kind of going over them continually ]

So uh, what am I supposed to do with this stuff? Do I write back? Call a live or somethin'? Post a thank you to social media?

[afailedmurder]

The first time we received fanmail, we did a vid to respond to each letter individually... but these days we simply burn anything irredeemable in the inevitable Bad End live.