imeeji_frontstage | Fanmail the Fourth

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Fanmail the Fourth

Who: you and your adoring fan(mail)s ♥
Where: Hotel lobby
When: Day 55, evening

[ It's been pretty quiet lately, huh? Well . . . no. Every day is busy in Imeeji! You just want to relax and go home, right? Especially after going for a fun swim!

Well . . . Going home might be difficult for you. Press open on the elevators and you'll find that they open up to actual mountains of fanmail, haphazardly shoved in like jenga - if you're unlucky, you might even be literally buried in it. You can't even press the button from upstairs to go down to the lobby because the elevators are filled at max capacity. Surely they couldn't be that heavy though, right!?

Is this . . . the weight of love. . . . ?

The staircases are blocked with a couple boxes too, but nothing so obstructive that you can't push them away with a little elbow grease.

There's just . . . so much . . . . ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If it's especially bad, just burn it.

[just a thumb at his dumpster fire]

[ He grins at Boss, happy to be, idk, spoken to? In a way that seems inclusive? BUDDIES. ]

Nah, the worst of it is like, tasteless, but not enough to really bother me. What do I care if somebody thinks I shoulda been more violent or whatever! Then it's basically just stuff like, you're perfect on Alcheme or the worst on Alcheme, and I don't really care about that either!

Don't get me wrong--I'm happy if I'm makin' somebody out there happy, but I'm gonna be me no matter what anybody else is wishing I was doing, y'know? 'Course, I'm still brand new.

Why--what'd you get?

Nothing too bad this time.

But one time, there was quite a lot of torture porn.

[... yeah.

it's as bad as it sounds.]

[ Makes a face ]

Yeah, okay. That's pretty messed up. I dunno if I care what people out there are into, but you gotta be really sure about what somebody likes if you send something like that to anybody. Sorry you had to deal with that, man!

Don't worry. One day you'll get something that deserves purity by fire too.

[pats you on the shoulder. it's ok dude. that's how this place goes.]

I don't think I was worried about not getting anything about that, haha! But yeah, you're probably right... I'm new, so I probably only got pretty tame stuff. Some of it is... nice? Or kinda nice--

[ he shows Boss the one about him being "a cute woof" who should be on wild city ]

... so the furries are into you.

Noted.

Why do I thiknk I'm gonna regret that?

Ask Wild City what kind of fanmail they get.

Sounds like I'd regret that, too!

...Hey, I don't wanna be a downer, so this can be quick if you want it to be--but I heard from A you got pretty roughed up, and I never really did get to talk to you about all that. You doin' okay? Anything you wanna say to me?

[... raises eyebrows which just shows the scars around his eyes pretty well.]

I'm doing better. But I'm not sure what I'd have to say to someone so brand new to the situation there's no way you could make a good call one way or the other.

[ Kind of. Kind of makes. A face ]

Ah, mm.

[i just calls it like i sees it.]

No offense, just. You were hearing one side to a lot of different things, probably. And even C got a lot of it wrong and learned his lesson on that point.

It's not that. But, y'know--if I was too new to make a good call, that means all the rest of you who've been here longer definitely knew the right call to make--is how that comes out sounding.

[ he doesn't sound... accusatory or mad or anything. Just kind of tired ]

Listen... I'm new, but even I know there wasn't a single "good call" that anybody coulda made. Nobody gets put in a game like that to be able to make good choices. Writin' my input off on account of me being new is pretty shitty.

I'm not trying to write off your reasoning behind your decision.

And I'm not saying long timers know what the hell we're doing half the time, either.

It sucks to be new and for people to be more lenient to any shit decisions that get made because there aren't any good decisions, but trust me when I say that if any part of your decision was influenced by C or even A's reasonings, then they were off on a number of them.

And I can't hold someone that new responsible for not being able to see that.

... though, for the record, A does have a more accurate viewpoint of me, even if he's... himself about it.

Edited 2018-11-05 04:41 (UTC)

All I heard about you guys was that I guess half of us are datin' half of you, and that we're close. Neither of 'em really said anything about you at all besides that, actually.

Really. 'Cause C admitted he talked about our history in those kind of games. Though that was after the decision was made.

... anyway... look. I'm more angry at C than I am you. For several reasons. Most of which is because we've both been here since the start and there's some baggage with that.

I just don't know you as well to take major offense to it. Though I'm not happy with it. It's not a great first impression to hear "I thought hitting you was a good idea because our units are close and you'd forgive us", I'll be honest.

Heh, well, if it helps, that's not what I said. I guess it might come down to the same thing at the end, but what I was thinkin' was "our units are close, so they won't automatically assume the worst - like that we hate 'em or wanna hurt 'em - and'll at least hear us out if we go talk to them afterwards". I definitely didn't choose it thinkin' we'd get automatically forgiven, and if anybody said that's what I was thinking, then you got mislead too.

We didn't find out until after the game.

But I can tell you that my first instinctive thought was that we were being punished for something.

And that's probably irrational.

But I've also been scapegoated too many times for it to not feel that way. And I'm not the only Bad Ender who felt that way about it.

Punished? By the other units? What the heck for..?

[shrugs a bit]

There's been times where we've made shitty moves. There's no telling who remembers or holds what against who half the time.

B, E, and H weren't there. And it's hard to tell what the driving force behind C's actions and reasons were beyond "easiest option" and "temper tantrum". And in that case, the fact that he still sees it as okay to hurt people he knows has been actively working not to hurt his own unit is...?

[lifts hands in a kind of helpless gesture.]

From watchin' it, I don't think those were his reasons? He didn't wanna hit the one team he thought had been gettin' pounded on lately, and he didn't wanna hit the team he thought would attack us after the game for sure. Sounded pretty logical to me. He definitely wasn't the only one havin' a temper tantrum, either.

[ he sighs. SIGHS ]

If you ask me, anybody holdin' anything that happens in those games against each other is dumb, unless you get people who thought it was great or something. Not like any of us are choosin' to be there, and like I said earlier there wasn't any way to make a good choice. If I'm gonna get mad at somebody, it'd definitely be the producers, y'know?

[well, the first bit makes his face twist up a bit but then it smooths out at the second bit.]

Of course the producers are the ones responsible and who should be on everyone's mind throughout our experiences here.

But I'm just having a hard time hearing "it was fine to hit Bad End because they haven't been having it as rough lately" when the one game where someone wasn't isolated, tortured, killed, or traumatized was the poison-antidote game.

I'm not... trying to complain. I know everyone's having hard times, but--

[that actually. hurts to hear?!]

[ he kind of stares at boss for a second, head tilted ]

...You feel persecuted, huh? That's like--your enemy. I say "C thought one of the suggestions had been getting hit hard lately so he wanted to avoid 'em" and you hear "Bad End deserved it 'cause it's been fine for them". Why's that, do you think?

[ again, not meanly, just-- very open and honestly curious. ]

I've got trust issues.

I know that.

I'm irrational about it, too. I know that, also.

That's why I said what I said about it earlier.

But what I hear is more "Bad End can take it because they always take shit".

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