Hell Bachelor: The Revenge

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Who: Y’all
Where: Lobby
When: Day 150 around sunset

[The lobby has been set up today for a ~very special viewing~. The chairs are pulled around to face one of the TV screens, there’s glasses and water set aside for a BARiTONES style refreshment stand, and some helpful information cards have been set out for participants to get up to speed. The screen is showing someone’s shakycam recording of none other than Mars’ terrible Hell Bachelor stint, currently zoomed in to a tearful angel-looking demon (that's Velly by the by, fan favorite).

At the front stands Intensity (with all his limbs even and in this this suit), and with him Kohime -- wearing an Avante jacket swapped out for a BARiTONES blazer -- perched on a nearby table top with her legs crossed, close to Intensity.]

I do so hate leaving unfinished business.

[With a wide dramatic wave of his arm:]

Ladies and Gentleman, we present to you today the rare opportunity to provide closure to one of the poor, despondent idols in our midst. Mars, while returned to his paladin tribe, left behind six unfinished episodes, a score of broken hearts, ridiculous amounts of blackmail merchandise, and a decision yet unmade.

Who was to accept the final rose?

But it need not end this way. Our undercover agents have recovered video evidence of the life he left behind. And so, my challenge to you is this: since MidBoss was so reluctant to throw down the gauntlet, then we can make that decision for him. Review the contestants and make a pitch for the demon mistress of your choice.

May the best bachelorette win.

[Then, directed off-camera:] Can we get a pep in here for tallying?

[Meanwhile, Kohime slides forward to lean impertinently on Intensity, and adds:] Drinks on me.

((Debate/booze double Live! Come make bank by embarrassing Mars.

List of eligible bachelorettes here))

Comments

[windheritance]

Oh my GOD.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Come get your points, Zippy. They're well earned.

[purrrnicious]

[SUSPICIOUS GLARE as she tries to figure out if she's actually this guy before]

. . .You're new. Or newish.

[purrrnicious]

[Changes a glass of water into a rum and coke for Intensity.







. . .

And then a second into a One-Two Punch because huzzah two hands.]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[HUZZAH. Two hands.

Kohime is the best.

Everyone else can go home]

Make sure our guest of honor doesn't get too far away.

Need to keep his ratings up and all.

[foolmetwice]

[doop doop he is wandering into the lobby trying to return home after a BUSY DAY--]










[nope he's immediately turning on his heel to leave BYE]

[420blazeit]

[ HEYYYYY BUDDY ]

How about them tapes, Bachelor?

[puzzlekeeper]

[ holy shit ]






What did he do to piss you off?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

What makes you think he did anything?

[This is how assholes show respect.

That's his excuse, and he's sticking to it]

[morderti]

[what is all this damn noise?]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Oh.






It's you.

[asonoficeandfire]

... isn't that a little mean?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Hmmmmm. Let me think about this.






No.

[mind_blown]

Oh, hey, I beat that guy up this morning.

[he needs points]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Really now?

I'm starting to like you more and more, whatever your name was.

[rollplayinghouse]

...

Wouldn't that just leave the poor bachelorette desolate and alone, knowing she could have been chosen but her true love is now out of her reach?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Then she can have her own spin-off show as she soothes her sad broken heart.

I'm sure the audience would eat up that kind of arc.

[420blazeit]

And he said no one would probably be able to get the tapes. I knew he was wrong.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

He constantly underestimates my unit.

[worldlyafflictions]

I am absolutely available ta make a poll.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Snaps his fingers]

Make it happen.

My vote goes to Velvet.

[softlyfalling]

It's a show that's just... a matchmaking competition?

...these people all sound horrible.

[ hmm kohime detected let's. gently keep distance ]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Welcome to your crash course on reality TV.

This show isn't even that offensive.

[marsascending]

Draven is, of course, the best candidate, on account of she's clearly very talented.

[ she has already acquired a glass of red wine from herself, probably. ]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Oh? Is that what your preference trends?

[Reaches out to tap his glass against hers]

[carnivorouscarnival]

[ scoffs ]

What a pointless debate—what's any of it got to do with our preferences? In the end, it's all about who's most capable of stealing his heart.


Which is the Praying Mantis, from the looks of it. Gyahahaha!

[purrrnicious]

Pff, how should I know? Apparently that's how the show's set up, so the audience can cheer for their favourite.

[tradesecret]

They're all so charming, I can't pick one.

[purrrnicious]

Aww. . . zero Live points, then. Too bad.

[justpure]

[Ah, yes. Good ol Hell Bachelor. Medusa is attending the live in that starry dress thing (because why not look pretty this afternoon?) and was going through the information cards when he was suddenly reminded of... That memory.

He shakes the feeling off. He hasn't met these women in person and has no true influence over if they shall live or die. Plus, he's playing matchmaker to Mars of all people. Why should he worry over a bit of deja vu?

Moving on from that, then...] Hm. I think the best pairing should be the most compatible one. It would certianly help if I knew more about him than what we got to see on the show... And his own live, earlier.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

He's a MidBoss.

What more explanation do you need?

[liarliarliar]

He proclaims his affections for Intensity in a shocking twist. That tsuntsun heart of his longs and yearns no matter how he denies it. The banter, the battle, the struggle of affections he cannot admit. It's an intoxicating spell he cannot break!

For now it is but yearning glances he steals when no one looks. But can he break through his own emotional struggles and take hold of what he truly desires....a CEO's heart.

1/2

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .?

[arealeyeopener]

All reality television is bad and I'm not dignifying any of this with a response.

And I don't feel like reading all this for the sake of some random guy I don't know.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

What's this I hear?

It's the sound of a poor person too proud to cash in on free points.

[nohalation]

They all seem very nice, why does he not just date all of them?

[here have a flyer]

[purrrnicious]

Y'know, that's a great idea. You should tell him –– he's probably just a little shy and needs the encouragement.

[shutthefoxup]

So just vote for whoever he should date?

[purrrnicious]

What, for the points, or whatever? Just argue for your choice, it's gotta count as a "debate".

[nihilmancy]

[Sekhmet hadn't intended to attend, but she was on the way to the lobby anyway, and-

well, it's very complicated that Kohime is there, but Mars' getting made fun of seems pretty funny, and her last conversation with Intensity had been interesting, so she decides to stay a moment to observe the proceedings.]

I don't know if I understand the concept of this very well.

[purrrnicious]

[––Starts lashing her tail when she spots her.]

Easy. You turn around and you get lost.

[onetrippony]

[ Whup, an HSS is stopping to watch that shakycam. ]

... Oh so this is what he was doing.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

And you are?

[resonantblue]

I'm trying to think which one seems most harmless... y-you know, so Mars doesn't die.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

What an extreme vote of no confidence for our boy. How sad.