Hell Bachelor: The Revenge

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Who: Y’all
Where: Lobby
When: Day 150 around sunset

[The lobby has been set up today for a ~very special viewing~. The chairs are pulled around to face one of the TV screens, there’s glasses and water set aside for a BARiTONES style refreshment stand, and some helpful information cards have been set out for participants to get up to speed. The screen is showing someone’s shakycam recording of none other than Mars’ terrible Hell Bachelor stint, currently zoomed in to a tearful angel-looking demon (that's Velly by the by, fan favorite).

At the front stands Intensity (with all his limbs even and in this this suit), and with him Kohime -- wearing an Avante jacket swapped out for a BARiTONES blazer -- perched on a nearby table top with her legs crossed, close to Intensity.]

I do so hate leaving unfinished business.

[With a wide dramatic wave of his arm:]

Ladies and Gentleman, we present to you today the rare opportunity to provide closure to one of the poor, despondent idols in our midst. Mars, while returned to his paladin tribe, left behind six unfinished episodes, a score of broken hearts, ridiculous amounts of blackmail merchandise, and a decision yet unmade.

Who was to accept the final rose?

But it need not end this way. Our undercover agents have recovered video evidence of the life he left behind. And so, my challenge to you is this: since MidBoss was so reluctant to throw down the gauntlet, then we can make that decision for him. Review the contestants and make a pitch for the demon mistress of your choice.

May the best bachelorette win.

[Then, directed off-camera:] Can we get a pep in here for tallying?

[Meanwhile, Kohime slides forward to lean impertinently on Intensity, and adds:] Drinks on me.

((Debate/booze double Live! Come make bank by embarrassing Mars.

List of eligible bachelorettes here))

Comments

[nohalation]

They all seem very nice, why does he not just date all of them?

[here have a flyer]

[purrrnicious]

Y'know, that's a great idea. You should tell him –– he's probably just a little shy and needs the encouragement.

[nohalation]

Oh! That is so very kind of you, I will do that! Thank you for such a nice idea!

[purrrnicious]

Why, I bet he even needs advice on how to woo each of them! I mean, they'll need their own special approaches, and he's really kind of a hopeless case, isn't he?

[nohalation]

I dunno! Is he hopeless?!

[purrrnicious]

Absolutely. Think you can save him?

[nohalation]

It doesn't matter if I think I can, I simply have to do it.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Because if everyone is special, than no one is.

What is that?

[Points to the flyer]

[nohalation]

That’s a picture of God. I said I’d put pictures everywhere if she told me more about my brother!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .






Why would she know about your brother?

[nohalation]

Oh...it seems we’re from the same world.

1/??? I'm sorry

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[No]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[No]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[And yet it makes absolute fucking sense.

Perfectly.

Fucking.

Logical.]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Thanks. He hates it]

Done

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Not only is she a lunatic, but she is an extremely biased individual.

Don't listen to her.

Re: Done

[nohalation]

She's not crazy, she's just annoying.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

And manipulative.

Don't do her grunt work for her. That's unbefitting of a Ruler.

[nohalation]

Do not worry! It is a compromise! I do not mind doing a favor for something that I have requested! But her initial request was for me to swear fealty, and that's just silly, isn't it? So I wouldn't accept that!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Drags a hand own his face]

Why does she need the flyers?

More importantly, how does she know your brother?

[nohalation]

Because she likes her own face.

[taps chin]

I assume it must be because my brother was part of an angel cult. I think she's an angel, too, so it seems like she at least heard of him... it is not every day that a half-human takes over an angel sect.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

You think she was a part of his cult? Or the other way around?

[nohalation]

Neither, I don’t think he would ever associate with her.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

But still you think she might know something valuable?