imeeji_frontstage | Hell Bachelor: The Revenge

Who: Y’all
Where: Lobby
When: Day 150 around sunset

[The lobby has been set up today for a ~very special viewing~. The chairs are pulled around to face one of the TV screens, there’s glasses and water set aside for a BARiTONES style refreshment stand, and some helpful information cards have been set out for participants to get up to speed. The screen is showing someone’s shakycam recording of none other than Mars’ terrible Hell Bachelor stint, currently zoomed in to a tearful angel-looking demon (that's Velly by the by, fan favorite).

At the front stands Intensity (with all his limbs even and in this this suit), and with him Kohime -- wearing an Avante jacket swapped out for a BARiTONES blazer -- perched on a nearby table top with her legs crossed, close to Intensity.]

I do so hate leaving unfinished business.

[With a wide dramatic wave of his arm:]

Ladies and Gentleman, we present to you today the rare opportunity to provide closure to one of the poor, despondent idols in our midst. Mars, while returned to his paladin tribe, left behind six unfinished episodes, a score of broken hearts, ridiculous amounts of blackmail merchandise, and a decision yet unmade.

Who was to accept the final rose?

But it need not end this way. Our undercover agents have recovered video evidence of the life he left behind. And so, my challenge to you is this: since MidBoss was so reluctant to throw down the gauntlet, then we can make that decision for him. Review the contestants and make a pitch for the demon mistress of your choice.

May the best bachelorette win.

[Then, directed off-camera:] Can we get a pep in here for tallying?

[Meanwhile, Kohime slides forward to lean impertinently on Intensity, and adds:] Drinks on me.

((Debate/booze double Live! Come make bank by embarrassing Mars.

List of eligible bachelorettes here))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh my GOD.

Come get your points, Zippy. They're well earned.

Zippy? Is that what we're going with?

What? Catchy nicknames seem exactly your brand.

I don't mind! I just wanted to make sure that was me.

Of course it was you. Who else would it be?

Now--

[Shoving the information cards at him]

Pick.

I kinda like Velly, to be honest. I know she's the safe choice, but she's so nice.

...

You like fake nice girls?

Well, every contestant is fake, right? If it's a choice between fake personality and fake personality, I'll go with the nicest one.

I think the serial killer is following her heart.

And the heart of many other people. To their misfortune.

I guess that's true, but I don't know if I can support a serial killer! That's like, the worst kind of killer!

So authenticity only gets you so far.

Obviously. Not being fake doesn't matter that much when it's like, here's the real me, I eat human hearts and have a bunch of babies in cages in my basement! In that case they suck either way.