Hell Bachelor: The Revenge

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Who: Y’all
Where: Lobby
When: Day 150 around sunset

[The lobby has been set up today for a ~very special viewing~. The chairs are pulled around to face one of the TV screens, there’s glasses and water set aside for a BARiTONES style refreshment stand, and some helpful information cards have been set out for participants to get up to speed. The screen is showing someone’s shakycam recording of none other than Mars’ terrible Hell Bachelor stint, currently zoomed in to a tearful angel-looking demon (that's Velly by the by, fan favorite).

At the front stands Intensity (with all his limbs even and in this this suit), and with him Kohime -- wearing an Avante jacket swapped out for a BARiTONES blazer -- perched on a nearby table top with her legs crossed, close to Intensity.]

I do so hate leaving unfinished business.

[With a wide dramatic wave of his arm:]

Ladies and Gentleman, we present to you today the rare opportunity to provide closure to one of the poor, despondent idols in our midst. Mars, while returned to his paladin tribe, left behind six unfinished episodes, a score of broken hearts, ridiculous amounts of blackmail merchandise, and a decision yet unmade.

Who was to accept the final rose?

But it need not end this way. Our undercover agents have recovered video evidence of the life he left behind. And so, my challenge to you is this: since MidBoss was so reluctant to throw down the gauntlet, then we can make that decision for him. Review the contestants and make a pitch for the demon mistress of your choice.

May the best bachelorette win.

[Then, directed off-camera:] Can we get a pep in here for tallying?

[Meanwhile, Kohime slides forward to lean impertinently on Intensity, and adds:] Drinks on me.

((Debate/booze double Live! Come make bank by embarrassing Mars.

List of eligible bachelorettes here))

Comments

[liarliarliar]

He proclaims his affections for Intensity in a shocking twist. That tsuntsun heart of his longs and yearns no matter how he denies it. The banter, the battle, the struggle of affections he cannot admit. It's an intoxicating spell he cannot break!

For now it is but yearning glances he steals when no one looks. But can he break through his own emotional struggles and take hold of what he truly desires....a CEO's heart.

1/2

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Curse your inevitable and actually unexpected betrayal.

I'm much too good for him.

Also as facilitator of this debate, I must remain a neutral third party.

[liarliarliar]

On the contrary though....

That sort of attitude is EXACTLY why you could be a compatible pairing, Intensity! You both thrive off competition and combative situations! Your looking down on him would give you freedom to have a relationship where you feel free of the burdens of expectations, remembering anniversaries, and general good boyfriend behavior! All play and no work!

And he would be able to be the true scrappy yet endearing gremlin of a stud he is towards you without shame in return!

If only his heart would allow him to do so!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[His frown is set very firmly in place. Like it's frozen there or something.

But don't mind him getting slightly paler with each sentence]

Never put him and the word gremlin in the same sentence ever again.

[liarliarliar]

Noted.

But I'll still ship it.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Only if I top.

[liarliarliar]

Of COURSE you top, Intensity. You exude so much bossy top energy it's crazy.

Except in that doujinshi I have where Gold tops you but that's because his big muscle power outdoes your top energy.

1/2

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Fuck that. Physical strength isn't---

2/3 I lied

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Wait]

What now?!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

And you kept that.





Right.

Of course you did.

[purrrnicious]

[Oh cool teasing Intensity too, a 2-for-1. She'll just be over here providing the laugh track.]

[liarliarliar]

[fiddles with his phone because Intensity himself foolishly purchased B an image editing program

]

It's LOVE.

[purrrnicious]

Oooh, wait, wait––






[Defaces the bachelorette info card. It has now been updated.]




There. Now it's official.

[liarliarliar]

It's so tender yet so forbidden! How will either of them COPE?

[purrrnicious]

Uh, pretty sure it's neither of those things. Especially the first.

[liarliarliar]

It's absolutely forbidden. Mars is a loyal boyfriend. As for the tender part.

I just say that because they would both hate that.

[purrrnicious]

Loyal to who? I've never seen him with anyone.

[justpure]

[He looks at Intensity.

He looks at B.]

... I don't think assuming such things about Intensity is wise, but are you saying we should stage our own version of this show?

[liarliarliar]

I can do whatever I want! Intensity isn't the bos--

Well he is the boss of me but I can still do whatever I want! And we certainly COULD.

[justpure]

[. . . He understands the thing, but he doesn't want to expose it to the Producers. So he moves on.]

We could make it a live, somehow.

[liarliarliar]

Ahhh? How's that?

[justpure]

[He thinks about it...] I would suggest you check your text messages soon. We wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

[Technokinesis comes in handy when you need to sneakily text. He'll fire one of those off in a few minutes.]

[liarliarliar]

Oh my!! How exciting...!

[justpure]

[Sure enough, B gets a PM text that goes like this:]

メデューサ: Your unit specializes in pranks, yes?
メデューサ: The prank element can be you tricking someone into becoming the "bachelor".
メデューサ: The experimental element can be us choosing a small group of volunteers to be his potential dates. These will be our participants in the dating game.