(no subject)

[fullbodied]

Who: North, and you!
Where: The tea shop
When: Day 116, brunch

[North is doing her first live? her first live! and she's got a little cake in front of her, as she's broadcasting from her phone, with some clearly bad acting.]

Heyyy! I've never done a live before, so go easy on me, okayyyy? Anyway--

I'm gonna beeeeeet noooooo one can eat as much cake as me!

And loser has to braid the winner's hair. Nya.

If you think you can beeeeeeat meeeee. [she winks]

But you can't! Bye!

Comments

[justpure]

Excuse me...

[Hey, FiN got a new person... Who got a mascot head with one of his starting outfits. Clearly he isn't here to participate in the contest...]

Do you have some method to measure how much cake you've consumed?

[fullbodied]

Yeah! It's called plates!

[justpure]

Plates...

[He does not sound amused.]

So you're not keeping track of how many slices you consume.

[fullbodied]

Mhm, I am!

[are you accusing her of cheating on eating cake, because she is offended]

Each plate has a slice of cake, right? So, we just count plates at the end!

1/2

[justpure]

[No, he is making sure you are not cheating on eating cake.]

I see...

In that case, I shall monitor the competition.

2/2 COUNTER-LIVE

[justpure]

[He takes out his phone and presses the LIVE button.]

Hello, loyal viewers. This is Medusa from Future is Now, chiming in with a bit of fieldwork.

[YEP. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSE'S LIVE. He takes a plate off the table and examines it.]

This, as you may recognize, is an ordinary plate. According to our friend here, this so-called "cake eating contest" will be judged by plates. One slice per plate. [Setting the plate down in front of him.] I, for one, do not understand how a human being can eat so much cake, but I don't want any at the moment myself.

Instead, I shall keep an eye on these an eye on these participants and how much cake they consume. I wish to know how much cake they consume before they begin to feel sick. Not how much they consume before they finally stop. Humans can be silly creatures.

[He's kind of hoping he's getting the nonsensical wording down. His monotone should be weird enough, but...]

I cannot give a prize for whoever reaches the cake threshold last, but I shall take my studies into account the next time we have an event that involves cake...

Now... [He turns his head to North and nods.] Continue.

[He steps away from the table... And waits...]

[fullbodied]

... Nya?

[justpure]

[He just stands there.

The mask is still lit with that neutral expression.

GO ON.]

[fullbodied]

[SHE'S NOW A LITTLE SCARED TO EAT CAKE.]

... This is intense.

[and then she eats the cake anyway]

[justpure]

[He is watching...

At least he's polite enough to not interrupt her as she eats. He'd ruin his own experiment if he did!]

[fullbodied]

[and then.

she eats another cake, for another challenge.

she does not look sick]

[resonantblue]

[she had dropped by the tea shop to see what the fuss was about, and]

An interesting experiment. Your hypothesis?

[justpure]

[... Okay, he will move to interact with his unitmate.]

I think the average cake threshold is... Approximately one slice. Perhaps two, depending on mass.

[resonantblue]

[examines the slices of cake in the cafe... and nods]

Do not neglect the possibility of toppings. Those who selected icing or fruit on their cakes could be at a greater disadvantage than those who selected a lighter slice. The icing in particular. It's loaded with sugar.

[justpure]

I see...

[He glances at the people who are still up for eating cake at this point.]

I had assumed it was only one kind of cake... Perhaps we should try this again in the future with less variables.

[resonantblue]

It is fine. Your experiment still has potential.

Re: 2/2 COUNTER-LIVE

[crossmyheartandhope]

...dude. Cake has never been this serious business before.

[justpure]

. . .

Are you here for the contest?

[crossmyheartandhope]

You know it.

[justpure]

Very well.

[He just stands there... Waiting...]

.... Go on, eat.

[crossmyheartandhope]

What, just like that?

Someone's gotta say go or something, right?

[tradesecret]

[ is quietly pinged by this voice, but smiles as soon as she's noticed ]

I'll offer a bottle of booze for the winner!

— survivor?

What's the most apt term?

[justpure]

[What is wrong with his voice? It's a nice voice.]

I don't recommend giving alcohol to someone who is already ill... But if you must pour salt on the wounds I shall not stop you.

[tradesecret]

[ it sounds a little like someone she remembers, even though she is pretty sure this guy isn't him. ]

On the contrary. There is a whole class of spirits served after a meal: digestifs. As the name suggests, they're meant to settle the stomach after a rich and heavy meal. They range from sweet to earthy and herbaceous, depending on the country of origin, and are enjoyed worldwide.

[justpure]

...

[He leans forward with interest.]

Is that so?

[Knowledge. He craves it.]

Then go right ahead!