Being a celebrity sucks, and I say that as someone who loves attention.
... I've been getting worried. About stuff. My stuff, from before I went to Earth, coming back to bite us. Neither me nor Kit do what we do because we want to be heroes, but that's still what we're seen as.
And I - well. One of the memories I got back was a big chunk of time from the arena. And the cells.
When you've been thrown in enough fights to the death.
You kinda... start. Blurring lines outside the arena, too?
[ fidgets with a loose lock of hair, looking out across the park ]
... They started putting me in cells with other prisoners. Not all the time. It was another one of their tests, I guess - to see how I'd handle it. Aaaaand. Well. I hurt people.
You were in a desperate position and had no way of knowing if any of those people could or would harm you. If you hadn't been, you wouldn't have done it. I don't think it makes you a bad person or anything.
I don't know if I wouldn't. That's the thing. [ Looks down at her hands. ] Can I really say for sure, that in the heat of the moment ... if someone startled me, I wouldn't react badly? No. Not anymore.
Oh, it'd absolutely still be worth feeling bad over, it's just that if you - or honestly, any Alch - slipped in a moment, we can undo it. So that's maybe a little bit of pressure off?
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... I've been getting worried. About stuff. My stuff, from before I went to Earth, coming back to bite us. Neither me nor Kit do what we do because we want to be heroes, but that's still what we're seen as.
And I - well. One of the memories I got back was a big chunk of time from the arena. And the cells.
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There's one guy who could. Probably would, too.
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He's not... exactly what I'm worried about, though. I'm worried more about, uh. Me.
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Turns out.
When you've been thrown in enough fights to the death.
You kinda... start. Blurring lines outside the arena, too?
[ fidgets with a loose lock of hair, looking out across the park ]
... They started putting me in cells with other prisoners. Not all the time. It was another one of their tests, I guess - to see how I'd handle it. Aaaaand. Well. I hurt people.
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I think under those conditions it would have been a miracle if you didn't hurt anyone.
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[ so was she ]
Some of them were - [ huff ] seems wrong, out here, to say they were arseholes or stupid. They pushed their luck, but still.
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I don't know if I wouldn't. That's the thing. [ Looks down at her hands. ] Can I really say for sure, that in the heat of the moment ... if someone startled me, I wouldn't react badly? No. Not anymore.
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Still. It'd be a bad look.
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Here? Big oof. I'm proud of our non-violence, you know? Even if some people get weird about it.
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[ she hadn't thought of that ]
[ SHARP INHALE ]
... I think it'd be bad if I didn't feel bad about biting a child, even if I undid it seconds later ...
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...
Mind if I ask a favour?
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Squirt-gun me with a sleeping potion or something?
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[ a lil laugh ]
I prob'ly should talk to the others about this, but. Eugh.
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And even if they weren't soft: ew, vulnerability with people I don't know super well.