Memories

[time5kip]

Who: Idols
Where: The Hotel or wherever their hearts will take them
When: 288 afternoon

[ Some of us have been FORBIDDEN from taking memories from too long and it's time to catch up ]

Comments

[selfpreservationist]

[his eyelids flutter for a second, and he nods]

Yes. Yes... that's who I am. I know who I am. I am... myself.

[rollplayinghouse]

Yeah. That's right.

[she shifts closer, leaning her forehead against his chest]

[selfpreservationist]

[he takes a few slow, deep breaths and lets them out. slowly, he comes back to himself]

... I think I'd... like to... go to the library.

[rollplayinghouse]

[she lifts her head again]

Mm. Do you want to take my bike...?

[selfpreservationist]

Your bike...

[a pause, as he kind of struggles to parse things]

Yes, that's fine.

[rollplayinghouse]

We can do that, then.

[She moves away but keeps hold of his hand, tugging him towards the door.]

[selfpreservationist]

[he follows, without a delay in response time, but otherwise quiet]

[rollplayinghouse]

[She also stays quiet as they head for the garage, not speaking again until she's climbing on her bike.]

...Do you want to fly? Or stick to the roads, this time?

[selfpreservationist]

... just the roads, please.

[he climbs onto the bike behind her, and if his arms are wrapping around her tighter than expected, well. that's just how it is.]

[rollplayinghouse]

[That's about as expected, really.

She waits for him to be settled before starting off, and they drive to the library at a normal travel speed without any sudden movements.]

[selfpreservationist]

I'm going to look around for a bit.

[once they're at the library, he's going to just walk around the shelves for a while, at an idle pace, like he's taking the time to really absorb his surroundings.

eventually he finds a book--on poetry, of course, and he takes it and sits in one of the pods]

[rollplayinghouse]

...Mm. I'll be here.

[She's seated with a book long before he is, though it's something she picked off a shelf fairly arbitrarily (Adventures in Poetry: An Introduction and a Collection), and she does not actually appear to be turning pages very often in favor of watching him out of the corner of her eye.]

[selfpreservationist]

[he reads a few pages, but quickly finds it hard to keep focus. he closes the book and rests his head on her shoulder]

[rollplayinghouse]

...

[She sets her book down and wraps an arm around him, shifting close]

How are you doing?

[selfpreservationist]

... poorly. I feel as though... I'll become lost inside my own mind if I'm not careful. As though there's a trap waiting to be sprung. I close my eyes and all I see is...

[shudders]

[rollplayinghouse]

Mm.

[she runs fingers through his hair]

Do you want a distraction? We could do something. Or just talk. Something to help you focus on here and now.

[selfpreservationist]

This is helping.

[...]

"The heart is a tumor of weakness." No wonder he came to hate it so...

[rollplayinghouse]

Yeah.

[...]

That's pretty stupid, though. I mean, I know it's meant to be figurative, but... The heart is kind of the opposite of a tumor, isn't it? It's a pretty important part of the body.

[selfpreservationist]

For a human, yes. For a... for a tool... it is unnecessary.

[rollplayinghouse]

...Well, you're not a tool. You're a human.

[selfpreservationist]

You think I don't know that?

[rollplayinghouse]

No, of course not. But sometimes it's good to hear, anyway.

[selfpreservationist]

[doesn't say anything, just lowers his eyes and leans on her]

[rollplayinghouse]

[fluffs his hair a little, quiet for a moment herself before speaking again]

...It's hard for me to imagine having gone through something like that. Well, there are a lot of things that are hard for me to imagine, but... I'm glad you're here with me, whatever happened.

Are you thinking that was... the reason he cut you out of him? That he thought it was weak?

[selfpreservationist]

... yes. "Heavy chain that does freeze my bones around"...