Memories

[time5kip]

Who: Idols
Where: The Hotel or wherever their hearts will take them
When: 288 afternoon

[ Some of us have been FORBIDDEN from taking memories from too long and it's time to catch up ]

Comments

[selfpreservationist]

[doesn't say anything, just lowers his eyes and leans on her]

[rollplayinghouse]

[fluffs his hair a little, quiet for a moment herself before speaking again]

...It's hard for me to imagine having gone through something like that. Well, there are a lot of things that are hard for me to imagine, but... I'm glad you're here with me, whatever happened.

Are you thinking that was... the reason he cut you out of him? That he thought it was weak?

[selfpreservationist]

... yes. "Heavy chain that does freeze my bones around"...

[rollplayinghouse]

Is that something he said...?

[selfpreservationist]

[nods]

It's not... a revelation. I knew it was the reason he discarded me.

[rollplayinghouse]

Mm, I knew it was that he thought it was weak. I meant... if you thought the reason he felt so strongly it needed to be gone was because... of all that.

[selfpreservationist]

I don't know. Perhaps.

...

I... what was left of me... could not even muster hatred towards Mundus. He was our master. But once that spell was broken... I cannot say how Vergil felt towards him.

[rollplayinghouse]

[that sure is an interesting selection of pronoun choices.

she traces the folds of his clothes with her free hand absently, her tone soft, musing]

There's no way that something like that didn't leave an impact. And you both definitely tend a lot towards... mm, personal responsibility? Or you could call it guilt complexes. So I can see him... blaming himself, for being in that situation. Which is like blaming you for it, I guess...? Which... could be a reason for a lot of anger.

[selfpreservationist]

... yes. With... Urizen... it was my duty to clean up his mess. So I've always felt.

[rollplayinghouse]

Yeah. You feel like a lot of things are your duty.

[selfpreservationist]

Do you think I'm wrong?

[rollplayinghouse]

[leans her head against him]

Sometimes. You could be a little more selfish. But it's part of your charm.

[selfpreservationist]

I think I'm very selfish. I'm awfully greedy, you know. I want all of these things that should be out of my reach... and I don't care. I want beyond what's reasonable. I like to indulge myself. Doesn't that make me a selfish person?

[rollplayinghouse]

That makes you a person with ambition and desire. And maybe a little bit selfish, sure... But I'm selfish too, and I think that a lot of what you think is "reasonable" or "out of your reach" is just wrong. You still hold yourself back, and you feel guilty for going as far as you do. You're feeling guilty about it right now.

[selfpreservationist]

Only if it hurts someone I care about.

[rollplayinghouse]

[...]

...Mm, well, obviously you need to be careful about that kind of thing. I'm bad at that too, so maybe I'm not the best judge... I'm just telling you how I see it.

[selfpreservationist]

[shifts so he's laying on his side with his head in her lap. this is the "pet me" position.]

I'll be more selfish, then.

[rollplayinghouse]

[blinks, and then smiles faintly and strokes his hair]

Good.