imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

I mean... do you want company, though?

I hate being alone even more than I hate music.

-- But people seem to want to be alone after the last game, so. I'm trying not to push. [ Definitely thinking about a few specific people but trying not to sound like it. ]

Naw, I'm good to hang out.

I mean, if you are?

Being alone kidna sucks.

It does.

[ ...But. ] I'm bad at dancing around things, I'm sure you've noticed. So if you don't want to talk about the game, just tell me now.

I don't want to talk about the game.

[It's - almost in a rush, honestly. It comes out so quickly he looks surprised by the words, himself]

Edited 2022-01-08 22:20 (UTC)

[A beat, and then another, and then he manages to add:]

I mean, it's just... what's there to talk about?

It was nice, but it was just a dream.

-- oh. Okay. I'll do my best. [ This is probably better, trying to get even more personal after the intensely personal thing that was sounds like a recipe for very one-sided interactions. ]

...Can I just ask if Nemesis is going to be okay, eventually? She told me to pretty much leave her alone, so. I'm doing that.

She... gets like that, after rough games.

She usually wants room to work through it some. She'll be in a better spot today, probly, if you wanna hit her up.

[ At first she glances up, a bit hopeful maybe? But just as quickly it vanishes. ]

I'm trying to respect her wishes. She knows how to find me.

[ So, you know, aggressively moving on. ] And you? Better today, or...?

I mean... better than I was?

Better is... well. Better. I'm glad.

What is it you're up to out here?

Was running through a couple routines.

And you were practicing, yeah? You come out here a lot?

Routines, huh. Training's what I usually do out here too. I'm not planning to make a habit of playing this thing. The other night was just helping a friend, and I figure since I have it...

[ Excuses excuses. Whatever, trauma works in mysterious ways. ]

Well... don't push youself if you ain't feeling it, okay?

No reason to force yourself.

That's nice of you, but -- it helps. Pushing. Focusing on one thing. If I'm not doing that, I'm all restless and twitchy.

Maybe it's just me, but relaxing doesn't really do anything but make me think too much about things I'd rather not think about.

Yeah... yeah. I get that.

I try and stay busy, too, usually.

Really? -- I mean, I believe you, it's just that you always seem like you're in such a good mood.

But I guess pretty much everyone is better at hiding things like that than I am.

Edited 2022-01-08 23:29 (UTC)

I mean... stuff sucks sometimes, but I don't want that to stop me from having what fun I can have, in between the stuff that sucks. Y'know?

I can't argue with good advice like that. But part of me still would.

Oh yeah? How do you mean?

Just what I said. I can't control my feelings, or hide them very well. Even when I'm happy, part of me is always arguing that I shouldn't be. I sort of thought that was universal.

I mean...maybe not universal.

But more common than you'd think, around here.

I guess it would be. Most people do a good job hiding it, or at least better. I'll work on it.

How come?

You don't gotta hide what you're feeling.

[ She laughs, but it's humorless. ]

I absolutely do. Trust me.

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