imeeji_frontstage | Broacasted memories catchall post

Ya could just try to imagine somethin' that makes you real upset.

[ just kind of stares at him like he either doesn't know what that even would be

or like he does vaguely know but doesn't know how to externalize that

one of the two ]

Uhh ... like ... if your favorite dog died or somethin'.

. . . Why did my dog die?

S'not real, yer s'posed to imagine it.

But -

[ troubled, touching his cheek ]

Let's say for example my dog died a peaceful death, after being plagued of illness. Certainly, it would be sad, but would it not be best that my dog was able to find peace? If my dog died in an accident, then that would certainly be something to mourn for - but, ah, if I have a favorite dog, then does that not mean I have multiple dogs? Is it really fair to have a favorite?

[ uhhh ]

Even if you have a buncha dogs ain't one of 'em dying pretty sad? You'd love 'em, right?

. . . It would be. If I have them, then I'm certain that . . . no, even if I did not own any dogs, I'm certain that I would love them. So - it would be sad, certainly, no matter what.

[ pensive, mournful but not like, breaking apart over this ]

Ya think that'd make ya sad enough to fake a breakdown?

. . . Ah. . .

[ taking a breath, exhaling as he considers ]

. . . What would a breakdown . . . look like?

Uhh ... Cryin', freakin' out, that type of stuff?

. . . . Mm, perhaps it's just that I can't really picture having a dog in the first place. . . ?

Well -- have ya made any friends here?

Friends?

[ like this is the first time he's even heard the word in his life ]

I don't think so.

[ well, ]

Do ya ... like anyone here? Your unitmate?

If it's a matter of like, I like everyone here. My unitmates, too.

So would ya be all torn up if they died?

. . . In some sort of tragedy - ?

Iunno, some freak accident.

[ quiet, visibly looking more distressed as he looks down, jaw clenching ]

. . . Why . . . didn't I die then, too. . . ?

-- Hey, hey, this is all just in yer imagination, right?

[ finally finding a chair, moving to put Luci down in it ]

But that's the kinda thing ya might find inspiration from. Imaginin' what might happen if they all got hurt.

- mm, that's right.

[ with a pause, as he tucks his skirt a bit and then brings his hands up to fiddle with his hair ]

Imagining it is - painful. Those emotions, I understand to be the foundation of a breakdown. But, how to put it . . . "freaking out" is . . . perhaps - beyond me. . . ?

[ he says that though his eyes are a little glassy, tears welling up ]

-- hey, hey. Ya don't need to worry about it. I bet your team can help ya out.

[ a bit guiltily for bringing it up in the first place, awkwardly patting Luci's knee as he goes to his own knees. ]

Now, let's take a look at those kicks of yours.

[ with a little nod, offering up his shoes to him. they're cute and pink and high heeled and padlocked! how fun ]

Perhaps. Ah, what were you planning on doing. . . ?

Good question. Well - - first we oughtta see what these are made of.

[ he takes one padlock in hand, feeling it - - actual metal or something imitating it?]

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