Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[syckophant]

Now that that's established...

How am I supposed to marry him with this kind of a ceremony?

[unskippablecutscene]

Not up to standard? Well, it wasn't meant to be serious. But if you'd like, perhaps we can arrange a real sort of ceremony with more advance warning.

[syckophant]

Ha! I was expecting to have to do it myself.

[unskippablecutscene]

Well they do say if you want something done right... But I'm sure if you asked everyone on baritones would want to help.

[syckophant]

Mmmhh, that's part of my fear.

[unskippablecutscene]

Yet you look a little pleased.

[syckophant]

... It's a little nice, knowing they'd want to help. But also, they take teasing too far sometimes. I'd really like to be tethered to my loves forevermore, and while it should be a fun and happy occasion, I'd really want for it to have some dignity too.

And yet I also realize they tease me as a sign of affection. I can't help but appreciate that.

[unskippablecutscene]

I think if you make it known you'd like it serious they'd do their best to oblige.

[Thinks about ruby.]

Mostly.

[syckophant]

Mmmhh, I doubt it.

[He shrugs.]

But I fear I might need to enlist some help, and I can't really ask my partners, can I?

[unskippablecutscene]

Do you mean to surprise them? I would have thought they would wish to be involved, given the nature of the thing. But mayhap that isn't their way.

[syckophant]

Ah!

...I'd have to ask them first...! But... Also, I want to treat them. I want them to not have to worry about anything, let me do it... But they might insist.

[unskippablecutscene]

You would know best, and I imagine they'll appreciate the sentiment, but asking would seem prudent lest you get yourself in trouble.

[syckophant]

[Sighs.]

Of course. Proposals are so fraught, though.

[unskippablecutscene]

Wait, are you not yet engaged?

[syckophant]

That's a simple question with some very complicated answers.

[unskippablecutscene]

I'm all ears.

[syckophant]

You look like you're mostly human, actually.

[That's a joke!]

All you need to know is that they belong to me, and I belong to them.

[unskippablecutscene]

Ha, fair enough.

[syckophant]

Where I'm from, I couldn't really marry them. Because we are all male, and because there are more than two of us. I do like the idea of it, though.

[unskippablecutscene]

That's an issue in your society? Seems narrowminded. I'm glad you have the chance in hell then.

[syckophant]

.....Yeah.

I suppose it is. That's how things are, though. When people don't know how things work, they try to find out what is 'right' or 'wrong', and sometimes they miss the mark. Things were getting better, though! It is just hard to get everyone to agree.

[unskippablecutscene]

I'm not going to cast stones. I'm sure my world has its own backward views.

I'm glad things were improving though.

[syckophant]

I imagine that every group of people is liable to have some things wrong. None of us are correct all of the time about everything.

[unskippablecutscene]

It would be nice if that were the case somewhere though. Or perhaps insufferable?

[syckophant]

...In some ways. If you are part of that group, it'd be nice, but if you were on the outside, quite insufferable. Do you think it's even possible? To be objectively correct on morality and such?