Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[crimeson]

Eh?

[eyeballing him. this guy seems like a combatant, so it might make sense...]

You remember me, huh?

[honoring]

Not very well, but-- yes, Instructor Randolph.

[crimeson]

...Sorry, who?

[honoring]

[Looks him dead in the eyes.]

You, Instructor.

[crimeson]

I... really don't think I'm teacher material. You sure I don't have a twin?

[honoring]

I would not be so quick to assume there is anything remontely "normal" about our school.

[crimeson]

What's it like, then? My name is Randolph...?

[honoring]

I know a few things about it.

For starters-- it is a military school... and one that is not perceived very fondly.

Second, it employs extremely complex giant robots for combat purposes. Ones that students are permitted to use.

...and yes. Your name is Randolph. However, if you'd prefer, I can use your last name instead.

[crimeson]

Giant... robots.

So you're fucking with me, yeah?

[honoring]

Yes. I came all this way to "fuck" with you.









Please try to take this a little more seriously Instructor.

[crimeson]

You're the one talking about giant robots!!

[honoring]

Because that's what they are!!

[crimeson]

WHY THOUGH?!

[honoring]

HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?!

[crimeson]

THEN WHY EVEN BRING IT UP?!

[honoring]

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME ABOUT THE SCHOOL!!

[Okay. Take a breath. Calm... calm down. This is fine. It's fine.]

...I can't help it that this is the sort of school that Thor's Military Academy is. For some reason I chose to go there, to the branch campus. And as a result, met you.

[crimeson]

I really cannot stress enough that I'm not teacher material. I'm a Jaeger.

[honoring]

I mentioned it already, didn't I? No one seems to take the branch campus very seriously.

And at least from what I've seen, I can't find any faults in your teaching.

It is a military school after all.

[crimeson]

...I mean sure, logically I could teach at a military school, but my life would've had to change a lot for that...

This is all pretty surreal.

[honoring]

My apologies. It wasn't my intention to spring all of that on you so suddenly. You're the first person I've met that I've seen before in my memories and I-- got ahead of myself.

[crimeson]

...

[scratches the back of his head.]

S'fine. Don't worry about it.

[honoring]

Thank you. I should at least introduce myself properly.

...Kurt Vander. Or Lancelot, of avante en garde.

[crimeson]

[offers Lance his hand.]

Grand Marnier, or Marnie. At least for now. I might start going by the names Zrael gave me.

[honoring]

[He takes it, shaking his hand while he thinks that through.]

Wait, did you change units then?

[crimeson]

Yep. I was on Baritones a few months ago, but they transferred me out and back in onto Zrael.