Pre-Endgame

[idolpro]

[The Elevator spills you out into the Main Tower. However, it's currently locked so you can't actually get out quite yet.

On your phones, you'll see a line stating "Results Pending". Seems you gotta wait a little longer though you might wanna check on your pals anyway!

I imagine someone is bleeding probably.]

Comments

[inspiteful]

I don't plan on feeling guilty. I'm already one of the people who keep saying "don't die" on this unit.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Good. I'm tired of correctly predicting when you and yours are going to bite it.

For once, this game was a pleasant surprise.

[inspiteful]

To be honest, I think at least some of us are pretty sick of eating dirt too.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

...

Were you there for the castle game? The one where you could gift resources to each other.

[inspiteful]

Yeah. I was the one who argued against them trying to send all of our resources to pep, even.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Oh.

That probably didn't go over well]

And how did the others take it?

[inspiteful]

King was instantly furious, but that wasn't surprising, at least. He pretty much told us he'd pick Yugi over us before that.

Almost everyone else tried to argue with me about saving them from themselves, basically. Hiryuu even tried to suggest that maybe they had just more or less given up and lieddown to die, which -- I should have been more firm, but they didn't give me the impression of being that sort of people. Prim was the one to try and suggest a compromise by only sending some instead of all.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Pep had been suffering from survivor's guilt for weeks if not months. When I saw the score, I thought it was obvious what they were doing.

But as for Heart Soldier---

If they had to play it all over again, do you think they would make the same choices?

[inspiteful]

Well, they figured out pep was throwing themselves into the loss, they just insisted on saving them anyway. ...Cobalt and I talked about the sort of thing before and -- I figured, at least it would be their choice. If someone else died trying to 'save' them they'd just feel worse. But no, no one fucking listened, and what I said would happen ended up happening.

And...honestly, I don't know. [ he just sounds so tired. ]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

I'm not sure they would. But ultimately, you can speak to it more than I.

Ultimately, I think your unit finally has the momentum to put the pendulum in motion. Now comes the unsavory task of trying to get it to stop it in a place where all of you can make choices without regret.

[inspiteful]

I guess...a lot of them wouldn't, if only because of what a godsdamned mess everything was afterwards.

I'm not sure 'without regret' is possible for this unit.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

...

What do you think the key issue was for you?

That they prioritized other people over their own unitmates? Or they didn't know when to abandon a sinking ship?

I ask because in that same game, I put my own unit at risk trying to save another.

[inspiteful]

[ ...He's almost afraid to ask, but -- ]

Was it us?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Don't give me that look.

Future is Now has no interest in dying for anyone's sake. But we're also data driven.

[This is actually not true]

So a calculated risk here or there is not unheard of as long as we are in agreement.

[inspiteful]

I get that, but you're not actually answering the question, Intensity.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Neither did you.

[inspiteful]

[ Tmw you call each other out. Eclipse sighs. ]

It was both, really. More the first one than the second one, the second one kind of felt like rubbing salt onto the wound? I'd talk to Cobalt about some things before, so I wasn't...exactly surprised at what pep was doing. And I told myself I didn't want to add on to that guilt if I could ever help it.

...Some time before that game, Heart Soldier basically agreed that if I was in a game with them, they'd try to play to survive? Then...this game happened, we were at a total of four resources in the so-called 'danger round', I was right there in front of them, and still they immediately jumped to wanting to sacrifice everything for pep, when it was the last thing pep wanted. And argued with me when I said "no".

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Which boils down to the root of Heart Soldier's problems, doesn't it? Priorities.

I admit that I still don't understand it. The assertion to say that all people and all relationships are equal when there is a priority and a rank to everything. Especially in how the producers set up these games.

But Silence tried to explain it to me like this.

[Since Intensity has the emotional depth of a teaspoon]

Some people are ashamed of the choices that they are forced to make. They don't want to accept that they have to be cruel to people that they care about. And considering the Heart Soldier brigade that went storming the castle after God, it's obvious you are important to them. However.

[And here he is trying to remember Silence's exact wording]

They still want to seem friendly and trusting — they want to keep their friends in spite of the decisions they make. It is cowardly, not deceptive.

Whether or not you agree with that logic -- whether the distinction matters -- is up to you.

[inspiteful]

[ Give him a moment Intensity, because Eclipse seems to be having one himself. As if something he said made Eclipse realise something, and he isn't sure how to feel about it.

...In the end, Prim was the only one to tell him that he had a point...

"It's obvious you are important to them." Somehow, it's both a relief to hear that and yet he can't help but feel like it's some joke, too. Why only now? Why not sooner? Because he got murdered? Was it because there was someone they could clearly hate, an undeniable perpetrator? There's no guilt to be felt there, huh?

But they kept playing three cards even when Hurricane was practically throwing a tantrum, and for once they agreed that this time, they shouldn't just roll over and die? Yet somehow it still feels like it's his fault somehow, like some of them are just begrudgingly trying to respect his wishes. Maybe they wish he wasn't --

...Gods, this is too much to deal with right now. Gotta focus on what's right in front of him at the moment. ]

...For me, they're related. People live with cowardice by telling themselves lies, you know?

And...I don't get why some of them insist on acting as if every relationship is equally important to them, when it's clear they have priorities themselves. Or I do, I guess, but that's a good way to drive a person insane.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

How many important relationships do you have off unit?

If that's not too personal a question coming from your boss.

[inspiteful]

Ah, well...quite a few, really. But you can still count them with only both hands.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Any you would die for?

[inspiteful]

...

[There's a pretty long pause, as he seriously considers this.]

No. Getting murdered 'cause someone wanted to get at C doesn't count, either.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Then I imagine something like that is going to be foreign and hard to relate to. If you’ve never experienced it yourself.

[inspiteful]

Mm, well...I think I might have felt like that for someone who isn't here, but nonetheless...

It's just that I'm pretty sure if I died for any of them, they'd probably be, ah. Pretty upset about it.