imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

... alright... if you're sure.

I'm sure.

[And he's digging his phone out to play a memory.]

[...he goes kind of still, somewhere in the middle of it.]

[ ... eugh

just stays quiet, giving him a moment once that's over, but still leaning warmly. ]

[...his eyes track somewhere to the side, along the line where the floor meets the wall, and stay there so they don't have to meet Requiem's eyes.]

... hey.

[ softly. ]

I get it.

...yeah.

[Leans back, just kind of. Quiet, and thoughtful, and pale.]

[After a beat or two, he sinks down a little, so he can rest his head on her shoulder.]

[ circles her arm around his back, rubbing his opposite arm.

she stays quiet for a bit longer before saying, ]

... obviously my dad was more of just... y'know, an idiot, instead of being...

...

She seemed miserable. I'm sorry.

...she was okay? She just - had stuff to do, is all.

We coulda been done if I kept it together better, so - makes sense she was pissed.

[ pulls away from him a bit. ]

Hey. Look at me.

[It takes him a second or two to listen. He still doesn't quite meet her eyes, even then.]

Yeah?

[ cups his cheeks in both hands ]

No matter what she was going through, it's not on you to take care of things. Okay?

... parents should put their own needs second, if their kids are suffering. Even if it's "just" being a little sick or something.

[ and that was more than "a little sick" ]

'S not like I didn't know what I was signing up for.

Sides, she's got more important stuff to worry about. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up, is all. And I kinda dropped the ball this time.

That's not really the point.

... my dad sucks, but it's not because he's overbearing or anything. It's cuz he didn't like-- prioritize me, y'know? Your mom's done the same junk, it looks like.

[ letting him go, crossing her arms with a frown. ]

There isn't anything more important than your own kids. There shouldn't be.

[Just kind of. Shrugs?]

Sometimes there is.

... shouldn't be anything that needs a kid to step up cuz an adult can't handle it themselves.

I don't got all the details yet.

...but I know I was doing it for her.

[ quiet for a moment. ]

Well... you love her, right? She's your mom.

Yeah.

S'why it sucks when she needs me to do something and I'm just, like - acting like a coward, or can't get it together, or whatever.

I'm just sayin'... from someone in a similar position.

Sometimes they're just wrong. ... and it's okay to recognize that for what it is and still love them anyway. Any parent who thinks their kid is-- a coward, or useless, or anything... they're not a good parent, I think. And still loving them despite that is normal, I think... I love my dad too, even though he's... y'know.
...

I don't think someone like that deserves someone as good as you.

Your dad's different, though. Some of the stuff he pulled's just - it sucks. You can't trick someone like that, into doing what you want em to do, after they told you no. It sucks. You shouldn't have to put up with that.

My mom's just... right about stuff. She's just calling it like she sees it.

[He opens his mouth, like he wants to say something else - closes it instead, and bites down on his lip, and glances aside.]

Yeah, but... it's just as bad, is all I'm saying. Being tricked into it, or doing it willingly for their benefit with-- no acknowledgement. Or worse, contempt.

[ ... nudges him gently. ]

Go on?

S'nothing. Just - I'm not that good, is all.

Maybe if I did better, she... I dunno. She'd be happier.

[ settles her arm back around him. ]

You can't set yourself on fire to make other people warm, dude. And if someone doesn't wanna be happy then-- you can't force them to be, no matter what you try.

... if she wasn't happy with you being her kid as-is, that's her problem. Not yours.

...sure felt like my problem.

[After a beat or two, though, he does kind of lean into the arm around him, a little.]

[ softly, squeezing him gently ]

You think lots of things are your problem, though. Even when they ain't.