wuh woh

[idolpro]

Who: You! (unless you're WILD CITY!)
Where: Here!
When: Day 243, Evening

[ Wherever you are, your phone starts pinging you incessantly:

• CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!
  
  CLICK HERE TO RECEIVE YOUR PRIZE!

That . . . doesn't look safe! But you can't use your phone otherwise. Hm!

Eventually—whenever you click on it—you'll find yourself redirected to the Producer's channel on Dissonance, with the following new messages: ]
( wuh woh )

[ Players, please comment here with the number of previously owned abilities and which abilities you're switching out for! However, if you have all 6 abilities already, you do not need to comment here. Hiatused idols will receive the same experience when they return to the game. ]

WUH WOH

[idolpro]

Who: You! (If you're WILD CITY!)
Where: WILD CITY
When: Day 243, evening

[ Were you in the dorm before? If you weren't, you'll find yourself waking up in your bed—isn't that weird? What were you doing before?

. . . But, more importantly, it looks like your dorm is completely locked, as though there was a newbie—but look on your phone and you'll see . . .

Well, you can't actually see anything, because all that's on your phone is this:

• CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!
  
  CLICK HERE TO RECEIVE YOUR PRIZE!

( WUH WOH )

i don't wanna show off no more

[foolmetwice]

Who: Mars and YOU
Where: THE OLIVE GARDEN (rooftop)
When: day 243, evening

[okay so. . . an hour or so after the new unit abilities and lives are announced, this HSS BREAKS IN THE SHOW OFF LIVE with. . . Olive Garden!1]

HEY FAKE TOKYO, PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I'M SHOWING OFF RIGHT NOW!!

[so anyway Mars is once again standing on the rooftop of another building (this time the Olive Garden) because why not. he pans the camera of his phone onto this guy who is hovering silently next to him! he is decidedly human-sized instead of giant-sized and also is not carrying a rifle. it's fine]

That guy came from my soul. I think he's Satan? Satan. . . adjacent?? Satan-neal. Neal-Satan? Considering hell sucks and therefore Satan also probably sucks I shouldn't be excited about this, but it's so cool.

[. . .]

[the aibou is just floating there. and doing nothing]

-- well, he looks cool anyway. I wonder if he does anything cool? Come to the Olive Garden for points if you wanna see what cool things I can do with my Satan-adjacent-heart-monster guy.

[FINGERGUNS AT THE CAMERA]

[also the word u are looking for is "Persona," Mars]

Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))