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Who: Exael and the Unlucky Contestants
Where: The Game Tower
When: 86, Evening

[ Between one step and the next the walls (or streets, or open air) around you changes. The sight before you is a room inside the game tower, a new pressure at your neck. Reaching up or looking at the people around you reveals it to be a collar, titanium with a small green blinking light set in the center. ]

[ the screen flickers on, on your cellphone. It's a half-second, blink and you miss it— Exael, chewing on a nail, looking uncharacteristically nervous— then the moment's gone and she waves both hands and smiles for the camera. ]

"Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests! Units of all stripes and sizes! I come offering you a game and a few familiar words, rearranged for the occasion!"

Her carnival barker demeanor shifts for a moment as she lowers her head to say: ] "Glory to the highest, and on earth peace—" [ her head snaps up, her pigtails bouncing with it, and she's grinning again, all pomp and energy ] "even if we're not getting much down here! So let's kick up a ruckus, put on a show, and see how much good goodwill alone can manage! If you wish to save your fellows, now is the time speak!"

[ The rules appear on your phones. ]

[ Rules ] [ Rooms ] [ Results ] [ Endgame, Revivals & Winners ]

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[Lily's heart lurches in his chest, the guilt welling up once again. he was so, so close to convincing everyone that HSS needed their help... but he failed. he failed Mars. he needed him, then more than ever, and he failed.

but now was not the time to express those feelings. he wanted to be there for Mars, be a comfort, a calmness, and that's what he was going to do.]

It's not fair. It's like we're being punished for making friends.

[. . . it's like Lily takes the words right out of Mars's mouth]

Yeah.

[another pause]

But we knew they'd do that, eventually.

[or rather. . . Mars feared that they'd do it eventually. and that's why he tried to keep himself at a distance from the very moment he arrived. not that attempts at doing that worked]

[it definitely didn't work, given the fact he was currently cuddling Lily, his kiss friend, in bed]

...Yeah.

[he softly sighs, fingers curling into the fabric of Mars' shirt]

But if they're going to punish me for doing something, I'm going to do it even more.

...For spites sake.

[shhhh don't call him out!1]

[that comment, however, draws a wry laugh from Mars]

. . . yeah. Me too. But I'm known for being a spiteful asshole.

Then the further they try to drive us apart, the closer we can stick together.

[a pause]

That's cheesy as fuck, Lily.

Good. If we're going to whine, we need a little cheese.

[. . . LAUGHS, pressing his face a little closer to Lily's chest, arm draped across his waist]

You're pretty damn shameless.

[smiles gently, hand moving to gently stroke Mars' cheek.]

What's the fun in having shame?

[oh. . . warm fingers against his cheek. Mars feels heat gather on his face, and somehow he resists the urge to tilt his head into that warmth]

There isn't any, I guess.

[he, however, doesn't resist the urge to curl his fingers into the front of Lily's shirt. to keep him close, of course]

[and then there's a pause. a moment of silence that blankets over them, before Mars finally speaks]

. . . you know, games like this are why I didn't want to get close to anyone when I first got here.

[he closes his eyes for a moment during the pause of silence, enjoying the feeling of Mars being close to him, holding onto him, being here with him. but then he speaks, and he opens his eyes again, letting out a soft thoughtful hum.]

Mm. Can't get hurt if there's no one to hurt you.

But I think life would be rather lonely that way.

Edited 2019-02-20 01:59 (UTC)

Yeah.

[that's a fact he never denied]

. . . might be worth it, though.

[the pain of loneliness is, to some, easier to bear than the pain of loss]

"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".

...Or however that goes.

[after a moment, he elaborates:]

I think, with connections to others... that's when we truly grow. Become better people. Evolve, adapt... with the good, or the bad. Only by letting people in can we find new ways to be ourselves.

Loneliness is stifling, and brings pain and bitterness. I don't think you can learn from that pain. You'll never have the good, the positive, to hold onto when things are rough.

The unfortunate thing about this place is that it revolves around pain. But without others to help support you through that pain, I think it'd be too easy to become exactly the sort of person this place wants you to become — cold, heartless, shut off. I think... even if it feels like avoiding connections would be easier, produce less hurt, you'd be hurting more in the end through becoming a person you don't want to be.

...But that's just what I think.

[well. . . Mars doesn't really have an argument to counter any of that]

[his grip on Lily's shirt tightens, before burrowing himself against Lily's chest jjjjjust a bit more. but amidst it all, he doesn't say a word]

[that's alright, Lily understands. he holds Mars that much tighter, pressing another kiss against his hair before resting his chin on his head. his hand goes back to rubbing his back, the other cradling the back of Mars' head and gently twining his fingers through his hair. they can stay this way as long as he'd like.]

[. . . it's almost funny, how one doesn't even fully realize how much they wanted something until they have it. until there's the warmth of another person curled up next to them, dropping tiny little displays of affection as though it's the most natural thing in the world. Mars soaks it all up like a sponge-- especially in the wake of that goddamn game-- and tries his best not to think how weak this makes him feel]

[after a moment. . . he speaks up again]

Hey. . .

[but he trails off hesitantly, as though he isn't quite ready to finish that thought]

[Lily really, really likes Mars. like, a lot. so this truly all does come from the heart, come from a place of caring, and even without a Buddy Bond active, it's probably obvious enough in the way he holds him. his heart races just a little in his chest, betraying how happy he really is to be here despite the circumstances that lead to this moment, and he lets out a soft sigh of contentment. a warmth grows inside him, spreading throughout — for someone that remembers a childhood full of loneliness and rejection... having this moment of mutual acceptance is wonderful.]

Mm? What is it, Ren?

[his voice is soft, calm]

[Mars is not good with words. he never has been, and even if he has been getting slowly better at navigating relationships? there's no way he'll ever improve his verbal communications skills. but in a place like hell, that's okay]

[with a small breath in and out, something knocks against the warmth Lily is feeling right now. something soft and surprisingly gentle, warm and inviting, and yet somehow the tiniest bit hesitant all at once]

[hello friend, it's another Buddy Bond call, are u going to answer]

[you know he's gonna answer, kiss friend.

the first most apparent thing to come from Lily's end: a fondness and affection for Mars, and a curiosity as to what he was hoping to express to him through the bond]

[well]

[Mars doesn't feel things in halves]

[he's gotten far better at managing his emotions during a buddy bond, sure, but he doesn't feel things in halves. and as soon as that acceptance comes from Lily's end of the bond, it's met with an entire wave of overwhelming affection and fondness and gratitude. a small dash of confusion-- it's only been twenty days, how can I feel so strongly after such a short period of time-- but also a sense of. . . it doesn't matter. I don't care. I feel what I feel. that's that.]

[he probably wanted to say something along the lines of. . . "hey. i really like you." but couldn't bring himself to do so, because he sucks]

[the feelings hit him like a truck, and he soaks them up and lets them wash over him like a tidal wave. he's happy, almost perhaps even a little surprised — these sorts of feelings were a new land to traverse for him, but a place he's happy to explore.

those feelings of loneliness, of rejection... even though he had so many amazing people at his side, it still would rear its ugly head when he was alone, a nagging voice in the back of his head: what if he wasn't good enough? what if he wasn't deserving of care, if so much of his life was spent being rejected?

but he did deserve it. and he felt it coming from Mars, and it was overwhelming in the best sort of way. his fingers curl against the back of Mars' shirt, holding on tight, almost a little shaky.

if Mars didn't want to say it, now with the distinct sense that Mars wouldn't run if it were established... Lily would.]

Hey.

I like you.

. . . yeah.

[under normal circumstances, that would be a totally inappropriate response to someone saying, "I like you." but considering the emotional honesty buddy bond allows for? these circumstances aren't normal. and despite Mars's completely and utterly lackluster verbal reply, Lily will be able to feel a distinct sense of. . .]

[hm]

[that feeling one gets when their stomach does a little flip of pleased nervousness. that light and pleased emotion one has when they know someone they care about feels the same way. the quiet knowledge that just being in that person's presence is enough to wash away every bad thing that just happened in the past twenty-four hours]

[in a way, perhaps all of this is way way better than Lily getting a simple "I like you, too" in return]

[Lily certainly knows Mars well enough by now to know that he isn't good at words — that's why they're using the Buddy Bond right now, isn't it? so he knows there's more to it when he gets that simple reply, and he's not disappointed in the feelings he receives from Mars' end. it's touching that he means something to Mars, is a calming presence... that's as much as he could hope for, really.

Lily's heart is a-flutter, quite pleased. he doesn't need verbal confirmation when he can so clearly feel that Mars feels the same, and that's more than enough for him. this is the happiest he's ever been in this place... and the fact that he could be so happy in Hell was amazing in its own right. no matter the circumstances, no matter the hardship... one can always find a place to call their own.

he can feel his heart lurching up his throat, and he swallows. he was just... really, really happy. he almost felt like he might overflow with all this emotion, which was a new and weird feeling for him. he reaches out to gently hook his fingers under Mars' chin, trying to guide him to look upwards. if he does, he'll be greeted with a soft kiss, gentle — he knew Mars could already feel what he was feeling through their mental bond, but he wanted him to feel what he was feeling through a physical connection, too.]

[there's something addicting about Lily's happiness. something that makes Mars himself happy, too. something that washes away his frustrations and exhaustion, his fear and hesitancy, and brings out an emotion he knows he doesn't feel very often at all. happiness of his own]

[so of course he tilts his head up when Lily tucks his hand under his chin. of course he lets his eyes slip shut as lips brush up against his, soft and gentle. and of course he leans into that, reciprocating quietly and chastely, scooting as close to Lily as he can get on this tiny, single-person bed]

[happiness, giddiness, contentedness. . . Mars can't remember the last time he felt these emotions. he wonders if he's capable of feeling them on his own, without Lily's encouragement]

[Lily has the utmost faith in Mars. sometimes all you need is a little guidance to find something you've lost, a helping hand; Mars was perfectly capable of feeling those things on his own, surely, but maybe all it'd take was a little help from Lily to remember those things were well within his grasp, too. but if it was hard for him to reach out and find those feelings on his own, he'd happily be there to remind him, always.

one hand curls around Mars' waist while the other gently cups his face, thumb stroking along his cheekbone — his hands are a bit shaky with nerves, but that's okay. for now, he keeps the kiss gentle, sweet — his own eyes are half lidded so he can keep looking at Mars somewhat through the veil of his lashes, a distinct and overwhelming feeling of adoration and endearment washing over him. a soft happy noise escapes his lips; he definitely didn't feel this way about anyone else, and traversing new emotional territory was always a little scary, but if it was Mars there beside him, he felt like it'd be okay. if one of them stumbled, the other would be there to catch them. that's how this sort of thing went, right?]