imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Idols!
Where: Anywhere!
When: 504

[ It's a new day! Hopefully, you're feeling a little less zappy, jelly-like, and zany. And if you're not? Maybe that's the perfect excuse for ✨memories✨. ]

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Then it's probably not a good idea to ask someone else to put their life on the line for you, huh?

I mean... I can still ask. Some people are just that selfless and as for me... some people are just that selfish.

The few people that I really do like here don't... deserve that though, so maybe I'm going soft or sane or I don't know. I don't think I have my connection to the demon at this very moment, so perhaps that's why I feel this way. I really don't think I would have cared otherwise.

Does your connection to the demon kill your natural ability to feel empathy?

I think it's been fizzling out for a while, but getting a demon best friend definitely didn't help.

Did you lose faith in people or something?

Yeah, kind of...

What happened? Or is it something you'd rather not say?

I don't remember all the details. Just bits and pieces. Like things beforehand... but there are so many gaps... and then these really bad feelings, and that's what lead me to summon the demon.

So it was an intentional summoning...

Oh, yeah, absolutely. [ nod nod nod. ]

At least there's that. So that just leaves the question of what drove you to that point...

And that's the part I don't have a clue about. All of my memories seem to be blocking the source of it out.

Think your mind repressed it due to trauma?

It's kind of seeming like that. If that's the case then, I'm... not sure how to get the answers I want.

Although... maybe it's best that I stop trying. Clearly whatever I'm searching for really fucked me up...

If you're okay with languishing in ignorance, I suppose...

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