normal man returns

[darkroastbean]

Who: AlcheMe!
Where: Alch dorms
When: Day 454 Afternoon

[P is BACK from working at HELL STARBUCKS and bursting/stumbling thru the doors]


What the hell happened? I couldn't even call to check on anyone because my voicemail is full!! Where is I??

Comments

[darkroastbean]

No you won't! Did you break your phone??

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

It slipped. So F kindly let me borrow his.

[darkroastbean]

Uh huh. How drunk were you guys. Did you really think I was dead??

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

No, but I could hope.

[darkroastbean]

Too bad. Do you know how much memory your stupid messages ate up? I thought something real bad had happened!

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

[Sizes back up since escape isn’t possible at this moment]

Why would I care how much memory it took up? You’re dead anyways. What do you need memory for?

[darkroastbean]

BECAUSE--

[STOMPS TOWARD IN BALLS


slips and faceplants in a deeper part of the pit

COMPOSES]

--because I wasn't dead, I was just working! You seriously had me worried!

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

[Watching this unfold and not moving to help]

Worried? About what?

[darkroastbean]

I get now that you guys were drunk but I thought you might have been in some kind of bad game, and that's why you were rambling! Also I didn't want you to fill my room with funeral stuff or whatever.

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

You might not want to look in your room then.

[darkroastbean]

I already saw the tubing and you're lucky I already gave F permission for you guys to go in and out of the prop room anyway! But there better not be any caskets.

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

If there’s a casket assume it wasn’t me then.

[Sinks into the ball put more]

[darkroastbean]

[SLOSHES THRU BALLS TO TRY AND PULL HIM UP]

Why are you running away?

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

[Allowing this to happen but sure not making it easier]

That depends, why aren't you apologizing?

[darkroastbean]

[AGGRESSIVELY...DRAGS....]

How am I supposed to apologize if you won't even look at me?! Dammit, you're heavier than I thought--!

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

It's the weight of living.

[darkroastbean]

Did you eat a depression cupcake or something?

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

I got a memory. I assume it's basically the same thing.

[darkroastbean]

Yeah, you mentioned that in one of the messages. Though I also recall you saying you weren't gonna tell me about it!

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

Where were you anyways?

[darkroastbean]

[Dragging to ballpit steps!!!]

I got recruited to work at some dumb coffee shop for what I think was a movie, it was kind of vague. I didn't get paid for it at all, and didn't even know how much time had went by til I got back! It's probably what happened to Y and the others, too.

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

[Letting himself be dragged to shore like the weirdest episode of passive aggressive Baywatch]

It sounds like you had a terrible time....good.

[darkroastbean]

It wouldn't have been so bad if demon customer service didn't suck so much. Anyway, sorry for worrying you guys. You didn't have to blow up my phone though, I thought you guys were going through some shit.

[morelikefakespeareamirite]

[Stands up finally and wades through the balls the rest of the way, climbing out of the pit]

I didn't have to...but I also didn't intend to worry you. I thought it might be annoying.

[darkroastbean]

Oh, now you can walk! And rest assured, it was very annoying. I couldn't get any messages from anyone else because of you.