non wholesome poll time

[send_noods]

Who: everyone
Where: hotel lobby
When: 322 noonish




[Gladio's ringing a handbell town crier style in the hotel lobby]

Come get your points! Sweet, easy poll points!

Poll #25163 bored

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 42

View Respondents

Are you a monsterfucker?

View Answers

yes
18 (42.9%)

no
6 (14.3%)

it's complicated
5 (11.9%)

POINTS
16 (38.1%)

Comments

[selfpreservationist]

Not knowing what you want?

[rollplayinghouse]

Knowing what you want. It can be difficult to figure that out, sometimes, I mean.

[selfpreservationist]

... do you struggle with that?

[rollplayinghouse]

...Not as much lately. But it was one of my main problems for a long time.

And I still do some.

[selfpreservationist]

[Vraven "95% desire 5% murder hobo" mcsparda is struggling to relate]

I see...

[rollplayinghouse]

...It's not that I don't obviously want things. It's that it can be hard to identify what they are. There are so many things I've never had, and a lot of them I had no reason to even think about. So I just... feel like I'm missing things. Like I want more. But I don't know what would fulfill that, or how to get it.

[selfpreservationist]

... I suppose I have a similar problem... I just approach it differently. I've always wanted things... too many things, perhaps. And sometimes they contradict each other. Or... I don't think about what will happen if I take what I desire, I just seek it out anyway. And that can lead to problems.

[rollplayinghouse]

...I don't know if it's the same. My problems don't come when I actually take what I want, since... well, mostly I can't.

[quiet for a moment]

I mean, it's not like I don't try. I'm not very good at restraining myself if there's something I know I want to accomplish, whether that's something I personally want or anything else. But it seems like usually it's impossible, or... I'm doing it wrong...

[selfpreservationist]

... are you worried about something like that, right now?

[rollplayinghouse]

[another pause]

...A little bit. Not nearly as much as in the past. There have been a bunch of things I have managed to get, so I feel like I'm getting better at it. Or I've just been luckier lately.

Right now there's more of the other thing, I think. It's like... mm, you know when someone asks "do you want a hug?" and you realize that, yes, you desperately do, even if that wasn't a thing you could identify until exactly that moment? It's that feeling. Or, the feeling beforehand. Definitely... wanting, but not knowing what, and so not able to do anything about it...

[selfpreservationist]

... and no one's asked you about the thing you want, so it's not immediately obvious.

[rollplayinghouse]

Yeah, exactly. Maybe it would even be easy to get, if I could tell what it was...

[selfpreservationist]

...

Is it a hug? Because I can definitely give you a hug.

[rollplayinghouse]

[a short huff, not quite a laugh]

It's a little... larger scale than a hug, I think.

Though I would take a hug.

[selfpreservationist]

Of course.

[he pulls her into a gentle hug]

I... could use one too.

[rollplayinghouse]

[she wraps her arms around him, firmer though not crushing, and some of the tension in her body eases as she leans her head against his shoulder]

...Sometimes I feel like... because I seem calm, people assume I'm fine. Or at least that I'm better off than people who are obviously a disaster, so those people need whatever more. And, I mean, I don't know their minds, so maybe they do. But I don't feel fine. I feel like I'm just... keeping things under control.

There's no reason for someone to think I need something if I'm not showing it at all, though, so that's not their fault...

[selfpreservationist]

[rubs her back, feeling the fabric under his fingertips]

... it's not always easy to ask for help.

[rollplayinghouse]

[quieter]

It's not like I want to handle things on my own. I'd love to ask for help more. But I don't even notice there's something that help could help with, half the time. I'm still not used to it even being an option, I think.

[selfpreservationist]

... well. If nothing else, you have a family now... and family is supposed to be there for one another, are we not?

[rollplayinghouse]

[lifts her head enough to smile at him faintly]

They are. And you are there for me. I'm really happy about that. Sometimes I do notice, and I'll talk to Nero, or you, or Vergil...

[selfpreservationist]

[he smiles back]

I should hope between the three of us, we're some help.

[rollplayinghouse]

You're always a lot of help, when I manage to ask for it.

[selfpreservationist]

... so are you. I feel like I rely on you a lot.

[rollplayinghouse]

W-Well, I'm... really happy to be able to be there for you.

[selfpreservationist]

[presses his lips to her temple]

However frail and damaged my heart may be, it finds solace with yours.