Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[devilmightcare]

I wasn't. I - - just got a little occupied with somethin'.

[selfpreservationist]

... when I heard what had happened to sensitIV, I... became concerned. But I know something like that wouldn't keep you down for long, so I... assumed...

[rubs the back of his neck]

[devilmightcare]

[ Oh No ]


Okay. Okay -- if I tell you what I think happened, you gotta promise not to make a big deal over it.

[selfpreservationist]

What you "think" happened?

[devilmightcare]

Iiii think I got drugged and someone ate bits of me??

[selfpreservationist]

[what the fuck]

[devilmightcare]

[ waves his hand ]

Mighta been because they were under an effect or something. Like I said, I don't want it to be a big deal!

Buuut that's why I was outta commission for a little bit.

[selfpreservationist]

[moving so he's all up in dante's business now, tapping his chest with the handle of his cane]

Someone drugged you and ate you.

[devilmightcare]

[ stands!! still!! he's not afraid of your CANE TAPPING ]

Yup, that's what I said.

[selfpreservationist]

... do you have any idea who was responsible?

[devilmightcare]

Not a clue!

[selfpreservationist]

Liar.

[devilmightcare]

I told you, I don't wanna make a big deal out of it.

[selfpreservationist]

I'm not going to seek revenge on your behalf. I want to avoid someone who would do that at all costs.

[devilmightcare]

[ hrmmghghgh ]

... Well -- Ruby invited me out for a drink, but she was actin' weird. And I'm pretty sure she passed out too. So someone else mighta set her up.

[selfpreservationist]

Ruby... that nuisance on Baritones? I see.

[devilmightcare]

... You're not gonna do anything, right?

[selfpreservationist]

What could I do? There would be no point.

[devilmightcare]

I dunno! Just wanted to be sure. You looked real menacing for a second there.

[selfpreservationist]

Oh, I'm not happy about it. If things were different, I'd douse them in alcohol, burn them alive, and let Shadow feed on their roasted carcass. See how they like being on someone's menu.

[devilmightcare]

[ .. okay, he can't help but smile a little at that, wry ]

Already thought it out that much, huh?

[selfpreservationist]

What of it?

[devilmightcare]

I'm touched.

[selfpreservationist]

[taps his cane under dante's chin, pushing it up]

Is that so?

[devilmightcare]

[ he raises his hand, grabbing the cane but not moving to push it away ]

It's almost like you care about me!