Live triple threat!

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Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[tradesecret]

[ I don't know what that is, but it is most likely far ]

It keeps the fans busy. Ah, on that note, sometimes they produce fanmail of idols here paired with faceless or unattractive mob characters, so I suppose attractiveness isn't that much of a factor.

The loins thirst for what they thirst for.

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[Exactly the same as a mile in bullshit fantasy land]

Goodness. I'll keep that in mind and not be so shocked when it's my turn. Thank you for the warning.

[tradesecret]

It is my pleasure. Or rather, seeing your reaction will be my pleasure.

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Shall I play it up?

[tradesecret]

Thank you, but accommodating me isn't necessary. I can feel your discomfort in my heart. That is enough.

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You sadism warms me.

[tradesecret]

I can assure you, it comes from a place of sincere affection.

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I'm certain.

[tradesecret]

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll need to demonstrate to a new ☆zrael idol how to properly do a monologue.

[ Goes over to Marnie and throws down a mass proposal in what is clearly a flex in both acting and improvisation.

that ☆ was properly pronounced. ]

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[Whistles.]

[tradesecret]

I don't enjoy one upping people at their own Lives, but when there's too much room left open for it, I cannot help myself.

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I would never dream compete with you at this sort of thing.

[tradesecret]

But I want you to. If you've taken on the role of a host, it is your responsibility to carry it out to the fullest.

[unskippablecutscene]

Ah, but my flippancy is my charm point, my dear. Such earnestness is best left to those who can carry it.

[tradesecret]

But throwing oneself into a role is part of the fun.