Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[crimeson]

They asked me to propose in the first place!!

[sancrimony]

Well, then maybe you're doing it wrong!

[crimeson]

...Okay that one seems pretty likely.

[sancrimony]

Do you have the proper equipment? A ring, perhaps flowers—the atmosphere is important too, so maybe a crowd like this makes it hard for people to enjoy it.

[crimeson]

...

Maybe you should show me how to do it right.

[sancrimony]

[ just like

freezes up a little ]

—Ah?

[crimeson]

I was just thinkin' you have a much better idea of how that kind of thing should go than me.

[sancrimony]

. . . Uhm . . .

[ . . . ]

Well, I'm not an expert or anything . . .

[crimeson]

...I'm just jokin' around. Don't worry about it.

[sancrimony]

—oh!

[ hahah! it's just a joke! joke! marriage is just a joke! proposals are just jokes! hahahahaHAHAHAHA KILL HIM no that's LITERALLY not what's happening and that is FUCKING INSANE shut the FUCK UP ]

Goodness—my apologies! I'm more of a wallflower myself, and comfortable there besides, so your proposal—

[ a pause, for a little laugh at the pun ]

—flustered me! My, goodness, haha!

[crimeson]

Oh. I'm sorry, I definitely don't wanna make anyone uncomfortable.

[sancrimony]

No, no—it's not your fault! It's mine for not understanding the tone—excuse me, Avenger's calling for me, so I'll be sitting down, but I think that you'd do well with a flower or two! Alright, have fun now!

[ BYEEEEEEEEEEEE ====> sitting somewhere in the seating area. ]

[crimeson]

--All right! See you!

[HM YOU APPEAR TO HAVE FUCKED THAT ONE UP MARNIE!!!!]

[sancrimony]

[ THAT'S AN ODD WAY TO SPELL 'DID NOTHING WRONG'!!!! ]