Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[time5kip]

I imagine it would have been better if your timing hadn't been so disastrous.

[crimeson]

The "right after Kohime" timing, or...?

[time5kip]

That exactly. Speaking of which, I'm sure she's delighted to see you on Zrael, of all places.

[crimeson]

--Aidios, who the hell are you?

[time5kip]

You realize it wouldn't take much to come to that conclusion, given circumstances.

I'm Valour.

[crimeson]

Yeah, but most people wouldn't go straight for the fuckin' throat!

[time5kip]

Oh. I'm kind of an asshole.

[crimeson]

Yeah, I noticed. Who are you to Baritones?

[time5kip]

[ wow hold the fuck up ]

What's it to you? You're not with them anymore.

[crimeson]

What, like that's gonna stop me caring? Spill.

[time5kip]

No, but it means I owe you absolutely no explanation, since you're wearing the wrong Uniform and it's entirely irrelevant to you.

[crimeson]

Is this a privacy concern or more dickheadedness?

[time5kip]

I'll let you guess that one.

[ it's the latter of course it's the latter ]

You're free to ask them, if you're so concerned. But it's none of your business.

[crimeson]

...I'll take that much, this time, so I don't have to resist the urge to punch a ten-year-old. Fucking hell.

[time5kip]

Oh, I'm sure punching people who refuse to give you information you have absolutely no right to ask for is usual for you. You certainly don't seem like you're bright enough to be able to resort to anything else.

[crimeson]

Is playing with fire fun for you? Fuck off, kid.

[time5kip]

Or perhaps I don't particularly see you as a threat.

[crimeson]

Cool. I don't actually plan on being one!

[time5kip]

Good. That means I don't have to stab you.

[crimeson]

[laughs

like, a little bitter, but also amused]

Why do you have to be such a shit? You almost seem like fun.

[time5kip]

Don't tell me what to do and we'll get along just fine.

[ crossing arms at his chest ]

And for the record. I'm older than you.

[crimeson]

Then don't provoke me on purpose.

[HE KNOWS THE SIGNS!!!]

...Yeah, I can see that. You don't talk the way you look. How old?

[time5kip]

[ gesturing toward him ]

You started it.

[ yes. he's going there. he's mature ]

I wouldn't have provoked you if you didn't start demanding answers simply because I made an observation, and then doubled down on it.

I'm fifty-eight.

[crimeson]

You were definitely already being an ass before I started making demands...

[sighs, though. seems to have chilled.]

All right, old man. I won't make demands.

[time5kip]

As you've just had the pleasure of experiencing. I can be worse.

But fine, I'll accept that much. And if you must know for your peace of mind, I like them well enough, and I'm close to a number of them.