Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[crimeson]

Has Wildfire been sharing his theories with you...

[notadrop]

Yeah, but I already knew you were a perv, Mister Dickthinker.

[crimeson]

Hey!

[notadrop]

It's true, though! It's super true, you can't deny it!

[crimeson]

Whyyyyy?

[notadrop]

Hey, Marnie, do you wanna see me in a bunny outfit?

[crimeson]

Hell yes!!

[no time for self-awareness only horny]

[notadrop]

See.

[crimeson]

Who would even say no to that?! Every man is a pervert by those standards!!

1/2

[notadrop]

[notadrop]

B-Bingo! Nerd! That's obvious, they all are!

[crimeson]

[whoosh over his head goes that tsun]

Then why are you singling me out?!

[notadrop]

Because you're the only man standing in front of me right now, idiot!

[ they're

grabbing his wrist tho. and dragging him elevator-wards ]

[crimeson]

[whoops, bye Live, we're going adventuring.]

Hm?

[notadrop]

I don't just carry any of my cosplay garbage on me. I'm not a degenerate, after all.

[ they hum to themself for a second, and then - ]

Actually, speaking of - you never got to meet Luna, did you?

[crimeson]

Oh, now-?

[wait huh?]

I don't remember a Luna, no.

[notadrop]

I thought so. It was a bit after you left, but...uh, I remembered a bunch of stuff, mostly all the goddess dragon parts of my life.

[ and being a grad student that works at a maid cafe to pay their tuition but you know w/e ]

So I'm Luna, like...technically. It's complicated because there's all this deep lore with like, vessels and stuff but basically my soul's a mirror that reflects her light so we share the same aspect of divinity or whatever? There's a mortal and a goddess and they're the same person, but like, not.

Which is how I'm Dia's mom, in case you were wondering. Even with Luna being a thing though she's still older than the moon, but whatever. Anyways, I also remembered what being Luna was like, and what she looks like, so sometimes I just do that.

[ they get into the elevator and start it once he's in too. ]

So I guess you should like, meet her too. I mean, you already have because you like, met me? But, whatever. Complicated.

[crimeson]

...Gonna be real, most of that went right over my head. But I'd like to meet her, too.

[notadrop]

Ugh, it flies over everyone's head! The point is I'm the moon, it's a duality thing, there's two of me but not really technically, give worship, thanks.

[ they bet you don't even read quest text, you fucking casual ]

But yeah, you can see Ruby in a bunny outfit like, later. It's been awhile since we cut loose, anyway.

[ and the moment the elevator reaches BARiTONES' floor they head inside and make a beeline straight for their room. ]

[crimeson]

[hot on their heels!]

Ok, I think I got it when you put it like that.

[notadrop]

[ they stop right outside their room, tiptoeing to kiss him on the nose. ]

Wait right here, 'kay?

[ and then they go inside. ]

[crimeson]

Got it.

[he will wait politely! a good dog!]

[justicebewon]

[ and Ruby's gone for a decent chunk of time - a lot longer than would be expected from just putting on some playboy bunny clothes.

But eventually someone emerges from the room, wearing the jacket and spikes from this outfit over a BARiTONES coloured bunny outfit. ]

Well? How do you like everyone's favourite Kir💖Royale?

[crimeson]

[he cannot be faulted for his eyes momentarily lingering on the whole chest situation as he's checking her out.]

Very cute! Should I say nice to meet you?

[justicebewon]

[ well no

she is 100% not going to fault him. ]

If you would like. Bonus points if you accompany it with a prayer.