Live triple threat!

[unskippablecutscene]

Who: Cosmo, Marnie, the Grand Master of Ceremonies Ligrev, and you!
Where: the lobby
When: Day 244 noon

[It’s the lobby, there’s like, not much special going on, but Vergil is in a big robe and pointy hat and false beard obscuring himself as much as possible. The massive size of the beard helps muffle his voice a bit too. Marnie is just hanging out nursing a drink, basically. Cosmo has set up a table of drinks.]

Good morning/afternoon/evening, please set all cellular devices to silent during the ceremony or they will be confiscated. ...Good enough? [HE IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE the disguise was not enough.]

Marriage! Fuckin' cute, right? Choosing someone to be bound to for life! Ain't nothin' more romantic, if you're into it! And if you're not, well, we're just fuckin' around, so no worries there. But we've got a theme to pander to, so let's have some fun!

[What we have here is actually a man who is terrible at monologuing. Does he get points for effort?]

[Cosmo raises a glass of champagne in a toast.]

Thank you Ligrev, Grand Master of Ceremonies! Thank you Marnie! We should work on a title for you shouldn’t we.

And with all that said, anyone who comes by now can marry one of these three eligible* bachelors**! Just point at your choice and the other two will see the wedding done… Somehow or other. Personally I recommend Ligrev, a serious older gentleman with a distinguished aura. Then again, if eye-candy is your thing you can’t beat Marnie. Naturally I, Cosmo, am a catch.

Of course you can bring your own bride or groom if you like, too.

Well, who will come get married?

*Citation needed
**Citation needed

[Ligrev starts to back away from the scene the moment they’re all offered as possibly eligible possibly bachelors. Hopefully no one will notice if they’re distracted. This was not part of the deal.]

((Zreal, Baritones, and Taisho get host bonus, all participants get theme bonus + 3 host bonus, come bully Vergil or get hitched what happens in hell stays in hell))

Comments

[crimeson]

Oh man, you gotta read the fine print. Sorry, but you're in it now.

[auguryofinnocence]

The problem here was a lack of contract. I can still back out.

[Which might be an idea. Maybe he should make Cosmo do a "no bully pls" contract.]

[crimeson]

You caaaaan, but unfortunately now I have a verbal contract for keepin' you here, sorry.

[auguryofinnocence]

I never agreed to that.

[crimeson]

It's between me and Cosmo, so take it up with him.

[auguryofinnocence]

That sounds like something I should be included in, as the one affected!

[crimeson]

Regrettably I did not think of that at the time.

[auguryofinnocence]

I think you've completed your objective in at least keeping me here this long. Good work. Now you can rest.

[crimeson]

Awww, do I look like a quitter to you?

[auguryofinnocence]

Not exactly but I was hoping so.

[crimeson]

It was worth a shot, I'll give you that much.

[auguryofinnocence]

Look. How about I'll stay, so you can keep your word, but I won't participate any further.

[crimeson]

...You've got yourself a deal!

[auguryofinnocence]

[He breathes a sigh of relief.]

At least you're reasonable.

[crimeson]

I can show mercy from time to time.