AUTODOC SANTA: LIVE

[artificialinelegance]

Who: All
Where: The hotel lobby
When: Day 28, morning

[ For today's fun and exciting Live, Santa has set up a sensitIV pink tent in the lobby with the rod of Aesculapius emblazoned on all sides in the hotel lobby. She herself is sitting at a booth with prices listed on it, tapping away at her phone: ]

MEDICAL AND DISTRESS ASSISTANCE MENU:

Medical Exam - ONE PIECE OF INFORMATION
Basic Treatment - ONE PIECE OF INFORMATION
Basic Repairs - ONE PIECE OF INFORMATION
Advanced Repairs - DO I LOOK LIKE INTENSITY TO YOU
Listening to your problems - TWO PIECES OF INFORMATION
Cuddling - TWO PIECES OF INFORMATION FOR 1 HOUR, 50 POINTS PER HOUR AFTER
Massage - TWO PIECES OF INFORMATION
Counseling Session - THREE PIECES OF INFORMATION
Helpful Advice - 100 PTS, 3 PIECES OF INFORMATION
Honesty - 150 PTS
Healing - 300 PTS
♥A Happy Ending♥ - 500 PTS

Comments

[bevoted]

[ --!? he feels bad that he made her flinch but now he's just. more. confused. ]

You yelled at me for calling you Santa the other day!

[artificialinelegance]

What? No I didn't! Why would I do that?

[bevoted]

I-- [ he. he just stares at her with open bafflement.

....... ]

Nevermind... Santa, what is all this?

[artificialinelegance]

Autodoctoring!

[bevoted]

Auto... doctoring....

[artificialinelegance]

'Cause I'm a robot!

[bevoted]

... is it really any different from normal doctoring?

[artificialinelegance]

I'm cuter!

[bevoted]

[ ... ff. ] Alright. Aside from you being cuter, how is it different from normal doctoring?

[artificialinelegance]

It isn't.

[bevoted]

Oh. [ well. ... not actually surprising. ]

... I don't think doctors offer cuddling sessions, though... [ reading the whole list now.

......


... ] What's "A Happy Ending"?

[artificialinelegance]

[ oh shit I forgot this might come up. we cant talk about this itll be another fight I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF OF THE LAST ONE ]

Decline to state.

[bevoted]

........ [ just. stares at her. like, he's stupid Santa but he's not that stupid. ]

[artificialinelegance]

...It's sex.

[bevoted]

....... [ for fucks fucking sake santa. ]

Take that off. [ ... a beat. sort of. like he's wincing at his own response. ] Or at least raise the price.

[artificialinelegance]

[ doki

WAIT NO THIS IS A BAD SITUATION, ]

You wanna talk about this? Like...I don't think we hashed anything out last time?

[ what the fuck happened last time. actually, where did the last like three days go... ]

I'll remove it if ya want, but I think we gotta decide who I am and am not allowed t'fuck. ...I mean, or if I'm allowed t'sleep with other people I general! I'm sorry, I ain't, like...good. At this sort of relationship.

[bevoted]

[ actually the entire nature of that argument has abruptly shifted and if we can never ever talk about it again that would be Great. ]

...... [ the sickening jealousy and insecurity rolling in his stomach tells him to push it farther. but when he remembers what happened, what he almost did and how ... just how bad everything was. he nearly shudders. ]

I'm not going to police who you do and don't sleep with. [ mutters, just. .... staring at that sign. which is a hell of a lot better than looking at Santa right now. ]

..... I just don't think you should be selling yourself like this.

[artificialinelegance]

Don't think I should for my own good, or don't think I should because you don't like it?

This was my job back home, Loki. I'm a whore, born an' raised.

[bevoted]

[ honestly it’s both but right now he’s in “i have no right to actually demand anything from Santa” mode so.

he looks. surprised though. startled. alarmed? some emotion. ]

……. oh… [ at least he’s actually meeting her eyes now. ] ……. I guess… that explains,

[ … a bunch of things, really. ]

[artificialinelegance]

Explains what a slut I am? Yeah. I shoulda told you before. I'm not really a good girlfriend.

[bevoted]

-- that's not what I said, Santa. [ snaps, upset. honestly about a lot of things, but predominantly the implication that he'd call her a slut. ]

It explains why you try to use affection the way you do. Why you... use yourself the way you do.


[ is he just not picking up on the girlfriend thing right now?

yeah, uh, give him like. a couple more tags before that catches up. ]

[artificialinelegance]

I guess if that's how you wanna phrase it.

[ she looks away from him, because -- because no matter how he says it, all it is her being a dumb worthless slut. she's ashamed she even bothered with this, with pretending she can have a normal relationship. she doesn't even remember when this started, that's how pathetic she is. how little she really cares. ]

im sorry he's stupid

[bevoted]

[ hey santa could you maybe use your mouth words

i say this but loki actually isn't any better right now. ]

... ... [ the sort of awkward silence following though. lets him catch up to that second half. ]

--- wait, are we dating???

[artificialinelegance]

[ ]

Wh-what? I...I thought we were?

[ WERE WE? WAIT, SHIT ]

[bevoted]

[ WERE THEY?????? ]

I don't-- I mean, you never said anything about it!