imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: Anyone
Where: The park
When: Day 63, midday to whenever

[look, the maple trees in the park are turning for the season! (what season????) vibrant red, orange, and yellow-hued leaves are scattered around the park today, some floating gently down the stream. it's a little chilly, and the sky is cloudy (some of that may be from the earlier smoke), but otherwise it looks like a lovely day for a walk.

what are you up to, imeeji?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[it's probably going to be after Fox is out of the water that Boss happens by and.

stares a little.

... wtf is anxiety and why does it exist like. unfair. he has never once in his life with this shit and now all the time in this place

that said--]

Fox?

[hi. coming... over...

he's kind of covered in bruises and small scrapes and he's wearing clothes that aren't great for the cold (lmao Bad End wear) but like... it's fine]

Edited 2018-11-26 22:38 (UTC)

[fox is sitting on the bank of the water, soaked completely, shivering a little when he hears boss approach. his eyes get real wide]

... Boss.

... what were you doing in the water? It's a bit cold...

[and I have nothing to offer for warmth so uh. awk.]

I did not think it would be as cold as it is... and I was trying to... gather my thoughts. If we had a waterfall to meditate under, as monks do, I would have chosen that instead.

[that seems silly.

silly enough that it gets a hint of a smile from him.]

Maybe it's just better to leave that kind of thing to the monks.

You may be right. I am not a monk... nor am I Ophelia, who drowned herself after going mad with grief and lovesickness. I am just...

[oh.

doesn't really mean to but does look. really pained. and guilty.]

Look, Fox... about what happened...

[glances up at him, wordlessly]

[tfw you want to be the one freezing himself in the water because everything else just. feeeeeels baaaaaad?]

... what happened wasn't fair to you. I didn't... know how much was effects from the game or not. So because of that and... some other things, I wasn't able to talk with you when it happened. So--I'm sorry... that it happened like that.

You deserve a lot better than that.

... so... it was all because of the after effects of the game? That is why you were acting so--that is why you did it?

It's... a little more complicated.

It happened then because of the effects. I... was made to follow orders, so when A gave that kind of command off-handedly, even if it was sarcastic...

[waaaaves hand in a So It Goes manner.]

And he mostly did that because he was being jealous-hearted because another effect was... intensifying... some other things...

[so like. no not completely all effects but like... THIS WAS NOT HOW. HE WANTED THINGS TO GO AT ALL. FEELS BAD!]

He was... jealous? Why?

[hoo boy... that's. baggage.]

I'm not especially good at the whole exclusive thing. The whole reason why we even ended up like that was because... Maki and A thought it would be easier to figure out our thing if that was the case.

I've messed up before... acting on impulses. So I've been trying... not to so much, but then those effects happened and...

[just. helpless gestures.]

[abruptly he grasps one of those gesturing hands and holds it still]

You were looking at me. You were looking at me the way I look at you.

[hands are caught

actually, he's caught

and his cheeks are going warm but also looking a little. well. caught.]

I... like I said, it was intensifying... some things.

[he lets go of boss's hand and drops his own]

... do you know why I left? Why I had to run away from you?

[i mean... he was thinking it was because of the whole... finding out it was command-obey things that made it happen?

looks a little uncertain about that now. shakes his head.]

I was afraid.

I have imagined, for a long time now, what it would be like to kiss you. And in my private thoughts, it was safe and secure and no one could see the true shape of my feelings for you. To have it thrust suddenly into reality like that... I felt cold, and confused, and somehow I wanted more, but I--

[he clenches his hands into fists, then relaxes them]

... if I had stayed, the truth would have come out. It seems I cannot stop it from coming out, regardless.

Edited 2018-11-26 23:55 (UTC)

[........... oh.

o h...

looks a little stunned. like not expected. despite like... well, that starting memory.

quick, stupid brain, be useful with a useful response!]

... oh.

[THAT'S NOT USEFUL.]

I mean--"a long time"...?

[he's doubting his own reality enough that he's a little bit afraid that he's missed some time somewhere. ?!?! TIME MEANS WHAT?!?]

[tucks a stray wet strand of hair behind his ear]

I do not know exactly when I started fantasizing about it, but there it is. I have no desire to hurt you, or Maki, or A--more than anything, I want to be by your side and support you. I want to protect you. And if that was the entirety of my feelings for you, then I could have stayed silent.

But... there is so much more, and I cannot keep them hidden away any longer.

[well.

the timing for this really could have... been better... but that's kind of his bad, not Fox's, so.]

I... I'm sorry.

[a little more quickly to try to avoid a misunderstanding:]

I don't mean to be... lackluster in my response, just. I'm happy. I should be... even more happy, to hear this. But there's just--a lot going on right now.

[aaaaaaah he can't seem to. muster up. a chill countenance at all.]

Can we... take our time with this? I just need things to slow down. Just a little bit.

... yes. I will wait for you.

[he reaches towards boss, then stops, his hand hovering in midair]

May I touch you...?

Edited 2018-11-27 01:00 (UTC)

[the fact that he even asks is just...

time for hugs, you wet and cold noodle artist]

[oh.

there's a soft noise like a wheeze from fox, not like he's injured or anything, just a surprised exhale. he wraps his arms tightly around boss, even though he's cold and shivering. but this is warm, and cozy, and safe, and he doesn't want to let go any time soon]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[shakes his head]

You didn't do anything wrong.