imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: Anyone
Where: The park
When: Day 63, midday to whenever

[look, the maple trees in the park are turning for the season! (what season????) vibrant red, orange, and yellow-hued leaves are scattered around the park today, some floating gently down the stream. it's a little chilly, and the sky is cloudy (some of that may be from the earlier smoke), but otherwise it looks like a lovely day for a walk.

what are you up to, imeeji?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He was... jealous? Why?

[hoo boy... that's. baggage.]

I'm not especially good at the whole exclusive thing. The whole reason why we even ended up like that was because... Maki and A thought it would be easier to figure out our thing if that was the case.

I've messed up before... acting on impulses. So I've been trying... not to so much, but then those effects happened and...

[just. helpless gestures.]

[abruptly he grasps one of those gesturing hands and holds it still]

You were looking at me. You were looking at me the way I look at you.

[hands are caught

actually, he's caught

and his cheeks are going warm but also looking a little. well. caught.]

I... like I said, it was intensifying... some things.

[he lets go of boss's hand and drops his own]

... do you know why I left? Why I had to run away from you?

[i mean... he was thinking it was because of the whole... finding out it was command-obey things that made it happen?

looks a little uncertain about that now. shakes his head.]

I was afraid.

I have imagined, for a long time now, what it would be like to kiss you. And in my private thoughts, it was safe and secure and no one could see the true shape of my feelings for you. To have it thrust suddenly into reality like that... I felt cold, and confused, and somehow I wanted more, but I--

[he clenches his hands into fists, then relaxes them]

... if I had stayed, the truth would have come out. It seems I cannot stop it from coming out, regardless.

Edited 2018-11-26 23:55 (UTC)

[........... oh.

o h...

looks a little stunned. like not expected. despite like... well, that starting memory.

quick, stupid brain, be useful with a useful response!]

... oh.

[THAT'S NOT USEFUL.]

I mean--"a long time"...?

[he's doubting his own reality enough that he's a little bit afraid that he's missed some time somewhere. ?!?! TIME MEANS WHAT?!?]

[tucks a stray wet strand of hair behind his ear]

I do not know exactly when I started fantasizing about it, but there it is. I have no desire to hurt you, or Maki, or A--more than anything, I want to be by your side and support you. I want to protect you. And if that was the entirety of my feelings for you, then I could have stayed silent.

But... there is so much more, and I cannot keep them hidden away any longer.

[well.

the timing for this really could have... been better... but that's kind of his bad, not Fox's, so.]

I... I'm sorry.

[a little more quickly to try to avoid a misunderstanding:]

I don't mean to be... lackluster in my response, just. I'm happy. I should be... even more happy, to hear this. But there's just--a lot going on right now.

[aaaaaaah he can't seem to. muster up. a chill countenance at all.]

Can we... take our time with this? I just need things to slow down. Just a little bit.

... yes. I will wait for you.

[he reaches towards boss, then stops, his hand hovering in midair]

May I touch you...?

Edited 2018-11-27 01:00 (UTC)

[the fact that he even asks is just...

time for hugs, you wet and cold noodle artist]

[oh.

there's a soft noise like a wheeze from fox, not like he's injured or anything, just a surprised exhale. he wraps his arms tightly around boss, even though he's cold and shivering. but this is warm, and cozy, and safe, and he doesn't want to let go any time soon]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[shakes his head]

You didn't do anything wrong.

If I could have contained myself, my feelings, my desires--I could spare everyone from my selfishness. But I cannot. And... I do not want to, either. I want you to know it, just enough to acknowledge it, to acknowledge me. That is why... I must apologize.

Fox.

[there's a bit of a. sterner. sort of tone to his voice here. still looking tired as he pulls back from the hug a bit. just enough so he can lift his hands to cup Fox's face]

Don't. Apologize.

You feel what you feel. I see it, I acknowledge it--acknowledge you. I just... need the time to work some things out for myself. You haven't done anything wrong. Okay?

[his eyes widen and then crinkle as boss holds his face. his lip trembles, and then he nods, with at least some resolve]

Alright. Just know that... no matter what, I will be there for you. I promise.

Edited 2018-11-28 06:41 (UTC)

[letting out a bit of a tired and shaky exhale, lowering his hands to Fox's shoulders]

That... means a lot. It really does.

And it's the same for me, you know. I... want to be there for you, too.

[softly]

Thank you.

[he mirrors boss and holds his face, then leans in and gently kisses his forehead]

[welp. officially Feelings Overloaded.

Boss even might be crying a bit but trying to cover that by patting Fox's shoulders.]

Should... get you somewhere warmer. Dry clothes.

[his fingers on boss's face linger there for a moment before withdrawing]

Yes, I should take care not to catch a cold.

[tries for a bit of a... lighter laugh.]

If you can even.

[fools and colds.

gentle teasing.]

Oh, I am certain I could if I tried. But your presence is all the warmth I need.

[please i'm already so thoroughly compromised here]

Charmer.

Do you think so? I don't think I have ever heard anyone say that about me.