!!! ??? !!!

[idolpro]

Who: Nemesis, Hurricane, you!
Where: ?Somewhere?
When: Day 496

[ The sound of an engine roars through the city, unfamiliar to any of you. What is that—? That thing, flying in the sky—Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or—

Is it a giant mech adorned with naginatas and a shield, flying through Tokyo-F at great speed? Is it Hurricane and Nemesis, coming to say their goodbyes? Or is it the sound of their departure. . . ? ]

Comments

[bondsofsuffering]

[Izanagi, predictably, is not doing well.

Hurt, betrayal, shame at feeling betrayed when he knows it isn't Hurricane's fault, not really - a deep, deep sort of despairing resignation, because it's more of the same and really, on some level, expected, because honestly-

isn't this always how it goes?]

You don't have to worry, you know. I'll be fine. You know that.

[He always survives.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Guilt cuts through the rest, deep and sharp and biting, that he's the one who caused that hurt. That he's the one who enacted that betrayal]

[He reaches out, a little unsteady -- offers what reassurance he can, and warmth, and affection, strong and fierce and determined]

...hey.

Do you trust me?

[bondsofsuffering]

[He takes into all in greedily, desperately, in no state to offer anything in return.]

...Yeah. Of course.

[crossmyheartandhope]

[He presses more out toward Izanagi, like an offering: warmth, love, affection, assurance, as though trying to soothe the jagged edges, even if only a little]

[Beneath it all, there's something fiercely determined, running through the center of him, strong as steel]

[And he lets go of Izanagi, just for a moment, so that he can cup his face, instead -- a hand on each side -- and look directly into his eyes]

I'm gonna find you again.

Okay? No matter what. You ain't getting rid of me that easy.

[bondsofsuffering]

[He looks back into those eyes... and doubt swirls, and then guilt at that doubt, not so much a reluctance to believe so much as an inability.

If every single day brought rain, how could anyone expect to see the sun by tomorrow?

After a beat, he rests one of his hands over Hurricane's.]

I believe you'll try.

[That much, is true. Even if it's still not nearly enough. But hard work doesn't always get rewarded, and determination can't always stop fate.

Some things are just inevitabilities, and it's a lesson carved in much too deep to be unlearned now.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[And that -- hurts, somewhere way down deep, even though he knows it isn't fair]

[That determination doesn't falter, though, or the things he presses out in offer]

I am so gonna proove you wrong.

[bondsofsuffering]

[There's an inward wince at Hurricane's pain. Why is he like this?

Why can't he just be happy for him...?]

...

Everyone leaves, Jay. Even if they don't want to. Even if I don't "deserve" it.

[He's liked and loved and yet none of it makes a difference. Never has.]

Besides- this kind of thing, it could take years, you know? Or decades, or even...

[...]

But... this is the only way you could go out. You're not the kind of guy who can just leave it alone when others are suffering. So... I guess, deep down, I already knew this would happen someday. I just wished it wouldn't.

[His hand leaves Hurricane's back, stroking his hair.]

But... I'll still love you, you know? Even if we're separated.

[crossmyheartandhope]

I'll still love you, too.

[A soft surge of reassurance -- that it isn't Izaani's fault. That none of this is Izanagi's fault, and that he's allowed to grieve losing this]

[(Hurricane grieves losing this, a little; there's an ache, low and deep, that Izanagi won't be just a couple of floors away, anymore. It's worse, almost, that Hurricane is causing it, causing all of this, and he can't not)]

...but we ain't gonna be separated. Not forever.

[His thumbs trace the shape of Izanagi's cheeks, very gentle. That warmth hasn't faltered, steady and soft]

[bondsofsuffering]

[There's a strained smile that doesn't believe in that one bit, but he doesn't let it linger long - burying his face in Hurricane's shoulder instead, arms wrapping him in a tight hug, as though that will suffice for...

Well. Maybe he just won't think about that.

There's pain and grief and so much loneliness, but at the root of it all is love, deep-seated and strong, an ever-thrumming undercurrent.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[He can't help that pain or grief or loneliness. He put it there, when that's the very last thing he ever wanted to do]

[He does what he can, instead -- presses warmth out toward him, soft and reassuring,love that swells like an ache]

[His hands drift down from Izanagi's face, so that he can take hold of him again to return that hug. It's very warm, and very firm, holding on as tight as he can]

[bondsofsuffering]

[All those negative feelings continue to swirl around, even if there's the sense that he's trying to rein it in, to get it under control. The scars from repeated isolation torn open anew, trying and continually failing to convince himself this will be any different.

Hurricane's probably leaving with a damp shoulder, but hopefully that won't cramp his style too much when it comes time to leave.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[There's reassurance, when Izanagi starts trying to rein in the pain -- an apology, soft and aching, that he doesn't need to hide what he's feeling. That he can just feel it]

[Hurricane offers up soft, warm things in return -- folds him up in them like a blanket]

[And if he notices the damp shirt, he doesn't say a word, though another thread of apology creeps in with all the rest]

[bondsofsuffering]

[It's not, though.

Tumbling headfirst into feelings of desperation isn't anything new to Izanagi, and his mind begins to wander to darker places, the ways he could entrap the other, leaving no actual option to leave.

(It wouldn't work, of course. sensitIV powers would be useful, but not nearly enough.)

And he hates this part of him too, the side that reacts to lack with take, because that was so often the only option - not that it ever seemed to work either.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[SensitIV powers could, probably more than any other power set here, keep him here, if Izanagi really wanted him to]

[And if the little flicker of grief inside Hurricane shivers even deeper, at the knowledge that he's made Izanagi consider this, too, it certainly isn't enough to make him pull away]

[Instead he only holds on tighter -- pours in as much warmth and light and love as he can, to try and fill that darkness]

[bondsofsuffering]

[He feels that - the emotion, and the tightening grip - and gives a short and unhappy laugh, only too aware his natural self-loathing is probably bubbling up to the surface about now.

He tries to pull away.]

Ah- geeze, I'm such a mess.

[In more ways than one.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Holds onto him, tight]

Don't. Please?

[There's apology now, much stronger than before, in among all that wamrth; Hurricane's hands make fists in Izanagi's shirt, holding tight]

[He doesn't let go, but the hold is easy enough to break, if Izanagi really wants to]

[bondsofsuffering]

[It does get him to pause, and after a moment he doesn't quite relax into the hold, but he does shift to stay in it.

His emotions are all just - so shameful, really. He always acknowledged he was a greedy person, but it's a whole other thing for someone else to feel exactly how much.]

You're too good. You know that?

[Because despite that greed, despite all those horrible feelings, Hurricane's still here.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[If he was any good, he wouldn't be doing this, would he? But here he is, having torn Izanagi apart]

[He presses that carefully down and away, though -- sweeps it somewhere deep, carefully out of sight. Instead there's more of that warmth, steady and unwavering, and the assurance that there's nothing wrong with being greedy]

You got bad standards, saying that to the guy who just broke your heart.

[He presses a kiss to Izanagi's cheek, very soft]

[bondsofsuffering]

[Another soft, sad laugh.]

Just because you're going off to be a hero, like you always do. There aren't many who are as selfless as you.

[He certainly could never bring himself to do the same.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

If I was a real hero, I woulda figured something out a long time ago, instead of leaving him there for this long.

[He presses another kiss to Izanagi's cheek, as soft as the first]

...here. C'mere. I got some stuff for you.

[bondsofsuffering]

[A little sad for different reasons, hearing him say that.]

Even heroes need time to figure things out. Especially when they're behind enemy lines. But that's boring to show on TV. Besides... if you figured it out long ago, we might not have gotten to know each other like this.

[He's reluctant to let go, but... He'll return the cheek kiss, releasing Hurricane for now.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Hurricane doesn't let go -- shifts his grip to keep hold of his hand instead, the warmth-assurance-love steady and strong through the link, like a heartbeat]

If I'd done it right before, we'd have still had all this time together. Just... y'know. Without the wrecking it at the end part.

[He gives Izanagi's hand a soft squeeze, tugging him toward his room]

Guess it's too late for coulda woulda shoulda, though.

[bondsofsuffering]

Nothing's wrecked until everyone leaves you - for good.

[There's a pang of grief - if anyone should know that, it's him. But for now, he'll follow.]

[crossmyheartandhope]

Well, I ain't planning on leaving anyone for good.

[He gives Izanagi's hand a squeeze, as they head down the hall]

So I guess nothing's wrecked yet.

[bondsofsuffering]

[He doesn't respond to that comment, continuing to follow behind him.]

So, got something you need me to work on after you go, or...?

[Having something to work on might be nice. Can't bother thinking about everything else sucking if you're busy.]