NEWBIE ARRIVES

[darkroastbean]

Who: AlcheWHO?
Where: AlcheMe! Dorms
When: Day 435 /whenever convenient

[uh oh the doors are locked!!!


and hey isn't it weird that C's room didn't disappear? Maybe its because the prop room is connected to it. Whatever the case, some guy is coming stumbling out of the room in his underwear]


What in the--what is all this crap?? What's with all this creepy stuff in that room?!

Comments

[darkroastbean]

[YELPS

POINTS AT]

BIRD--MAN??? What is this, some kind of circus?!

[doublefried]

Rude. I'll have you know it's a fake idol wizard tower.

[darkroastbean]

. . .

Am I drunk? Hungover? Dreaming??

[doublefried]

Well, you could be hungover, I don't think you're drunk though.

[darkroastbean]

I'm going to take that as an unfortunate no, then. What the hell is going on? Why is my room full of creepy wigs and cut outs and I think I saw handcuffs??

[doublefried]

The guy who had that room before you was a real troublemaker. I think he had a prop closet for putting on silly shows and stuff.

As for what's going on, we actually have a full like, introduction dossier. But long story short you've been kidnapped by Hell, yes that Hell, and you now have to pretend to be an idol until they think your spirit is broken enough to become a demon OR they figure there's zero chance of that happening. You're on AlcheME! We're the cheerful, funny, friendly wizards.

[darkroastbean]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[trying to dial 110 (or whatever is the 911 equivalent) on his phone]

[doublefried]

For what it's worth, we've ALSO all been kidnapped.

[ MAKING NO MOVE TO STOP HIM... ]

[darkroastbean]

[DIALS AGGRESSIVELY]

Is there like, no signal here, or have you all given up. . .?

[doublefried]

I mentioned we're in actual literal Hell, right.

[darkroastbean]

I thought by literally you meant it figuratively! How am I supposed to believe that all of a sudden??

[doublefried]

It is a pretty big ask, sure. You've got amnesia, right?

[darkroastbean]

Just because I don't remember how I got here doesn't mean I have--

. . .


. . .


Oh hell.

[doublefried]

[ nod nod nod ]

I'll get you the dossier. Might wanna sit down to read it.

[darkroastbean]

[looks at. the crystal couch.

is in boxers.]

Could I please have a blanket or something. . .

[doublefried]

[ PULLS A BLANKIE OUT OF HIS POCKET. HANDS IT OVER ]

[darkroastbean]

[QUE???]

[doublefried]

Magic powers. It's all in the dossier.

[darkroastbean]

[voice cracks]

O-of course, that explains it all!!

[SWADDLES SELF IN BLANKET]

[doublefried]

Do you want me to make you some tea?

[darkroastbean]

Is that also magic?

[doublefried]

I figured I would just use the kitchen.

[darkroastbean]

Oh good. Then yes, yes please.

[GONNA, GONNA READ THIS SHIT]

[doublefried]

[ Welcome To Hell 101. goes and makes some nice soothing tea and comes back ]

It's a little outdated, I think, but we haven't really learned THAT much more since it was last updated.

[darkroastbean]

[honestly just skimmed it only a little since i don't ooc remember shit about it, ON HIS PHONE NOW]

This is seriously all real. . .I didn't sign up for this. What about me screams idol? Or--wizard? You're a wizard?