time keeps on slippin, slippin into a mingle

[adorabilities]

Who: you crazy idols that are going stir crazy
Where: anywhere
When: 353

[you know what? sometimes, you just need to get out and mingle amongst the common folk

so, what's up?]

Comments

[weenwoon]

[JUST GET LILY OVER HERE TOO AND THE REALITY IS GONNA COLLAPSE]

...I would love that. I need to...

[He pauses, looking a little like he's zoning out.]

I just... want to talk to someone who wouldn't... I don't know. Judge me outright, perhaps.

[overworker]

[REALITY CAN’T HANDLE THAT

Serenity reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze.]

...of course. You can tell me anything.

[Her expression is judgement free. It’s too full of love and adoration to have room for anything else.]

[weenwoon]

[Hand holdy...]

...Thank you. You too, Renny.

[He rubs at his face a little with the other hand, as though trying to wake himself up.]

Do you want to go somewhere? It's not really... well, it's probably better to speak somewhere more private. I'm sure we both have things to share we don't really feel comfortable talking about publicly.

[overworker]

[She holds his hand and nods.]

Of course. Anywhere you’d like. There are soundproof karaoke rooms or we could go back to the hotel, if you’d like to.

[weenwoon]

...Karaoke rooms might be good. I don't really want to go back to the dorms right now...

[overworker]

...me neither. Come on-- a ride on the train might be nice. It's not far.

[weenwoon]

...Yeah. Let's go.

[He finally straightens up, reaching for her hand.]

[overworker]

[He wanted to keep this private, so she saves her questions for after their ride. Instead, she leans against him and enjoys his company-- until it's time to book a room. She's done this a few times now, she she goes ahead and makes the reservation for them and shows him the way.]

...if we need to, we can always add more time, but for now, I reserved it for us for the next two hours. So we can take all the time we want.

[weenwoon]

[He's fairly quiet on the way there; subdued in a tired kind of way, but cleraly appreciating Serenity's company as well. Once inside, he sits down on one of the couches, pulling his legs up.]

Thank you, Renny. Do you think we should order some drinks and food too?

[overworker]

[Serenity scoots onto the couch next to him with the menu, passing it over to him.]

Of course—- order anything you’d like. It’s on me.

[weenwoon]

[He opens his mouth to protest, but stops himself in time. It's pretty obvious that taking care of him would most likely help Serenity feel better, and it would be rather cruel of him to deny her her good intentions.]

Alright. Is there anything you'd like too? We could share.

[overworker]

[Letty you sweet innocent fool. She will do this every single time if you give her the power.

Sharing though-- is pretty romantic and she's weak.]

That sounds nice, I'd love to. I guess drinking is on the table too today, since we took the train.

[Not as planned but not a bad perk.]

[weenwoon]

[SERENITY PLEASE SPEND SOME OF YOUR POINTS ON YOURSELF... PLEASE...]

Yeah. And given that we both have some... complicated things on our minds. Some champagne, maybe? Nothing too heavy but enough to relax.

[overworker]

[N O P E]

That's a great idea-- champagne would be nice.

I'm not super hungry myself but something to snack on would be good. They have a platter of mixed appetizers we could split.

[weenwoon]

It would be quite nice. I...

[...he pauses, looking confused.]

I don't... quite remember if I've eaten today. But I must have.

[overworker]

[A small flash of concern crosses her face.]

If you want anything else, you can get it. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with leftovers. I’d rather make sure you have enough than worry about having too much.

[weenwoon]

[Gf... good... He smiles before leaning over to kiss her cheek.]

Thank you, Renny. I don't suppose they can deliver salads or something of the sort here? I've been mostly eating fast food lately, and that can't be very good for me.

[overworker]

[BF CUTE. The cutest.]

I’m sure they would. Although—- honestly, I’m sure the diet can wait at least until tomorrow.

[weenwoon]

[Maybe they are both, cute? That gets a small chuckle from him.]

I suppose, yes. Then... I do want a salad, but also a burger.

[overworker]

[He’s the cutest, but they can both be cute yes.]

Heehee. Alright— coming right up!

[She quick places the order for them.]

...in return, you can share with me what’s been on your mind lately.

HOW HAS IT BEEN ALMOST TWO WEEKS... WHERE IS TIME GOING

[weenwoon]

[He smiles a little - it's kind of endearing how Serenity just won't let up and let him hide from Talking About Things. But maybe that's what he needs sometimes, too.]

...A lot of things, truly. I'm not quite certain where to start... and I wouldn't want to worry you too much.

[But even as he says that, the conversations he's had with Lily and Glacies come to his mind. And hasn't even Levity himself scolded others for not letting their friends and loved ones take care of them?

He's quiet for some time, gathering his thoughts, staring half-absently at the floor. But eventually...]

I don't... quite feel like myself lately. It's been there from the start, truly, but it's only grown stronger over time... and now I know one of the reasons why.

[Levity pulls his feet up, half-hugging his knees, trying to gather his resolve to once again put it to words.]

It's... well...

[...]

...I'm--dead, you see. And so is... everyone...

[He trails off, his gaze once again lost in the distance, his expression growing more dispassionate. Turns out it's hard to talk about these things!]

WHEREMST DID IT GO???

[overworker]

[It is a shock, to say the least-- one that hits hard. Serenity doesn't hide the raw pain on her face when she looks at him. She rests her weight against him, fingers tightly gripping the edges of his clothes... as if it can keep him there.

Her voice is small, delicate. Like the words threaten to break her. But he needs to hear this. She wants him to know.]

...remember before when I told you this isn't the first time I've had amnesia? [...] My first memory in this place was of my "death". I was on one of the highest floors of a building when a canon nearly obliterated it. And that's why... I hate being buried alive the most.

Since then I've remembered... almost two completely different lives. Towa Herschel, Adalaide... and then there's "Serenity Aslind" who is... neither of those people. Not exactly. It's like... taking the pieces of those people and trying to put them back together again. But things get lost and they change and... it gets harder to figure out who "I" am.

[She takes a shuddering breath and clings tighter.]

...I don't know if it's really the same or... if it helps, but-- I want you to know that you aren't alone.

Re: WHEREMST DID IT GO???

[weenwoon]

[Levity wraps his arms around her, stunned--to relive your death as your first memory... Moreover such a gruesome one, too, - he can't fathom it, how it must have felt for Serenity.]

I'm sorry, Renny...

[And the more she talks, the more Levity feels the same weight of not knowing who he is, what he is, what his purpose might be, press down on him all the more - but at the same time there's a measure of catharsis in it to know that he's not the only one.

Maybe he doesn't have to run from it. He doesn't know if he's ready to face it yet, but perhaps he can acknowledge it. But first...]

...It does help. Thank you, Renny.

[He kisses the top of her head softly, hoping that it would serve to soothe her somewhat.]

You might think it funny, but that... was how I put it when talking to L--Cosmo, too. That I feel as though all I am left with are pieces of myself. And even if I put them back together perfectly, they will never be whole again.

[overworker]

[As awful as every part of that feeling is, and how much she wishes he didn't have to feel it too-- in sharing it, she feels closer than ever to him right now.

Serenity doesn't know if she's really done anything worth being thanked for. But if it helped him even a little, then it was more than worth it.]

Of course... I will always be here with you. No matter what happens, I will always be on your side.

Maybe it's a little funny. But... it's also kind of sweet, in a way. Knowing that we both think of it the same way. Or maybe that's silly.

But I understand completely. It's... a lot of uncertainty. Not knowing what pieces go where or what you should keep and which you should let go of... and still knowing that some things won't feel or... fit right... even if they were something once really important to you.

[...]

I've always had a lot of doubts about myself. But I think this has only made it harder for me to feel... self-assured. If you don't know yourself... how can you really feel confident or good about it? I feel bad, because so many people have tried very hard to reinforce those feelings, but... I think no matter how close I get, there will always be some doubt that remains. At least... until I figure out who-- who I really am.

[weenwoon]

[Just. Going to hold her :( He's quiet for a little while, simply sighing softly and somewhat fondly--it's hard to gather his thoughts enough to add something to that, because... that's it, really. That is how it feels.]

...I feel the same. Cosmo and Alexander want me to--be myself, my own person... but I don't know who that is anymore. This world is...

[He trails off, struggling for words.]

It's... nothing like mine. There is so much I don't know, don't understand. I don't know how to deal with conflict. With feelings of anger or hurt. We never had to, not like that.