imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: BAD END = DUMB END and others
When: post-game
What:

[SO.

THAT SUCKED.

THAT REALLY REALLY SUCKED.

TIME TO FLOP INTO OUR SUCKY DORMS AFTER A SUCKY GAME.

I GUESS PEOPLE CAN COME OVER TO... Y'KNOW... IF THEY WANNA.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He does not deserve hugs??? But he'll accept it anyway, just leaning in and trying not to leak out of his eyes. He mostly succeeds at that, but it's a near thing. ]

[Patting his head while he hugs him.]

It's okay to cry.

[ He shakes his head slightly. ]

I'm not going to cry.

[ He absolutely refuses to let himself. ]

Sanguine...

[ He attempts to smile. It's bad, he's no AlcheME and sucks at fronting. ]

Don't worry about me. Just take care of yourself. You're newer than the rest of us, so this has to be that much harder for you.

[Pokes him in the cheek.]

That's the saddest smile I've ever seen, Sanguine.

You have amnesia, that's not saying much.

[ His hand fidgets at his side. ]

I mean it, though. Please take care of yourself.

I feel the same about you, you know? I don't want you to be keeping it in.

I'm fine. [ A beat, and then: ] I'll be fine. So you can stop worrying about me. I'm upset now, but I'll get over myself.

It's not about getting over yourself, or anything.

[ Isn't it, though? ]

I'll be fine.

[ He pulls away from Phoenix. ]

....I'm not very good company right now, I'm sorry. I should probably go.

Sanguine...

[Catching his sleeve.]

We all feel guilty. We all messed up. At least with me, you don't have to pretend you're fine.

[ He doesn't look at Phoenix as he answers. ]

....I need to be fine. I can't, it's.... I don't. Have..........

[ He shakes his head. ]

I need to be fine, okay?

It's not like I don't understand that feeling... I feel the same. But at the same time... You're not. I'm not either. I don't know what to do about it or how to make it better, but at least we can not lie to each other.

[ Okay, but what if his problem is that he doesn't feel like he has the right to be as sad, unhappy, and guilty as his unitmates?

He doesn't say any of that, though. He takes a deep breath and expels it a little more harshly than he intended— a side effect of trying not to cry. ]

I'm not, I'm not trying to lie. I just. I need to be fine. I need to be.

What the hell kind of logic is that Sanguine?

[Tugs on him, bonks their heads together.]

Don't... Don't be an idiot. Don't go confusing want with need. We're all beating ourselves up, we all want to be fine, but we did this together, we're all in this together.

Phoenix....

[ His eyes are getting watery again, and this time he can't really hold off the flow. ]

[Tugs him back into the hug, holding tighter.]

We're in this together, got it? So for us, for me, you don't have to be okay.

[ Sanguine lifts his hands, balling his fists into Phoenix's jacket-thing as he finally starts really crying. ]

I'm sorry...! I'm sorry, I'm sorry....

[Holds him while he lets it out, rubbing his back and petting his hair.]

[ The babbled apologies stop after a moment, but it takes a few more before the crying subsides into sniffles. He mumbles a "thank you" into Phoenix's coat, but doesn't immediately pull away. ]

[Stay like this as long as you need kiddo. He'll keep holding Sanguine tightly.]

You aren't a bad person, okay? Just remember that.

[ Even having a good cry and letting out some of his emotions can't cure him of that notion, Phoenix. But he'll nod anyway. ]

...Sure.

[ He'll let Phoenix have that lie. ]

[Sigh he can tell so he just, keeps petting Sanguine.]

[ That notion is here to stay unfortunately. He pulls away after a moment. ]

...I am gonna... work on being okay, though.