imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Joker and whoever
Where: BAD END=DEAD END
When: post-A drama and onward through Day 76 probably

[anyway, a certain Wild Card is going to head to his room and flop face-first into his bed.

if anyone needs him, well. he's not hard to find.

how's everyone else on the unit doing?]

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[ It feels like it’s HER turn to have fury. Her fists curled at his back. ]

What a disgusting man. To use a teenager like that. To point blame just because you were there trying to protect that woman.

[ For her, this kind of thing hits a place deep within her. ]

He's why... my parents didn't put up much of a fight--or take my side in it.

So I got shipped off to Tokyo to live with a stranger's attic and... met all of you...

[this is. upsetting. very upsetting because of A's memory]

And I think I felt like. I was getting my life back--and then that shit happened.

[getting sold out, arrested, apparently beatened and drugged, and then... his breathing's a bit rougher and it's definitely a moment before he can get his throat cleared enough]

I'm... sick of that bastard ruining everything and fucking scapegoating me, even then.

[ It really is unfortunate, because Joker’s parents probably didn’t have much of a choice. They probably didn’t have the means to fight back. Especially if that man is a well known politician. Politicians were just corrupt, terrible, shells of men. ]

But that can’t be the end, that can’t...I refuse to believe that.

[ She holds him through it, taking a deep breath to try and ground him again. ]

Do you think we would just take anything laying down? There has to be more.

Even if it is the end... there's already more.

This place is more.

Maybe... even if that's what happens... once we get out of here...

[maybe there's a way back to life and then we go and haunt and kick that asshole's ass. that idea really appeals.]

You're right. This place is already another page in the book.

[ Soothe soothe soothe. ]

I don't want to see you give up, or see you get hurt, or see you be scapegoated again. It makes me angry to see you in those positions.

... I keep trying... not to let my temper get the better of me.

But I can't--really keep it down about this.

[it sucks. it feels bad. it's definitely going to catch demon attention]

You have every right to be angry.

Why are you trying to bottle it?

[pulling back from the hug a bit. mostly so he can rub at his eyes. it's not the first time he's been asked but...]

I don't... have very good experiences when I've lost my temper before. And the biggest one--maybe it wasn't me? But...

[he sure thought about it a lot for a long time]

[ She watches him carefully, studying his face. ]

But?

... I know it's tempting to do worse than kill him if I see him again.

It's tempting, but would you act on it?

[... yeah, that is the question isn't it.

looking down at the bed because he really doesn't have a good answer for that]

[ ...

Well, that just earns him another hug. ]

It's okay to be angry.

[impotent angry is the worst feeling though. just gets frustrated tears and some harsh breathing.]

It's not even just me, either.

He... used A. Knew he was vulnerable and just wanted to be accepted--twisted that up and had him doing those things...

[he's just. so beyond infuriated by this man.]

He used A to get what he wanted, and likely with no true regard for A.

What a sorry excuse for a Father.

[ Is she still a little frightened by A? Yes. Can she... understand being used by your Father? Absolutely. So while it doesn't make any of what A did okay, having your own parental figure use you like a pawn can drive you to some crazy places. ]

And going after kids--just because... we wanted something better than his corrupt bullshit!

[WHY ARE. ADULTS. THE FUCKING WORST?!

but also the heavy guilt in his stomach, knowing he was the one who brought them together and lead them into it--actually, that's the worst of it. the part that keeps breaking the dam.]

And that is something worth fighting for! Corrupt politician standing in our way or not! It just shows what kind of man he is.

[ Adults fucking suck, the entire plot of Persona 5.

There is no buddy bond right now, but he doesn't need it to feel the heaviness of the air. ]

You're feeling something else along with that. Stop putting all the weight on your own shoulders.

[when you know you're gonna get scolded but also--]

S'my fault... you guys got caught up, too.

[ Cupping his face and tilting his face up so that they can make eye contact. ]

Stop.

[ Her voice is firm. ]

Your fault that we made a choice to stand by you? Your fault that even if the going gets tough, we want to stick by your side? I don't want to hear you say that you forced me or Fox or anyone to stick around.

I don't...I don't remember a lot yet. But certainly we all had our own reasons to fight.

[why so hot when everything feels bad???

but also, not looking away and swallowing a bit thickly.]

There was... a plan. I think. To get out of that situation.

But I didn't--I probably didn't think they'd... beat me. Or drug me-- [he was probably too late to change the outcome and that sense of failure is palpable.]

I messed up.

[ this is just how it is sometimes. ]

But it's not over.

... I know.

I know that.

[he literally just said it like 5 minutes ago, but also... it's hard.]

I just... feel like... people need me to get it together. And I can't. So even if it's not over--the things that might happen between now and then... I've already. Made a lot of bigger mistakes.

[she's called him leader before but how can anyone call him that when chances are he's going to end up a demon or something because he's just that much a fuck up???]

One thing at a time here.

People need you to get it together, and then you end up carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. What exactly do you think that you are doing to yourself in the process here?

What is Joker doing for Joker's sake? What is Joker doing for Joker's well-being?

[ Maybe she's going in circles, maybe she's hitting a dead end. But... it's not like she can let him keep dragging himself like this. ]

[this is not the first time today he's been asked this but somehow the answer he gave before sounds... worse.

so he mostly just kind of... looks a bit at a loss.]

I'm... I've been reading. About post-traumatic stress... depression... things like that...

[that's... helping himself? right?]

Mars offered to spar with me. And I was thinking... about maybe... running simulations in the vid room. Fighting my own shadows, maybe.

[this is probably not what Prim meant but ???]

[ Well, it is...very close enough. She will take it since he is offering it. She settles again, next to him and close if he wants it. ]

I'm glad to hear it.

[ ...and just to lighten the mood: ]

Mars hits pretty hard, you better be ready for that.