imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

But that's not how it actually turned out?

[ Since, well. Lark managed to figure out who Tsukasa was.

...He's not liking the direction this is apparently going. ]

[ . . . ]

When it was discovered who I was, increasingly difficult tasks began to roll in. And then, through a terrible series of events, a great many of my fans wound up being devoured.

[ There's no reason to get into the gory details of that. ]

My existence almost disappeared like a candle's flame. I could feel... as every thread holding me together began to rapidly unravel. It was terrifying. I didn't know what to do.

[ . . . Uncomfortably, he pauses, before clearing his throat. ]

I... the only option I had was to begin trying to fulfill as many of the requests as I could, atop all of the new ones flooding in. [ What else could he have done? ]

A friend found me in that state, and he offered to help. It is probably only due to that reason that I managed to retain myself and grow a little more solid once more.

But... [ He sounds embarrassed and miserable, unable to look at him. ] the fan requests were... ... ... they were not very appropriate.

[ He did hear the rumors about fans getting eaten, but —

He opens his mouth. Closes it, because honestly what the fuck can he say to that besides "who the hell ate them" and he isn't sure if he wants to know the answer. It'd only serve to piss him off more, probably.

... As he listens to Tsukasa talk, Lark can't help but try to reach for his hand to — hold onto it, he supposes. Considering everything that's been insinuated up until this point, the sinking feeling in Lark's stomach only grows deeper. ]

That's ...

[ "To be expected of the fans", given some of the stuff that shows up in the boxes of mail. "Unethical", gods forbid it's a word he didn't think he'd ever use in any seriousness, but right now he can't think of anything else to describe how...how gross it all sounds when taken in context. ]

[ His fingers curl around Lark's as he continues to lean against him. He doesn't really know what more to say in return. The entire situation sounds as though it could be laughable, but to him, it was a serious affair.

. . . ]

Mm.

[ For once, he really doesn't have many words. What can he say when it's already a humiliating topic? This kind of thing just doesn't happen. Except- ]

I- I wasn't hurt or anything. [ At least he wants to assure him of that. ] What I mean... is that I was treated thoughtfully by my friend, at least [ Not by the fans of course. They were the source of the issue, to begin with. He feels that probably, Rye did what he could to help him in a less than ideal situation. ]

I just... imagined things differently.

I mean...if you're still feeling this bad, was it really all that thoughtful?

[ That's the first thing that comes to mind, anyway. He understands that it wasn't the best situation to begin with, so perhaps it was never going to have a satisfactory conclusion, but even so... ]

... I know you would have liked that sort of thing to be more meaningful.

He only tried to make the best of a bad situation.

[ He really doesn't have any complaints regarding how he was treated during the entire affair. And, well... he was affected at the moment as everything unfolded. But always with the why in the back of his head.

It's exactly as Lark says though. At the heart of things, he's a romantic. Of course, for his true to goodness first time, he had hoped that it would be meaningful... even if only a little. Not a desperate attempt to stay alive.

He draws a breath and simply sighs. ]

I just wish we could have a little break. First that, our regular games, missing my senpais, and now this most recent memory. I try very hard not to become too depressed or discouraged. I cannot afford to be. But sometimes, it is difficult.

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