imeeji_frontstage | time keeps on slippin, slippin into a mingle

time keeps on slippin, slippin into a mingle

Who: you crazy idols that are going stir crazy
Where: anywhere
When: 353

[you know what? sometimes, you just need to get out and mingle amongst the common folk

so, what's up?]

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You sound like Five.

Well first of all of course I do, we are much the same but in particular hard headedness is a Taisho trait.

More importantly, do I sound terribly serious?

Not really, but he sounds like he's just being half-sarcastic most of the time, too. Which is partly why things turned out like this.

[He's going to find something else to fling into the distance. He's just kinda been out here disconsolately throwing pebbles and various debris from his pockets into the sunset.]

But I admit, it sounds comforting rather than insulting from you.

"Half-sarcastic" is really just condescending. I find it endearing on him but I suppose that wouldn't be the case when it is being directed at you.

Well, I assume he's not blaming you for things you haven't even done yet and may not do at all.

[Hmmmm he can guess what that's about and well. Considering his first thought on meeting Levity was "we should have killed him before they found out about him"....... Ascian stans are just like this okay? Please understand.]

"Yet" and "may" are key words there. Perhaps not to outright place blame. But you must understand why he is on edge about it.

I do, but I want him to understand that that's not helping at all. Because it just makes me feel that in the end I will turn my back on Alexander, whether I want to or not. Like it's inevitable.

I'm sure he knows it isn't helping anything. That also doesn't do anything to quell that fear, however.

[Hmph.]

Well, that's his problem and not mine.

Well yes. Exactly. So why try to make it your problem?

You already knew Alexander and Cosmo have similar fears. The only way to change that is proving it false, slowly over time. That may take ten thousand years. So what? From what you have told me before I get the impression you want everything to happen immediately just because there is no cause to worry to you. Understandable, but that simply isn't how things work.

You haven't had to know distrust, you don't know what it is like to be unable to trust a single thing, that anyone could have ulterior motives and turn on you any moment. To know how dangerous it is to wish for anything and accept you must face everything yourself. No one cares, no one will help. This thought of being unable to trust what you are experiencing may at least be similar enough for you to understand, however, how much it would take to begin to.

If it would change whether you will try to know Alexander and be trusted, then the fear is already justified. If not, there is nothing to do but carry on as normal.

[He stays silent for a time, thinking.]

I don't want everything to happen "immediately". At least... I don't think I do. But what I do or don't want, what I think or don't think, what I do or don't do doesn't matter.

[He opens his mouth as though to say something else, then sighs.]

Well. Whatever.

No, it isn't "whatever", or "nothing matters".

It is, in fact. From what you and everyone else have been saying, Five is both too frightened and too angry to see me in a positive light unless I follow his expectations exactly. So in this case? It doesn't matter. And it's "whatever" because I'm tired.

If "nothing matters" and defeat are what you get out of that, then as I said, the fear is being proven correct. That isn't what I am telling you in the least. Nor does anyone expect you two must get along.

But if you wish to get along, or even to prove him wrong, then moping isn't the way. What doesn't matter is what he thinks. Or what I think. Or Cosmo, or anyone else but Alexander himself.

[He holds up a hand.]

Me and Alexander are doing just fine, actually. And the more I try to stand by my principles, the more Five is furious with me and the more I get told that I am wrong.

I wasn't implying you weren't, Levity. And if you are, then good, that is the thing that matters.

If things are this defensive with Five, who I can only assume would be doing just the same, then frankly I can see why it's going nowhere. Quit caring so much, if you wish to then come back to it later when you are both ready not to immediately jump to conclusions and condescend without listening.

[opens mouth

closes mouth

but he actually looks kind of... relieved?]

...Well. I think you're about the only person so far who's told me we're both being defensive.

I imagine that is because it is a given Five would be defensive, little need to remark on it.

No, I mean... Well. It kind of felt like everyone was siding with Five in the sense of him being right to be defensive and me being wrong for doing the same. But I don't mind being called stupid as long as it's acknowledged we both are.

Well. You both are.

Good. Now I can stop being defensive about it.

[He smiles and runs a hand down his face tiredly. It's been A Long Day.]

No wonder you're Glory's brother.

Hah, that we are both blunt?

Yes, but not in a malevolent way. I always feel better after talking to you two.

Oh, don't worry, I can be plenty cruel about it if I wish to be.

[a small smile]

I would prefer you didn't, at least for now. Five is enough of a migraine for me.

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auguryofinnocence - 2021-04-24 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

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