(no subject)

[nohalation]

Who: FiN + visitors?
Where: FiN dorm!!
When: Day 288 afternoon

[Things are probably calming down now!! Right? Right?]

Comments

[mind_blown]

You're asking a bunch of people who ended up in hell.

[he says with a half depreciating sigh.]

But someone who doesn't talk about creating your purpose-- or like you're their tool.

[dumbjockenergy]

Alright, so...other Commanding Officers don't treat their cadets like that? What was yours like?

[ the problem when 99% of the people you've been exposed to in your life are orphans? who actually has a mom right??? ]

[mind_blown]

[he pauses]

Well, I never had a commanding officer, but I was giving you the hint that my family life sucked too.

Enough so that I take notice when I see kids with that kinda background.

[dumbjockenergy]

Well, she said I'm special... So maybe it's normal for me? Maybe where you're from it's not, but for me it is.

[ why........does she feel the need to defend it. ]

Maybe I was a really difficult kid. Or...I don't know. This is confusing. What I remember feeling doesn't match with what I feel.

[mind_blown]

[he stares at her.]

... Nah.

You wouldn't know how t' be difficult if your life depended on it.

[dumbjockenergy]

I could be difficult if I wanted to!

[mind_blown]

Spoken like someone who doesn't know what 'difficult' looks like for a personality.

Intensity? He's difficult. Me? I'm difficult.

You might not be Angel, but you're on her end of the difficult personality scale.

[dumbjockenergy]

Then I'll just have to be more difficult.

[mind_blown]

That isn't a goal I'd recommend to anyone honestly. Should focus on unlearning what you can.

Before the whole "bitter, jaded asshole" thing sets in.

Or worse, you end up perpetuating it.

[dumbjockenergy]

But how do I unlearn what I don't remember?

[ and that's the crux of the issue.

with a frustrated groan, she slumps over the counter. ]

How do I...contextualize what I know or-- or feel might be normal against what might be the actual way things should be? The memory was...a lot and the feelings are a lot too, but it didn't feel out of place or unearned or anything like that.

[mind_blown]

Here's lesson one: second best's fine. And if you wanna make beating someone a point, that's your prerogative.

Lesson two: no one gets to tell you what your purpose is. Only you get to decide that.

[he shrugs.]

We'll figure out the rest later. But sounds like that woman deserved a swift death sentence anyway.

[dumbjockenergy]

...You don't think that was a horrible thing for me to do?

[mind_blown]

Nope. She deserved it.