imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

[Nods:] Muerte.

Come back with everything in working order?

All systems green! I admit, I was a bit worried my sensors were, like, totes fucked for a minute there.

Ha! The sky make you want to vomit, too?

[Pulling up something on his phone]

She totally dodged my question about it! The rest of that place was fucked up too. In what fuckin' world do trees drip shadows like sap?

Must have missed that part. I got on the haunted subway with the damned - aka the audience.

[And shows Santa a picture of it:

He opens up a picture of him on what looks like a normal train, except its full of "people." The other passengers don't seem to be quite occupying the same space as he is-- they have black outlines with silhouettes are something like people. They're also blocking seeing whatever is outside the train windows.]

You want to start with what you learned? I've already heard from B, C, and Nine-Nine.

Spooky. I saw the audience, too. Heard our show even, walkin' through their Tokyo. Didn't try t'find where it was playin' from, since I know better than t'wander off a path lit by spirit ass flames.

Prob'ly what part of th' city we saw depended on where we entered from, which means Tokyo-F's got some kinda physical location. Gimmie a sec t'clean up my files real quick an' I'll send 'em over.

You'd be correct. It appears that our Game Tower exists in both planes of existence, and therefore the hosts don't even know what goes on there half the fucking time.

Exael asked me if anyone died in the House of Mirth --- for example.

Leave it t'Heaven t'make a mess of somethin' as simple as a simulation. Thanks, Jesus.

[ She pulls out her phone to quickly send Intensity a text:

- more tokyos than Tokyo-R and Tokyo-F (tokyae? tokyii? tokyopodes)
- looks like a dreamscape, def. operates on dream logic
- they have a fucking r&d department! they deal with the interdimensional logistics
- azzy's team is in charge of making game templates/production
- mukuro is a cute idiot
- graduation is a choice between a monkey's paw wish (gj mukuro) or going home
- graduation is achieved by just doing your best
- poor compatibility makes it take longer
- we are not dead or dreaming or both [ CITATION NEEDED ]
- she heals fast
- if anyone finds these notes and they end here I died of bad pickup lines
- SHES A FUCKIN ANGEL
- HOLY SHIT SHES HOT
- also implied she did in fact fall from heaven, unsure if counter flirting, joke, or shes actually a fallen angel
- IT'S A FUCKIN TEST OF FAITH
- FUCK YOU GOD
- JESUS WEPT
- I LOVE BEIN THE PROTAG OF THE BOOK OF JOB
- azzy is probably a hellbeast but idk which. azazel? azrael? exi wouldn't tell me, said we already have all the clues we need for that
- also none of this is trustworthy, theres no reason for them to drop this much conveniently
- which lends to it bein a test of faith but not one as simple as it seems
- graduating and choosing the wish is instant soul loss prob, also gets you a cool job tho
- hell job
- like this angel ass angel straight up had a hint she was supposed to drop in this meeting to let us figure out the test of faith thing
- remember your job. haha get it because eat a fuckin dick god
- she told me to run straight home because wandering in tokyod isnt recommended but the elevator went straight home anyway
- not a simulation we're strapped into then
- nts tell bell ]

Edited 2018-09-03 04:59 (UTC)

[Takes a picture of the notes with his phone]

Glad to see you had a good time.

If there's one thing I'm good at it's fakin' friendliness towards someone who's fakin' friendliness.

[Points to this: - remember your job. haha get it because eat a fuckin dick god]

Explain this to me. C was also stumped by it.

Y'all makin' me feel dangerously genre savvy, I can't wait to eat shit for knowin' too much due to havin' read the Bible once.

Book of Job, Old Testament. It's about a dude who's super happy and wealthy and pious an' so God goes up to Satan like 'yo, look at my boy Job' and Satan says Job's only hot shit, 'cause God blessed him.

So God literally just tells Satan to torture the dude an' see what happens and he starts with murderin' Job's kids, all his employees, and givin' him the fuckin' plague. His wife tells him to give God the middle finger and his friends are all like 'man you hella sinned, you should repent' but he tells them all to shut the fuck up 'cause God's the best an' wouldn't hurt him for No Reason, which is technically true because there's a reason and it's 'havin' a pissing contest with the devil'.

So dude's sittin' there so miserable he wishes he was dead but God won't even let th' plague kill him. Eventually God gets off his ass and talks to the dude an' Job learns the valuable lesson of how God knows what's best for him and also hey look I'm here so believe in me ok?

So he does, an' repents for havin' the gall to think he knows or even deserves to know why God does shit, an' then God calls his friends dipshits an' tells him to listen to His Boy Job, Holiest Dude Ever and gives him a new wife and kids and home and money and plague-free body an' he lives for like another 300 years. Presumably if Job followed his wife's advice then Satan won an' Job gets the ol' spicy lake.

The moral of the story is that God's a dick an' there ain't shit you can do about it 'cause if you complain you're damned.

[When Intensity realizes this is going to be longer than a couple of sentences, he quickly takes out a piece of paper and starts jotting down notes]

Congrats on being learned, Muerte. Somehow you've put an even more negative spin on this fucking circus.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

That's me, random facts generator! It turns out books are useful! Next time ask me about my knowledge of Greek mythology!

An' yeah, we're kinda fucked. Outta all the dubious shit that's gotten leaked to us, the only thing I'm 100% willin' to believe is that this is a test of faith. For us, the game between Heaven an' Hell is as relevant as God an' Satan were to Job. Which is t'say not at fuckin' all besides our lives bein' shit 'cause of it.

...Exi said most people have more sense than Mukuro. He didn't realize the wish was bullshit, but that don't seem right. It can't be that fuckin' easy, there'd be no point otherwise. Especially if the wish is how they get more staff for this shit. An' 'sell your soul' vs. 'go home' ain't a choice that requires any faith. Not unless they make us wanna sell our souls.

Agreed.

Only way to get a better understanding of that is to hear Hell's propaganda, correct? Heaven's had their chance.

Right. So next up's Mukuro? Exi said he's got a nice story to tell.

Since Azzy is off the table, he's our only option.

Yeah. Man, I gotta grill people for hints about Azzy's name...

[ and then she goes silent for a moment, rocking on her heels ]

...Hey, Intensity? Did I do a good job?

[That's the second person to ask him that]

An excellent job. You should consider working for me full-time.

Well shit, who doesn't love workin' two full time jobs?

Oh? Who else are you working for? I didn't realize there was competition.

[Outside of C - but that's sharing is caring]

The princess! Er, Hiryuu. She mostly just has me give her advice.

[ on how to torture her dragons ]

. . . Advice on what?

Uh. Interpersonal connections, mostly. Besides health and random mythology shit dealin' with other people is what I'm best at. Since it was what I was built for an' all.

Is that really a full time job? Does Her Highness need that much advice?