Sleepy Sheepy

[nohalation]

Who: Future is Now
Where: Future is Now dorm
When: Day 271

[If you want more sleep, we at least got a proper place for that!]

Comments

[nohalation]

...FiN's room or the party...

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

... What was wrong with FiN?

[nohalation]

It was very nice although the Wild City Couch was there. Underneath all of it were everyone's dead bodies! I'd rather have it so there weren't dead bodies!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .





[Excuse me.

What was there now?]

[nohalation]

[ur making a face]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

You know. I shared a dream with someone once. Where they kept reburying the same corpses over and over and over.

And yet they wouldn't stay in the ground.

Do you want to know why that was?

[nohalation]

Why?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Because they could never stop feeling guilty about it.

[nohalation]

Ohhhh...

[(unsure)]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

So.

Why were there dead bodies in FiN? We haven't died in a game for a fairly long stretch of time.

[nohalation]

Hmm. I think . . . it was a reminder? If I tried to save everyone in Imeeji, our unit would take the consequences. I do not want that.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Those deaths resulted from decisions we made as a unit. You don't bear the brunt of that burden alone.

[nohalation]

I know. But "Dusk of Halation" would have made many decisions on her own, including the decision to try and save everyone in Imeeji. If I was to follow that same path here, I would not be happy.

I am Dusk of Halation, but I am also Angel of Future is Now. In a perfect world, I could save everyone and none of us would have to die for it. Imeeji is not that perfect world. We have to pick and choose who to save and who to die, and sometimes we do not have the choice to protect everyone. Sometimes our choices could hurt each other, too. Sometimes our choices mean that we will die anyway. It has been a while since we died, true, but that does not mean we do not carry those scars still.

But I do not regret it.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

But you choose to remember it in terms of consequences paid rather than the subsequent times you have saved FiN?

[nohalation]

[taps chin]

Maybe it is both? Because I choose to save FiN, but that means consequences.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

And is there a way to fix that?

[nohalation]

...I don't know...

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Perhaps we're approaching this from the wrong angle.

Angel.

What is your ideal world?

[nohalation]

...

[leans back against the sofa]

...It's hard to answer that.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Of course it is. When have I ever gone easy on you?

[nohalation]

What would be my ideal world? It seems strange to want to wish for anything more than what I already have, and I do have so much while I am here.

Maybe...If anything, I guess a place where no one has to die.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[That seems like such a low bar, but you know what? He'll take it!]

Then I hope to see at least that much next time the producers play open house on your soul.

[nohalation]

I will try. But I would just rather no one go into my soul, I think.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[A bit of a tired sigh]

Wouldn't we all?

[nohalation]

Yes, I would think so.

[pat pat pat.]

...Perhaps I am just not someone who is very good at creating an ideal world especially when I am not unhappy with what I have here. It is not perfect, but I became me because of this world.