PSEUDO-UNITSWAP GAME

[opening_act]

Who: Calling all units
Where: To the game tower and back
When: Day 215, Afternoon

[ When you find yourself in the game tower elevator, Exael's hologram is stage-whispering, one hand aside her mouth as she leans in like she's sharing a secret. ]

Shhh, shhh, everyone let's not spoil the surprise! I can't wait to see them, all topsy-turvy and mixed up, and in all new cute stage outfits too! It's a challenge for all our idols, all of them given each other's scripts. Anyway, it's starting soon, so let's dim the lights and start the show!

[ And her hologram vanishes, as the elevator comes to a halt. And lets you off… in your own dorm? But something's different. Something is very different.

Your phone vibrates, and you can see your lives and aesthetic have been temporarily reassigned. ]

Comments

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

...

Did one of your unitmates get stuck like that?

[irregular]

Huh?

[oh God has senpai noticed him?

[you know, like. Terrifying overly-tall senpai who's now dressed like a gangster, but one of the proper ones who's gotten too big of an executive bastard for disco suits.]

Oh, I think it's mine? For now, anyway. See, there's this thing... it's, um...

[Phone, help me out here.]

'Mascot animal'. So... like an animal sidekick?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .

You just get one of those?

[Why has he not seen this before?!]

[irregular]

I guess we must do... Wild City, I mean.

I haven't seen 'em around. It's weird. You wouldn't miss something like this.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Hmmm.

[And he taps his chin thoughtfully]

I'm not sure I pegged you as the tiger type.

[irregular]

Well, my name's 'Siberian'. On my profile. Guess someone thought it fitted. And was more interesting than 'hey, now you're a cat'.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

I see.

...

You really should sell it as C getting stuck like that though.

Something something once a prankster---

[Vague hand motion]

[irregular]

Wouldn't C be like... an octopus or a - a trilobiote or something? Horse is about as normal as he'd get.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Hn.

[Taps his chin.]

If Q is a fox and B is a cat and X is a dog.

Well then. We're starting to run out of letters of the alphabet.

[irregular]

You ain't wrong. We had a '1' for a hot minute.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .

1.

Really?

... This was the one who claimed herself emperor or something, wasn't it?

[Maybe he wasn't fully paying attention when B told him this story]