medical/self-care live!

[sancrimony]

Who: some cute nurses & you
Where: the lobby + wherever if you want a housecall
When: day 131, noon

[ hope everyone is resting well! or maybe keeping busy, as one does after horrible trauma. some sensitIVs are doing just that - actually, it's been a while since lucifel's called a live, hasn't it? but he's in the lobby in a nurse outfit, with nya,  and possibly a few other sensitIVs who may or may not have been roped into wearing nurse outfits. it's mystery ]

Ahhh . . . Uhm, good morning, everyone -

[ somewhat nervously, or maybe self-conscious, ]

It's been a while, hasn't it? Not for any good reason either, but - in any case, we thought it would be good to have something like this again . . . that is -

Hello! This is a medical checkup Live, since we've had a rough couple of days. Uhm, if you would like to get a checkup, we'll be here in the lobby! Even if you don't feel it's necessary, we've arranged to have some comforts here, if you'd like to stop by for some self-care, instead!

[ camera swivel to the lobby which has a bunch of dakimakuras (stripped of their covers so you're not looking at lewds) and blankets, some of them raised up like someone's taken boxes to make them into tables and put a blanket over it so it looks nicer. on them are a few kettles and teapots, mismatched like someone gathered pretty much every tea dispenser he could. there are also a few trays of sweets - desserts from the café, as well as fruits to be cut up, as well as like, ice cream and Japanese snacks like purin and senbei. there is probably literally a boxtable that is entirely just mandarin oranges. ]

. . . Uhm . . .

[ with the camera back to lucifel, who looks somewhat conflicted - though overall grateful, ]

Speaking personally for a moment - it was really comforting to have people by my side, yesterday - so thank you . . . Even though I was a mess who couldn't stop crying . . .

. . . And - in the end, it made me feel a lot better, and I understood just then that crying can bring great relief! So - uhm, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to your troubles, or a lap to rest your head on, or someone to hug or wrestle to get rid of stress - well, I don't know if we're all able to do that here but we'll do our best to help you how we can!

[ and he gives an earnest smile, there ]

I'm still - uhm, learning . . . quite a lot of things, so this is the best I could think of for "self care", but if you have an idea for the future, I'd be most grateful to know it!

[ then, a beat ]

Ahh, but it's understandable that you might not want to relax around some people, so - well - for this reason, we decided against visiting every dorm like we did before, but -

If you'd like one of us to make a housecall to your dorm instead, then please send a text to your preferred healer on duty, and we'll be on the way! If you really can't tolerate any of us, then . . . well, it would be best to get as many points as you can, since this last game was really bad for scars, but - well, in any case, we'll do our best to stay out of your way, so please let us know in advance as well, or otherwise spend some time outside of the lobby, please! We've made a border  -

[ with a gesture to the line of pillows where all dakimakura and blanket and foodnonsense stops  ]

- for you to have a clear walkway, so please bear with our intrusion for the next couple of hours!

[ cheerily. ok lucifel signing off ]

sensitIVs | HOUSECALLS/TEXTS | Bring Your Own Toplevels | TOPLEVELS ONLY

Comments

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

So you remain "your" worst enemy.

And where does that put Doodleman in your --- dare I say --- normal life?

1/4

[sancrimony]

Where does that put him . . .

[sancrimony]

[ glancing down to his lap for a moment, heat rising to his cheeks as his lips press together into a thin line, but it isn't enough to hold back the

absolutely

stupidest

smile he could possibly have on his face ]

[sancrimony]

[ takes a breath ]

[sancrimony]

Well -

For now, he is my Avenger, and I am his Ruler -

Is what we decided on . . . ?

[ perish from the exposure of these lovey dovey beams ]

1/2

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[







Really?

R E A L L Y ?

(He just might actually die from over-exposure to happiness radiation right now)]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

So dueling.

Got it.

[sancrimony]

?

Dueling . . . ?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

You've settled on titles that mark you as rivals above all else.

[sancrimony]

. . .

. . . . . . Thinking about it that way is just fine with me!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

So that's one more relationship you want to protect.

[sancrimony]

[ with a pause - pain distinctly crosses his expression - and his smile becomes more somber ]

. . . It would be good, if it could be protected. I'd like to . . . no, I don't know how I'll handle it when he passes on. I want to protect it for as long as I can - I want to protect him for as long as I can.

It would be fine, if it was just me who felt that way, but . . .

Since he feels that way too, it's only making his condition worse.

. . . So, it's a relationship I want to protect until he passes on. It's something "I'm" going to wait out. There's nothing more effective than that, against him.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Looks confused for a moment as he tries to puzzle that all together]

I thought he was a ... spirit. Like you. Though of slightly different make, but you weren't exactly conventional either.

Why would he pass on before you?

[sancrimony]

. . . Originally, he was . . . just a grudge leftover from an unwilling sacrificial lamb. Originally, he was shapeless, formless. Nothing but hate.

The person you see him as is the shape he can take because he based it off of a human. But, his core is still the same - that vengeance, that hate.

So . . .

Losing that core is losing himself. When I say that he will pass on, I mean that "Avenger" will. So the person left behind won't be . . .

[ glancing to the side, murmuring quieter ]

Anything like him. Not in the ways that matter.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[There is even a longer pause to that admission]







Could you live with that happening?

[sancrimony]

"I" can. "I" will.

. . .


. . .

If I could now choose, whether to be with him in exchange for his death, or be away from him in exchange for his life -

. . .

"I" couldn't allow that. I wanted to save him, somehow. I still want to . . .

I still want to save him. But not . . .

. . .

[ spoken like a confession, quiet and low ]

I want to save the person that he is now, even if it means never letting that wound heal. ...Selfishly, I want to keep him alive, even if it's just for me.

But, "I" also knew, somewhere - somehow, that this would be a possibility, and this was part of "my" design.

So . . .

I'll have to live with it. It isn't a matter of could or couldn't.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

If he is your true rival, he's going to see right through your and "your" ploy and do whatever the fuck he wants.

Or do you not respect him enough for that?

[sancrimony]

. . . I respect him enough.

I must admit part of me is waiting for it.


. . . But, right now, it seems like he's going through death throes.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

As in he is unwittingly falling into becoming something that he isn't?

[sancrimony]

Right.

[ lacing his fingers together, quiet for a moment ]

. . . Almost ten days ago, he said it. "I love you too". He couldn't say that before.

[ it sounds wonderful but his voice is thick with emotion like he's on the verge of tears ]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Too, huh? So you got the words that you wanted. Like a fucking monkey paw wish.

1/3

[sancrimony]

- I! Was fine with it! If he had never said those words to me, I would have been fine with it - I didn't start loving him, expecting to be loved back!!

[ abruptly, his composure completely lost now - like a sudden child's tantrum ]

Why - why, why, why - why did he -

[sancrimony]

[ and then it shutters to a stop, a hand coming up to cover his mouth ]

3/4 actually

[sancrimony]

[ after he's swallowed thick, like he's bundled the cry up and tied it to a rock and the sound is him dropping that rock into the sea - his tone is barely controlled, a harsh whisper as if the quiet of his voice could make up for the sudden loudness earlier ]

- . . . Sorry. My apologies. ... In any case, there's nothing to be done about it now. He's already said it, and he's already . . .

The pebble has already become a boulder, and it can't be stopped now by any means -

[ with a pause, and then he swallows again - this time, like he's ingesting something bitter ]

- . . . any means that I can bear.

. . . And, most of all, I think . . . he's accepted it. At this point, struggling would be . . .

[sancrimony]

. . . Well.

[ bitterly, bitterly, bitterly smiling, ]

He's like the water of a river, that person - he runs down the path of least resistance. His laziness is his fatal flaw, I suppose. That is, I think, a little like how it was back in our world, too.

And -

Beyond that, between choosing to preserve his identity at the cost of what he's already tasted, or keeping that which he finds dear close to his chest, even at the cost of his identity . . . He's already . . .

He wants to protect the latter. Even if it means the end of his life, I'm sure. So -

[ and he brings both palms up to press to his eyelids now, not quite crying but his eyes are burning ]

- So. So . . .

[ no, that's the end of what he had to say ]