medical/self-care live!

[sancrimony]

Who: some cute nurses & you
Where: the lobby + wherever if you want a housecall
When: day 131, noon

[ hope everyone is resting well! or maybe keeping busy, as one does after horrible trauma. some sensitIVs are doing just that - actually, it's been a while since lucifel's called a live, hasn't it? but he's in the lobby in a nurse outfit, with nya,  and possibly a few other sensitIVs who may or may not have been roped into wearing nurse outfits. it's mystery ]

Ahhh . . . Uhm, good morning, everyone -

[ somewhat nervously, or maybe self-conscious, ]

It's been a while, hasn't it? Not for any good reason either, but - in any case, we thought it would be good to have something like this again . . . that is -

Hello! This is a medical checkup Live, since we've had a rough couple of days. Uhm, if you would like to get a checkup, we'll be here in the lobby! Even if you don't feel it's necessary, we've arranged to have some comforts here, if you'd like to stop by for some self-care, instead!

[ camera swivel to the lobby which has a bunch of dakimakuras (stripped of their covers so you're not looking at lewds) and blankets, some of them raised up like someone's taken boxes to make them into tables and put a blanket over it so it looks nicer. on them are a few kettles and teapots, mismatched like someone gathered pretty much every tea dispenser he could. there are also a few trays of sweets - desserts from the café, as well as fruits to be cut up, as well as like, ice cream and Japanese snacks like purin and senbei. there is probably literally a boxtable that is entirely just mandarin oranges. ]

. . . Uhm . . .

[ with the camera back to lucifel, who looks somewhat conflicted - though overall grateful, ]

Speaking personally for a moment - it was really comforting to have people by my side, yesterday - so thank you . . . Even though I was a mess who couldn't stop crying . . .

. . . And - in the end, it made me feel a lot better, and I understood just then that crying can bring great relief! So - uhm, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to your troubles, or a lap to rest your head on, or someone to hug or wrestle to get rid of stress - well, I don't know if we're all able to do that here but we'll do our best to help you how we can!

[ and he gives an earnest smile, there ]

I'm still - uhm, learning . . . quite a lot of things, so this is the best I could think of for "self care", but if you have an idea for the future, I'd be most grateful to know it!

[ then, a beat ]

Ahh, but it's understandable that you might not want to relax around some people, so - well - for this reason, we decided against visiting every dorm like we did before, but -

If you'd like one of us to make a housecall to your dorm instead, then please send a text to your preferred healer on duty, and we'll be on the way! If you really can't tolerate any of us, then . . . well, it would be best to get as many points as you can, since this last game was really bad for scars, but - well, in any case, we'll do our best to stay out of your way, so please let us know in advance as well, or otherwise spend some time outside of the lobby, please! We've made a border  -

[ with a gesture to the line of pillows where all dakimakura and blanket and foodnonsense stops  ]

- for you to have a clear walkway, so please bear with our intrusion for the next couple of hours!

[ cheerily. ok lucifel signing off ]

sensitIVs | HOUSECALLS/TEXTS | Bring Your Own Toplevels | TOPLEVELS ONLY

Comments

[malignstar]

[ Leaning forward, still hugging pillow ]

Oh, on what?

[iamverybadass]

On several things, but first and foremost on our motto. "Wild City protects Wild City."

Do you know what it means?

[malignstar]

You protect each other above all else?

[iamverybadass]

In the simplest terms, yes. It's true we do everything we can to protect each other from injury and death, but those aren't the only things that can harm someone.

I know the name and unit of each person that my teammates care for. I know their faces. Even if Whisky isn't present, I=we know to avoid Zrael or Sensitiv unless we are forced to it. That kind of support extends outside of the games as well.

Wild City is...devoted to each other.

[malignstar]

Sounds nice. But how far does that care extend? Lovers? Friends? What happens if you have a teammate who wants to care for everyone? What happens if the team makes a decision that you personally cannot stomach? What happens if one member is close to a person that has hurt another member? How do you negotiate the ugly scenarios that aren't just about who lives and who dies?

[iamverybadass]

We make sacrifices. We do not force any single person to always bear the pain of being unable to protect someone, even if it means we all must take that pain sometimes.

Family from home, lovers, friends from home, friends made here... It extends as far as we have room to protect in each game. We discuss each time who we're prioritizing. Sometimes it changes because of the limits the game forces on us, but as I explained, we try to...share the burden of that.

We protected two units that we have significant bad history with in the castle game, because we value the feelings of our members over the grudges we hold. Haruto specifically told me that I shouldn't let their grudges color the friendships I make. My opinions and connections are my own, and they will respect them.

As for someone who wants to protect everyone... I would like to protect everyone. But I understand that it's impossible. I must either sacrifice my teammates, or I must sacrifice someone else. It is...always painful. But my teammates are... ... I could not look them in the face if I made a decision that got them killed. I believe we all feel like that.

[malignstar]

I don't want my team to kill themselves or worse for others. I know that hurts them, but I can't make that feeling go away. If that's where things stand, if I can't accept what they need to the point that I lose my shit completely, maybe I'm not right for them. This isn't a sacrifice I can live with.

[iamverybadass]

... Have you spoken with them about it? In depth?

[malignstar]

Only Cobalt. While I was under that damn truth effect. But I've told them I wanted to protect Pep.

[iamverybadass]

You should talk to all of them. They cannot consider your feelings if you don't tell them.

[malignstar]

I did tell them I didn't want them to die! I can't force them if they want to protect people more than they want to live. I don't even begrudge them for it. I just also can't deal with it.

[iamverybadass]

Would you be able to deal with it any better if you left?

[malignstar]

I wouldn't have to worry about robbing them of their choice in a fit of anxiety.

[iamverybadass]

... Can you leave? Do you have one of the profile edits, or are you just...hoping?

[malignstar]

I have one...

[iamverybadass]

Does Pep!Pep! know that you're considering using it?

[malignstar]

[ Shoves pillow into his own face ]e

I'm... I'm not! Not really. It was just a thought... Just a stupid thought.

[iamverybadass]

A thought means you're considering it.

You must tell them that you are. They need to know how serious this is to you

[malignstar]

I don't want to pressure them. Cobalt already feels bad enough. And Yugi and Wednesday have S.O. issues to deal with. This is my hangup, not theirs. It's fine. I'll just... ask them to knock me out next time or something. It's fine.

[iamverybadass]

It is not fine. How can it be fine if your best "solution" is to ask them to knock you out? How well do you think that's going to go over with people who don't want to hurt anyone?

[malignstar]

It's not the first time I've asked them to knock me out. Sometimes I just need it. I'm not exactly the most stable all of the time.

[iamverybadass]

[ What is happening on other teams!! ]

I cannot believe...

If you will not listen to me, then that is your choice.

[malignstar]

Cannot believe what? I have a crazy alternate self that tries to hurt people. I've asked Pep to stop me when that happens so nobody gets hurt.

[iamverybadass]

........You have a what.

[malignstar]

You heard me. That's why it's selfish to ask them for anything else.