medical/self-care live!

[sancrimony]

Who: some cute nurses & you
Where: the lobby + wherever if you want a housecall
When: day 131, noon

[ hope everyone is resting well! or maybe keeping busy, as one does after horrible trauma. some sensitIVs are doing just that - actually, it's been a while since lucifel's called a live, hasn't it? but he's in the lobby in a nurse outfit, with nya,  and possibly a few other sensitIVs who may or may not have been roped into wearing nurse outfits. it's mystery ]

Ahhh . . . Uhm, good morning, everyone -

[ somewhat nervously, or maybe self-conscious, ]

It's been a while, hasn't it? Not for any good reason either, but - in any case, we thought it would be good to have something like this again . . . that is -

Hello! This is a medical checkup Live, since we've had a rough couple of days. Uhm, if you would like to get a checkup, we'll be here in the lobby! Even if you don't feel it's necessary, we've arranged to have some comforts here, if you'd like to stop by for some self-care, instead!

[ camera swivel to the lobby which has a bunch of dakimakuras (stripped of their covers so you're not looking at lewds) and blankets, some of them raised up like someone's taken boxes to make them into tables and put a blanket over it so it looks nicer. on them are a few kettles and teapots, mismatched like someone gathered pretty much every tea dispenser he could. there are also a few trays of sweets - desserts from the café, as well as fruits to be cut up, as well as like, ice cream and Japanese snacks like purin and senbei. there is probably literally a boxtable that is entirely just mandarin oranges. ]

. . . Uhm . . .

[ with the camera back to lucifel, who looks somewhat conflicted - though overall grateful, ]

Speaking personally for a moment - it was really comforting to have people by my side, yesterday - so thank you . . . Even though I was a mess who couldn't stop crying . . .

. . . And - in the end, it made me feel a lot better, and I understood just then that crying can bring great relief! So - uhm, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to your troubles, or a lap to rest your head on, or someone to hug or wrestle to get rid of stress - well, I don't know if we're all able to do that here but we'll do our best to help you how we can!

[ and he gives an earnest smile, there ]

I'm still - uhm, learning . . . quite a lot of things, so this is the best I could think of for "self care", but if you have an idea for the future, I'd be most grateful to know it!

[ then, a beat ]

Ahh, but it's understandable that you might not want to relax around some people, so - well - for this reason, we decided against visiting every dorm like we did before, but -

If you'd like one of us to make a housecall to your dorm instead, then please send a text to your preferred healer on duty, and we'll be on the way! If you really can't tolerate any of us, then . . . well, it would be best to get as many points as you can, since this last game was really bad for scars, but - well, in any case, we'll do our best to stay out of your way, so please let us know in advance as well, or otherwise spend some time outside of the lobby, please! We've made a border  -

[ with a gesture to the line of pillows where all dakimakura and blanket and foodnonsense stops  ]

- for you to have a clear walkway, so please bear with our intrusion for the next couple of hours!

[ cheerily. ok lucifel signing off ]

sensitIVs | HOUSECALLS/TEXTS | Bring Your Own Toplevels | TOPLEVELS ONLY

Comments

[iamverybadass]

No. That isn't how it works. It isn't how it should work.

[malignstar]

Then how should it work for a teammate who can suddenly turn into a liability?

[iamverybadass]

Exactly the same as it works for any other teammate. You treat them the same, and you help manage their liability when it surfaces.

It isn't selfish for them to ask for the same considerations and respect the rest of us get.

[malignstar]

... I just don't want them to feel helpless.

[iamverybadass]

Then involve them! How do you think they will feel if you let this go until you can no longer stand it and must change units? Do you want to subject them to that kind of powerless feeling, or will you trust them to support you?

[malignstar]

It's not like I've been constantly thinking about it! It's just... the way you described Wild City made me realize how badly I failed them. And now you want me to go tell them their decision, the one time they could actually save people, hurt me. After who knows how many people screamed and cried at them for the same thing. How can I do that to them? All I want is to protect them! They may not care what happens to them, but I do!

[iamverybadass]

I am telling you to tell them because they should know! A unit has a responsibility to each other, which means they have a responsibility to you as much as you do to them.

Do you actually plan on screaming and crying at them? Or would you consider their feelings while you explain your own?

[malignstar]

Of course I'm not going to scream at them.

[iamverybadass]

Then don't worry about the people who did. You are their teammate. If they're a good team, they will appreciate being told how much this matters to you. They should want everyone's voice to be heard.

[malignstar]

They are a good team!

[iamverybadass]

Then what in the hell are you so afraid of?

[malignstar]

... making them compromise their ideals for my sake. Again.

[iamverybadass]

Get over it. This place makes us all compromise our ideals. Wild City works because we all agree to compromise on the ideals that we hold.

You said before that the way I spoke about Wild City made you realize you were failing Pep. This is the failure. Refusing to even allow them the chance to consider you.

[malignstar]

The last time I made them consider me, I forced them to watch me fight to the death and devour someone for their sakes. Then, I forced them to let me go out and do it again, despite being direly injured. It devastated them and Heart Soldier. It almost cost me Cobalt's trust entirely.

I swore after that I would never let my need to protect them stand in the way of what they think is right ever again. I've been lucky until now. They've always tried to protect themselves in the end or I could protect them without interfering with their own decisions. This time... that wasn't the case.

We talked before this game, we talked about how we wanted to play. I said what mattered most to me was their safety. They said they valued their hearts over their bodies. That protecting their hearts was protecting them. I tried for a compromise, half and half. Protecting ourselves sometimes and sometimes favoring other units. Most said it was impossible, that it would only make things messier. I can see where they're coming from. So when they saw the situation this time, their decision was made immediately. To protect as many units as they could, especially those who always die. How could I stand against that just because I selfishly wanted to protect them?

If... I'm the odd one out, maybe I'm the one who's wrong.

[iamverybadass]

[ Talon isn't sure what he was expecting next, but it certainly wasn't this. He's thrown off, staring in a strange mix of alarm and confusion, a little horror just at the edges of it all. His mouth works soundlessly for a few moments before he finally manages to sputter something out ]

You are all idiots! How is forcing them to watch you die any better than them forcing you to watch their deaths! How are you all so bad at this?!

[malignstar]

I'm an idiot for not telling my team their wish to save others at the cost of themselves upset me? When I'm the only one who feels that way.

[iamverybadass]

You are all idiots! Every last one of you! All of you need to stop making each other watch you suffer and die!

[malignstar]

I learned my lesson! I fucked up and I hurt people. That's why I never pushed for anything like that since.

[iamverybadass]

And you are still upset enough to be considering a profile edit, even if you aren't likely to use it. That's not learning a lesson, that's giving up!

Aries fucked up and hurt people, and then he spoke with us! And he listened. And we heard what he had to say too! That is learning!

[malignstar]

I told you, we did talk. And I'm not giving up. It was just an idle thought...

[iamverybadass]

[ lets out a slow breath ]

It is a serious thought to have, even idly. If you truly are not giving up, then speak with them again. ...Ask them how you can help them. And tell them what you need in return. You will figure it out together.

[malignstar]

[ Normally, he would be inspired by this, he'd readily agree that of course they could figure this out together. But this is not a normal state for him. ]

... I'll see what I can do.

[iamverybadass]

[ Not quite the response he expected. But maybe it's because he isn't Silver? He knows he doesn't have the same charisma to wield. ]

...Mm. Good luck.

[malignstar]

[ Frowns for a moment and then reaches out to ruffle his hair ]

... don't make that face.

I'm just... out of sorts lately. And this is probably what I need to hear. It's just going to take a while for it to sink it properly. I need to figure out what I want to say... But I appreciate your worrying about us. I really do.

[iamverybadass]

[ Tenses up, but although he doesn't lean into it he doesn't try to avoid it either ]

I will make whatever face I like.

... Let me know how it goes.