Sad Peps Club House

[wonderlandgirl]

Who: Peps + (Un)invited Guests
Where: pep!pep! dorm
When: Day 129, Afternoon

[So, uh.

[Those were certainly some decisions we all made back there. Yup.

[Anyone for tea?]

Comments

[justfuckingtryit]

It's probably a little late for a tour.

Everyone's asleep already, right?

[we_meet_again]

Or trying to be, anyway. Everyone had a pretty bad day.

If you want to hang out, there's the lounge, or my room...?

[justfuckingtryit]

Whichever.

[we_meet_again]

...

...My room, then? I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'd like to ...talk, if that's okay.

[justfuckingtryit]

Yeah. Sure.

[we_meet_again]

[Leads him to his room and invites him in.

Cobalt's room is utilitarian and tidy, with a desk and bed you might expect to find in a dorm. There's a painting of Insomnia on the wall, as well as a sumi-e painting of a blue jay in flight. Other than that, there are a couple small toys and a notebook on the desk, but the room is pretty clean. THE THORN BODY PILLOW WAS CAREFULLY HIDDEN BEFORE HIS ARRIVAL]

[justfuckingtryit]

[Peers around a little, curious, but trying not to look like he's prying.]

...it's nice.

[we_meet_again]

Thank you.

[shuts the door behind them and sits down on the bed. It's rumpled and unmade only because he'd been trying to sleep in it a few minutes ago.

If Thorn wanted to sit, he could sit beside Cobalt on the bed or take the desk chair]

I put in for a window. Hopefully if comes in soon...

[he folds his hands, looking slightly anxious.]

[justfuckingtryit]

[Hesitates. He glances at the rumpled bed, then away again, before settling himself into the desk chair.]

It takes them a while.

We finally got our kitchen.

[we_meet_again]

Did you? Congratulations.

How is it?

[justfuckingtryit]

Shitty. It matches the rest of our dorm.

[Shrugs, with just one shoulder.]

We'll be able to cook with it, though, so I'm not complaining.

[we_meet_again]

That's good. Least you won't have to carry things all the way down to the hotel kitchen and back when you want to have a meal at home. That's pretty nice.

[justfuckingtryit]

Mm. I've been thinking about it off and on, since that one game.

...anyway. You wanted to talk?

[we_meet_again]

Yeah.

...I've been thinking a lot, since the game ended. I just kinda wanted to apologize to you again.

I know how difficult it is when bad things happen to people you care about. We were so desperate to keep ourselves from feeling that kind of emotional pain that we took all that fear and stress and handed it off to you, instead. And that was super unfair. Especially -- especially after I'd already asked you to look after yourself, for exactly this reason. And then I turned right around and did this to you.

So I'm... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Lumen.

I want to do better to be worthy of whatever care you place in me. And I want you to know that I won't do this again. Obviously, I can't promise that we'll always be okay, or that we won't have to make compromises or take risks in games. But I will promise that I won't set out to play this way again, and I'll try to be be more careful to respect your feelings.

Thank you for caring about me. I'm sorry I did that to you.

[justfuckingtryit]

[His expression sure does take a journey during all of that, beginning with taken aback -]

[justfuckingtryit]

[- followed by something unreadable, but softer -]

[justfuckingtryit]

[- and then something else, mostly hidden behind his hair.]

...you don't have to keep apologizing.

[we_meet_again]

I just... wanted you to know.

I doubt my unit will play this way again, but if it does, you'll know I'm not present. Same goes for Wednesday, and probably Sunshine, too.

[justfuckingtryit]

[Nods, slowly.]

Okay.

[He hesitates - hesitates longer.]

I know it's a lot to ask. So... thanks.

[we_meet_again]

If anyone gets to ask, it should be you.



And, um. I know this might be a lot to ask, too, but...


...could I...





...could I hold your hand?

[justfuckingtryit]

[The hesitation is longer, this time. Probably it involves some consideration of distance and positioning, because when Thorn moves at last, it's to stand and take a few steps closer to the bed so that he can sit down beside Cobalt.]

[A beat or two later, he holds out his hand, palm up, like an offer.]

[we_meet_again]

[He hesitates a beat as well, considering that offered palm... before he reaches up and delicately cups it in his own.



He leans down and -- haltingly, reverently -- places a kiss in Thorn's palm.

After a beat, he withdraws, sandwiching Thorn's hand between his own.

He's slightly pink, staring at the hands and the bed and the floor and definitely not Thorn's face.]

[justfuckingtryit]

[He goes very tense at the kiss, and oddly still. His gaze is fixed on the floor, as well - intent and focused.]

[He doesn't say anything for a long, long time - but eventually, he lifts his chin a little, to glance sidelong at Cobalt, gauging his expression.]

[we_meet_again]

[Cobalt's holding their clasped hands to his lips, now -- not kissing, this time, just holding them there, as if in prayer. His eyes are closed, and his expression is some combination of sad, scared, and grateful.]

[justfuckingtryit]

[He hesitates, and then hesitates longer.]

[Leans over, careful, to press a kiss to Cobalt's cheek.]