imeeji_frontstage | Sad Peps Club House

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Sad Peps Club House

Who: Peps + (Un)invited Guests
Where: pep!pep! dorm
When: Day 129, Afternoon

[So, uh.

[Those were certainly some decisions we all made back there. Yup.

[Anyone for tea?]

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...?

By who?

Thorn and Talon. Both are people whose trust is important to me, so if I do this again it means I'm not worthy of it.

I see.

Does the rest of the team feel the same way?

Yugi, Wednesday, and I are -- were -- the ones most inclined toward this kind of gameplay, I think. Which is exactly why this happened when all three of us got put in a room together.

Pink doesn't want to die at all. Sunshine and Sunrise are enablers who will try to find compromises. Nova is our newbie... I have no idea how she would want to play, yet.

Wednesday and I have promised not to do this again. And Sunshine... might me more assertive about what he wants after this, I hope.

So I can't promise this won't happen again, but if it does, it'll mean it was some combination of Yugi, Sunshine, and Sunrise playing. But none of the rest of us.

[ He mulls all of that over for a while, silent. Then he sighs. ]

Well, what I told you stands. It's not my place to override your team's wishes, whatever they are. And I can't see my team harmed again either way.

[a small, tired, and quietly relieved smile]

Thank you. That means a lot to me.

I really appreciate the respect for our wishes, even though it's pretty unlikely any of us will do this again.

And I also appreciate you looking out for your unit in the future. We all want you guys to be okay.

I. I want our unit to be okay, too.

How...

[ hesitates, like maybe he shouldn't ask, but ]

How are the rest of them doing?

Um, not great.

The reason why we played like that is because we're not okay. Watching our loved ones die over and over despite everything we try to do to stop it has pushed us to a breaking point. We can't... we can't take it any more.

So this time, in our desperation, anger, pain, and love, we did everything we could to stop that from happening again, because death would have been easier to bear than watching one more person we love die for us.

But after all of that, you still died anyway. And now people are blaming us for your deaths, when preventing that was literally the whole reason why we did this in the first place.

So I think everyone's kinda... in despair? Hopeless? Because even when we played in a way we finally felt we could live with, the outcome didn't change, and our loved ones still died, and all the people who care about us are hurt and angry. We're all kinda collapsing into ourselves with grief and guilt right now.

...[he rubs the back of his neck, pensive.]

I don't know where we're going to go from here. I guess we have to figure that out. Play in a way we hate for the sake of others, play in a way others hate for the sake of ourselves... I think even the middle ground is going to require some degree of just -- giving up, and not fighting for what we want or what we care about, at this point.

Yugi's angry, Wednesday's falling apart, Sunshine's a wreck because I think he tried to hurt himself to support us -- which none of us wanted, so that's another layer of unhappiness on top of everything. Pink and Sunrise weren't at the game but they've been doing their best to run interference while everyone has been taking turns yelling at us.

It's been a lot.

[ He's not sure exactly what to say. Not when there really aren't any good answers. Not when he's still upset himself. Not when he just wants to burn this whole place to the ground. ]

...

I wish I had advice to offer, but I don't. All I know is that... all of you are strong. And it sounds like you still have each other, no matter the bad that's happening. So I'm confident you'll all pull through, in time.

Thank you. I think we'll be okay.

Also. Um. I want to apologize.

It's a horrible thing, to watch someone you care about get hurt. We were so desperate to not go through that again that we took all that fear and stress and shoved it all on you to deal with, instead. That was really unfair. It put you in a position where you had to choose between risking the life of your entire unit or letting your most important person die.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, King. That was a terrible thing to do to you.

[ He looks taken aback, like this wasn't something he remotely expected. But his expression eventually resolves into something that's just quietly tired. ]

... Thank you, Cobalt.

I accept, of course.

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Sad Peps Club House

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