LIVE!

[furrytailprince]

Who: Okami and whoever
Where: The Library
When: Day 89, anytime before murder

The Live notification goes off to show Okami looking tired and unkempt. He's seated at a table in the library with reams and reams of paper, as well as various ink sketches spread across the whole of the table. It would probably be more of an inconvenience to library users if it wasn't so early in the morning.

Oddly enough, there does seem to be some order to this madness. One side of the table is full of pictures of idols in various states of despair or alarm following the results of the worst games, most of these being people Okami either doesn't know or has negative feelings toward. Interestingly enough, though many of the scenes must have been captured during times of extreme injury, the artwork is focused solely on the close-ups of the idols' expressions at the time rather than the grisly violence.

The other side seems to capture more lighthearted moments, affectionate kisses, cheerful smiles or grateful looks. This side, naturally, is focused primarily on the people Okami knows and regards highly.

The sketches seem to include a good many people of Fauxtokyo. Just how long has he been at this before he started the live? But the one common theme about both sets is the rapid, fierce style in which they are rendered, as if they have been ripped violently from someone's memory and set to paper before the image can disappear. The paintings aren't as precise as others that Okami has done in past sessions, with splatters of ink and something more rusty-colored marring what should be fairly detailed work, along with uncovered parts of the table as well.

Okami works swiftly through the live, splashing more images of either type onto the next page. Along with specks of bright blood that seems to be dripping down the quill from where he grips it in his fingers. Well, that's a thing that happened.

Comments

[furrytailprince]

I turn others against me. This makes them more likely to dismiss Taisho or otherwise wish us harm.

[ididntsaybanana]

That's not something to put on your shoulders all by itself. By that logic we'd have to play nicey nice with everyone to make sure they don't do that to Taisho.

[furrytailprince]

... I do not want to be a disappointment.

[ididntsaybanana]

You aren't a disappointment to me.

[furrytailprince]

[ Looks up again, ears twitching slightly and his gaze is terribly sad ]

... I appreciate the sentiment. Truly.

But I can no longer couch myself in the comfort of those who have yet to see me at my worst. It is false reassurance. I am a disappointment to myself. And... I want to be someone who does not have to hide myself behind such biased reassurances. That is not strength, it is a crutch.

[ididntsaybanana]

There's nobody in existence that's perfect. There's nobody here that's perfect. You're you and that matters because there's only one of you. Trying to change yourself is fine- a lot of people want to change something about themselves. But don't put yourself down so much like this because it can hurt the ones who care about you.

[furrytailprince]

Put myself down?

[ididntsaybanana]

That's what you're doing by saying you're to blame for if no one helps Taisho.

[furrytailprince]

... I do not believe I am entirely to blame. But it cannot be denied that it is a factor. One that does not have to be present.

[ididntsaybanana]

Then I probably contribute to that too considering I'm an asshole and can be abrasive as fuck to people without needing a reason.

[furrytailprince]

And who would consider you like that?

[ididntsaybanana]

My dance team back home.

[furrytailprince]

And what would you say brings out this side of you? I have certainly never witnessed it.

[ididntsaybanana]

I expect people to work hard and diligently at what they need to do. Anything less than that warrants me being hard on a person.

And sometimes all I need is a bad day to lash out at someone.

It's not something I enjoy; it's just how I work at times. And it's probably something I should change about myself.

[furrytailprince]

I see nothing wrong in expecting the best of someone, especially when it comes to a performance. What do you mean lash out?

[ididntsaybanana]

I'll insult a person or, if I find what they've said incredibly insensitive or insulting, I'll punch them.

[furrytailprince]

Ah, punching might be somewhat extreme... Have you done that here?

[ididntsaybanana]

Not yet.

[furrytailprince]

Then it sounds as though you have some control over your faults.

[ididntsaybanana]

That might change the more memories I retrieve. I'm still not . . .

[ he pauses as he thinks about how to say it ]

Just like these drawings, the person I am now isn't fully me in its entirety.

[furrytailprince]

[ At least, Baron's drawing is him looking pleased during the kissing game ]

I can understand that. I suppose the same can be said about most of us.

[ididntsaybanana]

Things can change for better or for worse. The important thing is that we accept ourselves as best as we can while those changes happen.

[furrytailprince]

... I cannot. Not yet.

[ididntsaybanana]

You can't, but I can accept you as you are now.

[furrytailprince]

Then accept that I want to be someone else. I cannot stay as I am. It will only bring us more misfortune.