imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

If we are going to do a heart to heart, fair that we should do turns? Also, let's drop off these off first. I don't think this is going to be a short chat.

That's probably a good idea. I actually have a lot of things I'd like to talk to you about, now that I'm... more capable of it.

[the elevator doors open and he heads inside, holding the door open with his foot so Nine-Nine can come in]

We can talk in the dorm, though King and Corona are over, so... if you want to talk somewhere else, that's fine too.

I hope you don't blame yourself for needing a minute or more. That's shows a level of maturity.

[Shaking his head.]

A walk perhaps. I don't feel comfortable around King or Corona at the moment.

[But he will dump off whatever he was carrying on the closest table before going back to wait outside the pep!pep! dorm.]

That's fair.

[Drops off the rations in the dorm, then leads the way to start meandering around the hotel while they talk.]

So, what are your thoughts on the game?

I'm surprised. Really surprised actually. I spent quite a bit of the game trying to figure out how to create conflict for the sake of not having a repeat of the grayness we had before. Looking at the highlights, after... I shouldn't even had bothered. What everyone else was able to do with their fears, sense of justice, misplaced whatever was more effective than any plan I put into place.

So I apologize for causing you and Anubis so much grief. And Yugi... to an extent.

That surprised me, too. I didn't expect everyone to go quite that hard.

I, um... I missed the beginning of the fight, obviously... did Corona consent to that? And were you really trying to kill him?

No, he absolutely did not. Nor did Anubis. Was I trying to kill him? That's a good question. I was trying to make it an uneven fight for sure, with two against one even though I apparently incorrectly chose what would spark Anubis to fight. But would I have killed him had the opportunity presented itself. I want to say yes, but I'm not quite sure.

You were trying to get the both of them to fight you for the sake of conflict, huh?

After seeing the results of the game, do you think you have some avenues for consensual fighting in the future? Or does consent defeat the purpose?

It does't matter anymore. Others have taken up the mantle of causing conflict so I no longer have to worry about facing that particular dilemma anymore. I can focus my time back on what is really important, trying to figure out more about the Producers that hold us captive. I'm both relieved and disappointed at the same time as I'm afraid it is going to spill outside of games which doesn't help anyone.

And now it is your turn, your thoughts on the game?

Edited 2019-01-13 02:53 (UTC)

I'm also concerned -- really concerned -- about violence escaping the game this time.

Nobody was possessed, and there were no punishments for not participating... it makes all the damage feel so much more personal and unnecessary and difficult to forgive. I didn't fight anyone but even I'm angry and upset. I feel like the purpose of this game was to generate grudges.

You should be concerned. I know I am.

I wouldn't go so far to say there was no punishment for participating. The games have always been fond of finding ways of discouraging loop holes and finding clever ways out. They brought us there to play the game and if everyone had just sat back I assure you the consequences after game would have been dire.

But you are correct, this game brought out a lot of personal grudges. It's hard to refute that certain actions could not have been taken like with the Monster game as the actions were limited.

So now I have to ask the uncomfortable question. Feel free not to answer. How upset are you with my actions?

I'm not sure I agree with the part about game consequences, but there's no way to know for sure at this point so I'm not gonna argue.

As for being upset with you... man, I don't even know. I was sad that you died, but it seemed to be something you were trying very hard to make happen, and you also seem to be coping with it fine and not resenting anyone for it... So maybe that part's not a big deal? And you did it out of some weird expression of love instead of malice.

I'm probably not as upset as I would have been if you'd actually killed Corona or Anubis. I think your actions probably hurt the both of them more than me, and I think those are problems you guys all need to work out between yourselves, if you haven't already. I also know Corona killed you in another round so like... everything's complicated.

But I still care about you and wanna hang out and stuff so... I guess, in the end, the answer to "how upset am I" is "not very."

Edited 2019-01-13 22:44 (UTC)

Anubis and I will figure things out. He does tend to have better ideas than I do, and I use him as a sounding board when I can. But he can be terribly stubborn. Ha! But then again so can I. But yes, we'll work it out.

Yugi, I'm not quite so sure. I didn't touch him in the second round. He was all in his own sane mind. And I really wouldn't care if he killed me, but it was more the manner in which it happened that is unsettling. I'm currently having the same issue with Sunshine, but Sunshine I at least I understand what happened. I'm not going to hold a grudge against him, but he needs to get that shit sorted. Yugi, though, he's a mystery. I don't even really quite know how to approach it.

But I'm glad you aren't too upset. I'd hate to loose our friendship over it. Though the fact that we can talk about it what allows us to stay friends.

Yeah, I'm glad to talk about it, too.

Could you tell me what happened with Sunshine? He mentioned you guys had a fight but he doesn't remember much about it.

We've had two actually. And I think it helps to talk about both.

We fought against each other in that monster game. He was feeling quite terrible about killing Oni the round before so he refused to fight. The game being as it was, we were eventually forced. He was quite vicious for a person just a moment before trying to avoid the battle. I chalked it up to game itself and its effects. When we talked about it later, he was odd. I couldn't put my finger on it until after this game, but he didn't remember fighting me.

So we decided on a match with no hard feelings for the victor, found a secluded spot, and began. I used Machai Provocation on him to bring out his full potential. Had I know he had a fucking demon in his head, I wouldn't have used it. We fought and it was fairly even, I had him pinned, and then he just went berserk. I'm not sure what caused it. I actually had no intention of dying in our death match so I tried to depart upon getting severely injured. He would have killed me then and there, but someone from Lilis jumped in the way, bless her heart.

I fled to the next room and he gave chase. The only reason I didn't end up a corpse that round is I had sleeping gas which I chucked at his face when he rounded the corner. Nemesis, Hurricane, and Requiem were there and literally sat on him until he awoke. He seemed to be himself again after that. That's when I found out about his inner personality.

Right. Apparently those were the first and third times it's happened to him. We're trying to figure out what, specifically, is setting him off.

Do you remember any details about what was happening the moment he berserked? Especially in the monster game, since neither of us knew what to watch for at the time. Was it when he got injured, or if he was in a certain position, or...?

[Tapping his head to remember.]

It's when he had to defend himself after his first real injury, I believe.

In the recent game... I picked up a sword and gave it to him before we fought. I couldn't use it, and he seemed keen on it. He did drop it at one point...

Perhaps when he's feeling particularly defenseless. Seems like an trigger that would make sense.

Hmm... He said he dropped the sword because he was afraid he'd use it on you, so I think that may have been on purpose, to a degree?

The working theory right now is that it happens when his back is pressed up to a wall or the ground, or when a fight gets serious enough to activate his survival instincts. He doesn't remember anything during that time.

It does seem like the way to snap him out of it is to either knock him out or put him to sleep, so... well done on that front.

What was he like when he was berserking?

Absolutely intent on murdering his aggressor. He had to push past a Lilis to get to me who was trying to stop him, and I wasn't exactly in top shape.

Whew. Okay.

The good news is that it seems like it only happens during really intense fights and not in regular situations, so I don't think we have much to worry about right now. He's pretty freaked out, though. I'm sure he's going to want to talk to you once he eventually feels okay being around people again.

Tell him I'm not upset at him, but yes, I will talk to him later. Honestly, it is probably best that someone with my personality took that particular hit than someone less ... understanding of general bad voices in your head.

And to be honest, I'm not comfortable around either of them right now. Being cornered is still a bit raw, but it will fade as these things do. But do pass on the message to Sunshine that I have no ill will towards him.

Alright, I'll pass that along.

[scrubs at his face]

Gosh, I'm so sorry you had such a bad time with my unitmates. Could you please tell me what happened with Corona? I already heard his side of the story, but I'd like to hear your perspective, too.

Sunshine and I had an agreement. Don't feel bad for me on that. Yugi, on the other hand.

[Can he face scrub, too, because hooooo-boy.]

I'm rather fond of Duality, but I believe he just needs a good kick to get started. I tried to encourage him to fight in the scrapyard, but that didn't go well, so I left.

[Failing a punch and picking the wrong emotion to amplify is 'encouraging' right?]

Yugi came with when I left. Then he, CEO, Angel, and Mori showed up, and well I didn't want to let an opportunity to pass by, so I told Yugi I was going to have some fun. He wanted me to use Machai Provocation on him, but I didn't. I wanted to see what he would do on his own and I asked him to team up with me.

We battled, so you probably no the rest of that. That other hero, Mori, decided that his friends life were in mortal peril - I don't see how with 3 from Future is Now plus their 3 assistants and himself against myself and perhaps Yugi --- but he took it as an opportunity to go all out. For being a hero, you think with such odds he would try to disarm or disable an enemy, but I'm digressing. Between CEO's shot and Mori's Heart Weapon, I'm surprised I even was able to leave the area, but I managed it somehow.

Then Yugi showed up and used your little zap ability on me, which by the way I really, really dislike now. Apparently that was all the coaxing I needed. Ah, but I didn't get to stay dead, instead he revived me and began to whine. At least you and Anubis had the kindness to leave me a corpse.

[Honestly he just wants to grab a pillow off a lobby couch and scream into it for five solid minutes]

Corona said he was angry at Intensity for defeating King in a duel in a previous round, and that's why he attacked him. Why did he shock you, though?

[Shrugs.]

You'll have to ask him, but I imagine it had something to do with me messing with his head the round before. Though I'm not sure why he agreed to fight alongside me. That's the piece I can't figure out.

Ah, the duel. I actually started in the same place as CEO and King. There is something between those two that they need to figure out. And if they both agree on a few death matches to get there, well, then that's what they need. But that is between them. It wasn't forced.

[Tilting his head at Cobalt.]

I'm not going to go into a revenge spiral with Yugi if that is your concern. I gave my word to B to keep things civil outside of games, and I do intent to keep my word to him.