imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

[ That's more than fine; the needling just sharpens King's ~*~dueling instincts~*~ and he turns his attention back to the matter at hand: kicking Intensity's ass. ]

Who knows? Probably better off than you either way!

[ He peels abruptly right to avoid the first crater in the road, adrenaline telling him to go faster faster faster. ]

[Swerves to the other side of the crater, picking up speed as they reach the second one]

[ First crater avoided (that really is freezing cold water in there, isn't it, how about fuck that-) and he's almost ready to stay the course to avoid the second when he looks beyond it - stalagmites... made of ice? Scattered in such a way that he'll almost certainly have to make an impossible turn to avoid them if he comes out on this side of the crater. Or, y'know, just get gruesomely impaled or something.

At the last second, he's zipping left.

Think fast, Mr. CEO! ]

[Are you trying to cut into his turf? This is his side of the course, Your Fucking Excellency.

So if you want in, you're going to have to challenge this guy to a game of motorcycle chicken because fuck if he's moving over to accommodate]

[ Is that a serious question? Of course he is.

He's not backing down, either - even if it means wheel rims are knocking together in a shower of sparks. ]

[You obnoxious pain in the ass... How can he possibly be more obnoxious than you.

Wait.

Maybe if he...

Who cares that they are hurtling across ice at speeds way too fast to react properly to--- well anything? Intensity removes his right hand from the handle bars of his own motorcycle so he can try to grab a hold of the left one of King's]

Want to be pulled along at my speed? You could have fucking asked.

[ Seriously? Seriously??

This is no longer Mario Kart, this is now The Asshole Olympics. ]

Funny you say that. If you wanted to have a bonding moment so badly, I would have been happy to oblige without all the theatrics!

[ With Intensity now having anchored himself to his bike - thanks for that - he's swerving sharply right again, officially dragging Intensity along with him. Open pool of water ahead, what open pool of water ahead? They'll be fine! ]

[Bold of you to assume this was ever anything but The Asshole Olympics]

Like you fucking know how to do anything without theatr--- ...???!

[Wait.

Are you for serious?]

[ Some things you should have considered:

1. He's just as much of an adrenaline junkie as you
2. He's just as willing to escalate as you
3. Straight up fucking dying is an acceptable sacrifice for owning somebody
4. He's just as stupid as you, maybe even more so???

The break in the ice is fast approaching, but he does nothing to course correct until the last second - taking a gamble on his understanding of motorcycle physics from his previous redirection, he lurches them sharply out of the way, throwing one boot against the ice to control the spin.

That's right, we're spinning baby. ]

Ha!

[ They do a full 360, and assuming Intensity is still holding on, he lifts his foot as they straighten out and continue their voyage, the gap in the ice SOMEHOW successfully avoided. ]

[OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Congrats, King, you have managed to be more extra than Intensity and suddenly there is the very real thought of 'MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE THIRD TIME I DIE THIS WEEK' because FUCK if he's letting go. He's not going to give King the satisfaction (nor will he ever be able to look himself in the mirror again if he does).

But damn if Intensity doesn't hold his breath during the entire spin, fully expecting both them and their bikes to take a nice long drink---

anytime...

now]

[And it never happens.

And King carries on like it didn't fucking happen.

And something inside Intensity snaps (is it a break? is it a snapping into place? who knows) and his laughter is more of a quiet sinister chuckle than his usual grandstanding WAHAHAHAHAHA---]

Well played, Your Excellency. Well played.

[---as Intensity FLOORS it as they start approaching the frozen ice cavern part of the course]

My turn.

[ The unhinged laughter should probably be concerning, but instead it just satisfies him deeply. Point: King. ]

Really not giving up, are you?

[ He gasses it himself, the momentum just adding even more to their combined speed. ]

Was that stunt you pulled supposed to scare me? Ha! I was more spooked by SensitIV's dorm room than that parlor trick.

[Good. Fucking GOOD. Because they're banking this corner right before they head into the ice cavern, wheels skidding dangerously as they switch back from snow to ice again]

[ His eyes widen as they bank a little too sharply for comfort, but one or both of them must have a high enough luck stat to continue seeing them safely through. He focuses back up as the entrance to the cavern looms closer, its walls just a little too tight to be considered comfortable - he leans into Intensity's space to shove their fucked up caravan slightly left, not keen to eat shit on any ice walls.

Into the darkened cave they go! Not slowing down any for the lowered visibility, of course. ]

[Elbows him in the side when he gets a little too close]

Watch it.

[And yes, it is rather dark in here. And yes, some of those stalagmites on the ceiling sure don't look that secure.

Like the one that is coming down near them right now.

Now it's Intensity's turn to shove the two of them off to one side]

[ exCUSE you! ]

Me? You—

[ Wait... is that?

He doesn't even see the stalagmite coming down until it's all but too late, so it's fortunate Intensity pushes them out of the way. Even then, they're being showered in ice shards that have him ducking to cover his eyes. ]

Damn-!

[Intensity lets go of Atem's motorcycle finally, flexing his fingers before regripping his own handlebar steadily. In the distance, there is the sound of more stalagmites crashing to the cavern floor.

But should they survive, the end of the course is just a couple hundred feet outside of the cave's exit]

See you at the finish line!

[ FINALLY. #FREEHIM

He recovers quickly, the jibe helping it along. With his vision clear, he puts all of his attention into flooring it, pushing the bike as hard as it can possibly go. Surely going fast will make it easier to dodge the falling ice! He weaves sharply right to avoid exactly that, which has the unfortunate effect of making him think he's right. ]

I'll be sure to wave back at you!

[Bro, are you sure you want to---

Oh fuck. No time to think about that now as a rather large chunk of ice is about to fall in Intensity's path, forcing him to swerve off the optimal course to avoid some part of him getting skewered]

[ King doesn't look back, even as an ice spike comes down on his back tire and causes the entire bike to jerk dangerously. He grits his teeth and leans hard on the gas, the momentum helping to offset the wobble of the bike and prevent him toppling over right then and there.

And once he clears the cavern... he's hurtling full speed for the finish line. ]

[Did that fucking hit his bike? How the fuck did King not eat pavement? Was he really a closet expert motorcyclist all along!?

Unfortunately the drawback to having all of these angry thoughts is that they take time and energy. And delay the realization that King is already almost at the exit]

Fuck.

[Careens his bike dangerously at an angle in an attempt to make up lost distance]

[ Sleeper agent motorcycle expert, that's him alright.

His luck stat, somehow, carried him this far - there's nothing but open track between him and the finish line, and his peripheral vision is clear of his opponent. There's nothing left to do but floor it.

Any last tricks up your sleeve Mr. CEO? ]

[MAYBE IF HE HAD FUCKING BOUGHT THAT GUN LIKE HE WAS PLANNING ON DOING]

[ YOU CAN'T JUST BRING A GUN TO MARIO KART INTENSITY JESUS CHRIST

But fine, he's blazing across the finish line with all the dumb fanfare that entails. One can only hope there isn't also confetti. ]

[WHO SAYS HE CAN'T?! Fuck, he should have programmed in a blue turtle shell instead. He was a FOOL!

But of course, there are trumpets blaring, a cheering faceless mannequin crowd, and all manners of streamers, confetti and balloons when King crosses the finish line.

Have fun picking that out of your hair, Your Excellency.

Intensity's bike comes screeching to a halt next to King about 30 seconds later.]

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