imeeji_frontstage | (no subject)

[ She's quiet as she listens, which isn't an unfamiliar or strange thing. Intent, even, as she considers his words and feelings. Her arms drop to her sides before moving for one hand to grip another with at the elbow.

Brows knitting together as she considers and then exhales, ]

That's probably why I left yesterday. [ She's not apologizing for it, but she continues. ] I can't imagine being someone I wasn't - I don't want to be. It's not like we come here as completely blank slates... I know that when something upsets me it's easier to take it out on something because that came naturally. [ And she's sure that his curiosity and inventiveness didn't come out over night, or anyone else's. Their personalities don't completely change. ]

But it is difficult when you don't know. Just not knowing my name frustrates me enough I want to hit something. [ She doesn't, it's a point as she makes a face, raises a shoulder and lowers it as she looks away - ] There's still just a part of me... I don't want any other name unless it's mine, you know?

[ Probably not exactly, but it's a point. ]

[ A quiet beat and then. ]

I just don't want to change in such a drastic way as everyone mentions. I won't.

[ Because she's Astrid and stubborn, but him knowing her terrified her approximately because she didn't want to be seen in this way. ]

[He watches her, largely. Only looking forward to make sure he doesn't walk into anything, but he wants to hear her, understand what's going on in her head.]

[He considers it, and it makes sense. Astrid changed her mind, sure, but Astrid didn't really change too much that he could tell. Hating dragons was not an Astrid thing. Pride as a warrior, protecting the village, THAT was Astrid, and she had thought fighting dragons was it. When hating dragons wasn't ultimately the way to achieve those goals, of course she would change her mind. Everything he could remember of her, the core of her was the same, even as some of the details shifted.]

[His hands tap at his thighs, clearly debating something for several long moments. Because he could say that he sees so much of the Astrid he remembers in her. Some differences, but honestly, he couldn't be sure if those were differences in Astrid or simply differences in their relationship.]

Do you...want your name? [He asks, testing. Because that was the reason to be silent. He didn't want to freak her out by showing how much he knew.]

[ Maybe it doesn't really make much sense - She doesn't really know who she is, but she knows what she'd want to be. Strong, someone who could protect others, brave. Those are things that haven't shaken from her and yet. ]

[ He's quiet and she almost wants to say something to break the silence, but then he speaks again and her heart twists just a touch. She tenses a moment and then lets it go in a breath through her teeth - frustrated, not angry. ]

Of course I do.

Astrid.

Your name is Astrid Hofferson.

[He looks forward, eyes trained ahead.] I think...the people here, who disconnect the most from themselves, are people who changed a lot. Not just 'life happens and you change,' but extreme change. Some core stuff stayed the same in me, sure...but the people who knew me at fifteen weren't likely to guess how I'd be at twenty. I certainly wouldn't have.

But... [He looks at her again.] I don't think anyone who knew you at fifteen would be surprised how you turned out at twenty.

Edited 2022-09-28 06:51 (UTC)

[ Astrid. Hearing it doesn't make it sound anymore like her own, but that's just... The memoryloss. There's no real sense of loss at being told it, but it's still funny. How even a name can sound foreign. ]

[ She runs her hand along her elbow before dropping it to her side, turning her attention back to him. ]

That's not your way of saying I didn't change at all, is it? [ Despite the touch grumpily way she says it, there's something in her tone that's more light than irritated.] ... Thanks, though. That's good to know.

[ The gratefulness at that, is evident. Even if for a moment she keeps her gaze away as they fully arrive at the park. ]

[He smiles at that and shrugs.] Maybe. [Astrid changes her mind, but Astrid doesn't change much. He's sure that's right.]

Anytime. [He turns away again, gesturing to the park.]

Welcome to our breath of nature amongst all the weirdly tall buildings.

Really weird, tall buildings.

[ She agreed, slightly exasperated at the idea. She waves a hand as she steps onto the path: ] It feels wrong, there's more buildings than there is nature.

It does.

Supposedly in the future, all these buildings and all these rooms would have people living in them. And just...

Its so many people. I've seen it a couple of times in memories and games, but its always so many. Its hard to fathom as being real.

Yeah, someone told me they'd all usually be filled, too.

[ The fact it's normal for most others to just see dozens of different people a day in a large city like this? It feels wild. ]

It's definitely a lot to get used to.

It is. Some I'm still not used to.

[He walks further into the park, though doing a little turn as he walks and looking at the buildings.]

Though the buildings do make for fun exercise. At least when you're not afraid of heights. [Parkour is pretty great.]

Edited 2022-09-28 07:31 (UTC)

Oh yes, we've been through that one already.

[ Said in the tone of 'ugh, boys' like she has any room to judge. ~~One day she'll remember jumping off cliffs for the thrill of it with Heather.~~ ]

Soo... Is there anything someone should expect?

[ For emphasis, she'll pull out the phone which she doesn't, notably, look the most comfortable with. That's to be expected. ]

That fun doesn't require any abilities. I've gone on runs with others before.

[Okay, maybe there was a little Concrete Jungle for the bigger jumps.]

Remembering will be more intense then you do now. It feels like you're reliving the memory at least somewhat. Intensity can differ some, but it is more intense then normal.

Like when I remembered losing this [he gestures to his leg as he extends it] I passed out for a bit.

We'll see about that. You'll have to take me with you next time.

[ :u because she too is an adrenaline junkie, but an extra competitive one. ]

Hm. [ She glanced down at his leg when he gestures to it, but doesn't linger. ] Then I'm guessing sitting down is probably the preferred method?

Sure. There's even a path set up for the jumps people can't make without abilities.

Yeah, its usually a good idea.

So it could already easily become a race.

[ Don't tell her that. ]

[ She considers what he says as he says it - looking up before looking back down at the phone in hand. And maybe it would have been wise to sit down, but she's Astrid and slightly stubborn. She thinks she'll handle it no matter what that she looks through the shop. Then without letting herself have another moment of indecision hits the purchase button. ]

[ Of course, there's no real way to prepare yourself for a first memory of any kind, but the memory projects is of course no dragon left behind ~~i'll write out a write-up properly later~~. While she hadn't expected memory to exactly be so long there's a lot to unpack there. ]

[ And maybe - She'll be quiet for a long moment after it just to process. ]

It could, yeah.

[Listen, he's not gonna discourage her. Races are fun.]

[He's noting that and shakes his head in bemusement. He supposed he should have expected that.]

[And...oh. Oh, that is a rough first memory.]

[He can't help the jerk of worry when she decides to punch the Sliterwing dragon, even though he knows she must survive, knows Stormfly must as well, but its hard to fight the kneejerk need to want her and her dragon to be safe.]

[And as to be expected, they're fine. Which is good. Still...it was a lot.]

...you okay?

[ It is a lot to process. Maybe she's not so surprised at intentionally poisoning herself to save a dragon as she should be but it's just still... Nice to know he's not lying to her, honestly. For one. She trusted his earnestness, but seeing him there and the trust she had in him is helpful even if it's -

Certainly a lot in other areas and she's not necessarily embarrassed (but she will punch him if he brings up the fact she cried). But there is a loss she wasn't exactly expecting in her heart, left over from how intense the memories and bond with Stormfly was. ]

I'm fine... I just miss her.

Which is stupid because I didn't remember who she was a minute ago.

[ But Stormfly is her good girl and that just rings true in her heart now. ]

[He chuckles at that, a kind of sad sound.]

...I actually had a similar experience. My first memory, Toothless had been poisoned with a Dragon Root arrow, and I was running around trying to get a cure together in pretty dangerous circumstances.

[He pauses and reaches out, squeezing her shoulder.]

Its...kind of reassuring, in a weird way. Like our minds refuse to forget them that long, so the first thing has to be just how important they are, and at least some idea of how far we'd go for them.

Edited 2022-09-28 09:02 (UTC)

[ Astrid glanced up when he chuckled, brows furrowed from confusion. Then he goes on and she huffs a breath of a sound, ]

Well, it does sound like we lead some pretty dangerous lives.

[ That doesn't exactly scare her, but it's something to think about - Between his leg and poisoned dragons. Still, maybe it's how she's choosing to trust him or the rust she felt in the memory. She doesn't tense when she feels his hand on her shoulder and the small smile she shoots is grateful, if fleeting. ]

You're right, it is kind of nice. Like, maybe I don't know everything, but I know she's an important part of it. A part I don't want to lose. [ Which will suck later, but she doesn't concentrate on it as she glances away. If she feels a tinge of guilt now, she won't admit to it; ] You guys, too.

[ as in the other riders, because of course - ruffnut, fishlegs, and hiccup have their own impacts ]

Yeah. But we're vikings. Its an occupational hazard.

[Hiccup can admit to himself that part of himself unwinds at the look she gives him. Its familiar, something he's used to, at least a little bit of it.]

[He's missed it.]

[He lowers his hand, nodding along.] Yeah. Its a relationship that little can compare to. Its a lot easier to go forward, remembering them. [Even if it games not having them hurt even more.]

[The smile turns...undeniably soft at that.] We do a lot together. And as much as they can drive us up the wall, and they will...I wouldn't trade them away for anything. [Then he gives her a teasing look.] But I think you can see why I sounded like a serenading yak when I saw you. [Getting blindsided by the rush of emotion was A Lot.]

Hm.

[ It's a quiet sound noncommittal in its essence as she moves to brush a strand of hair behind her ear while she listens. Like she wonders how much of it is a hazard or by choice, but won't say as much yet. ]

You'd know better than me when it comes to that. [ Because right now all she can think about is... What's happening to Stormfly now, dragon or no. But she refuses to let herself linger on that either. ]

Oh, I can tell already - [ She made Tuffnut cry after all. But when he turns teasing she raises a brow and crosses her arms: ] A serenading yak? [ Incredulous ] Try a bleating baby goat who's lost it's mother.

[The answer is yes.]

[He shrugs.] Hey, it won't take too long. Probably. They do drive us up that wall a lot. [So hard to say how many of the more Fond memories Astrid will get over the Muttonhead ones.]

[He gasps, putting a hand over his chest in mock offense.] The audacity. And here I thought you would appreciate my singing.

Well, I'm sure I'll find out more about that soon enough.

[ Because she's not going to give up on recovering memories anytime soon - anything she wants to go hard in she will to do just that. ]

[ Astrid crossed her arms, this time more a motion of amusement than the wariness it had in the more recent past. The breath of a laugh in rumbling in her chest: ]

You sure wish. At least, I hope that's not what you equate to singing.

Yeah, that part you definitely will.

[He can't really blame her. He should probably take more of his memories. He just gets Easily Distracted and his memories can either be very calm, or Very Not Calm and it can be a lot to deal with.]

[He laughs and grins.]

Well....

I wouldn't say I could sing much better. I think I'm a little better at getting a tune maybe?

[ She'll let the first part go. It's nothing to dwell on now - Sure, she could probably buy at least one more at the moment, but for the moment it's sufficient. ]

[ Instead she rolls her eyes, good-natured. ]

Yeah. Maybe.

[ She tucks away her phone for the moment with all the disdain/confusion someone who hasn't gotten used to it yet can portray. ]

At least you weren't lying; I was planning to punch you if you were.

[ ...Is that why she asked him to join her? maybe. ]